For The Week Of 01/02/2012
Happy with all the porn you are taking off Sublime… time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

This nasty, sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?" The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that ballerina a drink!" The bartender pours the drink and the woman chugs it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit and saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?" Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!" After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk and states, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?" The drunk replies, "Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Gif -Mashup!
Whoop -Makin' Whoopi!
Laws -Of Modern Man!
Sexy People -Perfect Portraits!
Texts -During Sex!
FvF -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
inDecision Lays Out Pros and Cons on Your iPhone

iOS: One of the standard ways of making a difficult decision is laying out the pros and cons of the situation, then counting which list is greater than the other. But what if some points matter more than others? The inDecision app helps you out with this. Not only does the app let you easily see the pros and the cons after you've entered them in, it also lets you rate each point on a sliding scale, from "hardly matters" to "very important." After entering in all your data and rating each point, it'll show you how much, percentage-wise, is in the pro and con columns. inDecision will also keep track of past decisions, so you can revisit your thinking if it turns out your decision was bad.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submitted by sg

Do men feel awkward when another man has a bigger dick and they both are gonna fuck the same woman at the same time?

A:
I've never tried double penetration, and as luck would have it, any other man present during group sex was at most, no bigger than me. I'm not sure if you're talking about simultaneous vaginal penetration, or simultaneous anal/vaginal, but I've been told what's awkward during either is the feeling of rubbing against another man's penis. My guess is that a bisexual man might find this ideal. But for a straight guy, even a fairly open minded one, it could be disturbing.

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Classic Firework Nutshot


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
TREASURE COAST, FL -- A man who "pulled his penis out and urinated on the floor" and who passed gas with an "unbearable" aroma was arrested after accusations of 911 misuse, according to a recently released affidavit. A Fort Pierce police officer Dec. 17 was in Lawnwood Regional Medical Center & Heart Institute's emergency room when Isreal Rosado, 44, was discharged. Rosado refused to leave until he got a meal, and police told him to leave. "The suspect would not follow orders given and pulled his penis out and urinated on the floor," an affidavit states. An officer directed Rosado to a phone after he said he needed a ride. Dispatch officials reported Rosado called and said he had "mental problems." The officer told Rosado he needed to vacate the premises, and he said he wanted to go to a mental health center for a meal. Another officer said Rosado, of the 700 block of Palm Avenue in Fort Pierce, previously called 911 for a ride. He was arrested on charges including misuse of 911 and trespass after warning. The officer patted Rosado down for weapons and he "continued to pass gas." "The aroma was unbearable," an affidavit states.
 
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Winner
"Every time you eat a greasy burger, an angel queefs." -Ricardo

Runner-up
"Try my cherry pie, it's delicious..." -Gary



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