For The Week Of 01/04/2010
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A young girl gets married and a few days later her mother goes to visit. When she knocks on the door, she is shocked to see her daughter open it naked. "What are you doing?" she asks. "Mom, it's my LOVE dress!! Don't you like it?" I'll come back in a few weeks when the honeymoon is over" replies the mom. When she goes back, she is shocked when once again her daughter is naked. "Now what are you doing?" "Mom, it's my LOVE dress. It keeps the marriage spicy!" Later that night the mom decides to try it for herself. When her husband comes home, he gives the same reaction: "Honey, what are you doing?" she give him the same answer her daughter gave her, "It's my LOVE dress! What do you think of it?" Her husband thinks long and hard and says, "You should have ironed it."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Nic Cage -As Everyone.
Hot Chicks In Horrible -Movies!
Women's 2010 New Years -Resolutions!
Top 10 manwhores -of 2009!
Top 100 Moments of -2009!
Yo Ho Ho Cannon -Game of the Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How To Fall In Love And Stay In Love
Tip #1: Surround yourself with people that you enjoy. If you are looking to fall in love, it is important to have people around you that you have fun with all the time. Tip #2: Visit places where people share your interests. Libraries, bike trails and even art galleries are examples of places you can go if those are your interests. Finding someone that shares your interests is always a good thing. Tip #3: Shed all the baggage of previous relationships. Moving forward and falling in love is impossible if you are not emotionally ready. Pining for an old flame will most certainly get in the way Tip #4: Take time to know and love yourself before looking for love. Falling in love is much easier when you respect yourself. Tip #5: Confess any skeletons in your closet before you get serious with anyone. If you have a past problem, it will eventually come out. If you are not up front about it, it can kill your trust with one another. Tip #6: Accept that your partner has flaws and love them anyway. To stay in love, you must be willing to overlook some flaws. Everyone has them, and hopefully your partner accepts yours. Tip #7: Freshen up your love life regularly to keep things exciting. Just because you are married or steady with your partner, it does not mean you can allow the love life to grow stale. Do something new and exciting every once in a while. Tip #8: Spend quality time with your partner every single day that you can. This means turning off the television, and talking about your day. Find out where your partner's mind is, and support them in every way possible. Tip #9: Encourage independence and individuality. Having a great relationship does not mean shedding your own identity. Be confident enough to be happy even when you are apart. Tip #10: Hold each other on a regular basis. Intimacy grows when you have physical closeness, and tends to wane when you are distant. Even if you are not having sex, holding hands goes a long way towards staying in love. Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by: Justsomeguy

M girlfriend has a very tight vagina. As in, it hurts for the first few minutes, when anything larger than a finger is inserted. She says that it's always been that way, too. She said that it hurt for the first few minutes every time she had sex with her last boyfriend. When we started to fool around, it hurt her when I inserted a second finger when manually stimulating her, and I could definitely tell that she's very small down there. My penis is thicker than three of my fingers, How do I get around this unique situation without causing her more pain?

A:
Dear JSG, The female body comes built in with the ability to loosen itself down there. Most of the time when a girl is super tight, it's just because she is not mentally prepared for what is going on. The same happens with anal sex. Chances are she's a bit afraid of sex because of that pain, so now she experiences it every time because that is what her mind expects. To get her over this hurdles, try buying her a series of dildos that go from small to big. Get lots of lube and then start practicing with them. Move up in size until she can comfortably handle a dildo roughly the size of your dick. Then jump in. She'll feel like she's stretching herself out down there, even if all she's doing is getting used to what her body can already handle.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


NSFW Match.com Commercial!
 
  Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com  
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A HUBBY told last night how his wife forced him to choose between her and a 6ft-tall green MONSTER. Robert Cushnie, 42, had happily shared his home with a giant model of an Orc - a creepy character from a computer game - for six years. But his Canadian spouse Dee, 42, warned that if he didn't ditch the gruesome creature, she'd move back to her homeland without him. So now distraught Robert, of Aberdeen, has been forced to have his giant toy ADOPTED. Last night the telecommunications manager explained "It came down to the wife or the Orc. "She said there wasn't any room for him in our life. I've had him for six years but Dee means more to me, so he had to go." Orcs are bloodthirsty warriors from the fantasy computer game World of Warcraft. And Robert was thrilled when he landed his life-sized metal and plastic figure from a Falkirk toy shop that shut down. But he and Dee, who married last February, will move to Canada later this month - without the Orc. Dee said: "I just don't like it. I'm only 5ft 3in, so it towers over me, which is quite creepy." The Orc has found a new home in Aberdeen with Michael Thomson, 61, and wife Patricia, 55. And their granddaughter Kimberlea Logie, 16, is already a fan. Last night Patricia said: "We wanted him because he's so unusual. Our grandkids love him." Robert said: "I'll miss him - but I'm glad he's gone to a good home."
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T! Runners up will win a kick ass Sublime Hat!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Marylin Manson is on the juice!" -DMSILLY
Runners-up
"Mirror mirror... What will I look like in 10 years? It's me, Carrot Top." - "C"



contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com



Show your support..Suggest SublimeTimes to a friend!
Friend's Email:
Your name: NOTE: Please put a name your friend will recognize
 

Archived Issues:
|06-18-2001 |06-25-2001 |07-02-2001 |07-09-2001 |07-16-2001 |
|07-23-2001 |07-30-2001 |08-06-2001 |08-13-2001 |08-20-2001 |
|08-27-2001 |09-03-2001 |09-10-2001 |09-17-2001 |09-23-2001 |
|10-01-2001 |10-08-2001 |10-15-2001 |10-22-2001 |10-30-2001 |
|11-05-2001 |11-12-2001 |11-17-2001 |11-24-2001 |12-03-2001 |
|12-10-2001 |12-17-2001 |12-24-2001 |12-31-2001 |01-07-2002 |
|01-14-2002 |01-21-2002 |02-04-2002 |02-11-2002 |02-18-2002 |
|02-25-2002 |03-03-2002 |03-10-2002 |03-18-2002 |03-25-2002 |
|04-01-2002 |04-08-2002 |04-15-2002 |04-22-2002 |04-29-2002 |
|05-06-2002 |05-13-2002 |05-20-2002 |05-27-2002 |06-03-2002 |
|06-10-2002 |06-17-2002 |06-24-2002 |07-01-2002 |07-07-2002 |
|07-15-2002 |07-22-2002 |07-29-2002 |08-05-2002 |08-12-2002 |
|08-19-2002 |08-26-2002 |09-02-2002 |09-09-2002 |09-16-2002 |
|09-23-2002 |09-30-2002 |10-07-2002 |10-14-2002 |10-21-2002 |
|10-28-2002 |11-04-2002 |11-11-2002 |11-18-2002 |11-25-2002 |
|12-02-2002 |12-09-2002 |12-16-2002 |12-23-2002 |12-30-2002 |
|01-06-2003 |01-13-2003 |01-20-2003 |01-27-2003 |02-03-2003 |
|02-10-2003 |02-17-2003 |02-24-2003 |03-03-2003 |03-10-2003 |
|03-17-2003 |03-24-2003 |03-31-2003 |04-07-2003 |04-14-2003 |
|04-21-2003 |04-28-2003 |05-05-2003 |05-12-2003 |05-19-2003 |
|05-27-2003 |06-02-2003 |06-09-2003 |06-16-2003 |06-24-2003 |
|06-30-2003 |07-07-2003 |07-14-2003 |07-21-2003 |07-28-2003 |
|08-04-2003 |08-11-2003 |08-18-2003 |08-25-2003 |09-01-2003 |
|09-08-2003 |09-15-2003 |09-22-2003 |09-29-2003 |10-06-2003 |
|10-13-2003 |10-20-2003 |10-27-2003 |11-03-2003 |11-10-2003 |
|11-17-2003 |11-24-2003 |12-01-2003 |12-08-2003 |12-15-2003 |
|12-22-2003 |12-29-2003 |01-05-2004 |01-12-2004 |01-19-2004 |
|01-26-2004 |02-02-2004 |02-09-2004 |02-16-2004 |02-23-2004 |
|03-01-2004 |03-08-2004 |03-15-2004 |03-22-2004 |03-29-2004 |
|04-05-2004 |04-12-2004 |04-19-2004 |04-26-2004 |05-03-2004 |
|05-10-2004 |05-17-2004 |05-24-2004 |05-31-2004 |06-07-2004 |
|06-14-2004 |06-21-2004 |06-28-2004 |07-05-2004 |07-12-2004 |
|07-19-2004 |07-26-2004 |08-02-2004 |08-09-2004 |08-16-2004 |
|08-23-2004 |08-30-2004 |09-06-2004 |09-13-2004 |09-20-2004 |
|09-27-2004 |10-04-2004 |10-11-2004 |10-18-2004 |10-25-2004 |
|11-01-2004 |11-08-2004 |11-15-2004 |11-22-2004 |11-29-2004 |
|12-06-2004 |12-13-2004 |12-20-2004 |12-27-2004 |01-03-2005 |
|01-10-2005 |01-17-2005 |01-24-2005 |01-31-2005 |02-07-2005 |
|02-14-2005 |02-21-2005 |02-28-2005 |03-07-2005 |03-14-2005 |
|03-21-2005 |03-28-2005 |04-04-2005 |04-11-2005 |04-18-2005 |
|04-24-2005 |05-02-2005 |05-09-2005 |05-16-2005 |05-23-2005 |
|05-30-2005 |06-06-2005 |06-13-2005 |06-20-2005 |06-27-2005 |
|07-04-2005 |07-11-2005 |07-18-2005 |07-25-2005 |08-01-2005 |
|08-08-2005 |08-15-2005 |08-22-2005 |08-29-2005 |09-04-2005 |
|09-11-2005 |09-17-2005 |09-24-2005 |10-03-2005 |10-10-2005 |
|10-17-2005 |10-24-2005 |10-31-2005 |11-07-2005 |11-14-2005 |
|11-21-2005 |11-28-2005 |12-05-2005 |12-12-2005 |12-19-2005 |
|12-26-2005 |01-02-2006 |01-09-2006 |01-16-2006 |01-23-2006 |
|01-31-2006 |02-06-2006 |02-13-2006 |02-20-2006 |02-27-2006 |
|03-06-2006 |03-13-2006 |03-20-2006 |03-27-2006 |04-03-2006 |
|04-10-2006 |04-17-2006 |04-24-2006 |05-01-2006 |05-08-2006 |
|05-15-2006 |05-22-2006 |05-29-2006 |06-05-2006 |06-12-2006 |
|06-17-2006 |06-26-2006 |07-03-2006 |07-10-2006 |07-17-2006 |
|07-24-2006 |07-31-2006 |08-07-2006 |08-14-2006 |08-21-2006 |
|08-28-2006 |09-04-2006 |09-11-2006 |09-18-2006 |09-25-2006 |
|10-01-2006 |10-08-2006 |10-16-2006 |10-23-2006 |10-30-2006 |
|11-06-2006 |11-13-2006 |11-20-2006 |11-28-2006 |12-04-2006 |
|12-11-2006 |12-18-2006 |12-25-2006 |01-01-2007 |01-08-2007 |
|01-15-2007 |01-22-2007 |01-29-2007 |02-05-2007 |02-12-2007 |
|02-19-2007 |02-27-2007 |03-05-2007 |03-12-2007 |03-19-2007 |
|03-27-2007 |04-02-2007 |04-09-2007 |04-16-2007 |04-23-2007 |
|04-30-2007 |05-07-2007 |05-14-2007 |05-21-2007 |05-28-2007 |
|06-04-2007 |06-11-2007 |06-18-2007 |06-11-2007 |06-25-2007 |
|07-02-2007 |07-09-2007 |07-16-2007 |07-23-2007 |07-30-2007 |
|08-06-2007 |08-13-2007 |08-20-2007 |08-27-2007 |09-03-2007 |
|09-10-2007 |09-17-2007 |09-24-2007 |10-01-2007 |10-08-2007 |
|10-15-2007 |10-22-2007 |10-29-2007 |11-05-2007 |11-12-2007 |
|11-19-2007 |11-26-2007 |12-03-2007 |12-10-2007 |12-17-2007 |
|12-24-2007 |12-31-2007 |01-07-2008 |01-14-2008 |01-21-2008 |
|01-28-2008 |02-04-2008 |02-11-2008 |02-18-2008 |02-25-2008 |
|03-03-2008 |03-10-2008 |03-17-2008 |03-24-2008 |03-31-2008 |
|04-07-2008 |04-14-2008 |04-21-2008 |04-28-2008 |05-05-2008 |
|05-12-2008 |05-19-2008 |05-26-2008 |06-02-2008 |06-09-2008 |
|06-16-2008 |06-23-2008 |06-30-2008 |07-07-2008 |07-14-2008 |
|07-21-2008 |07-28-2008 |08-04-2008 |08-11-2008 |08-18-2008 |
|08-25-2008 |09-01-2008 |09-08-2008 |09-15-2008 |09-22-2008 |
|09-29-2008 |10-06-2008 |10-13-2008 |10-20-2008 |10-27-2008 |
|11-03-2008 |11-10-2008 |11-17-2008 |11-24-2008 |12-01-2008 |
|12-08-2008 |12-15-2008 |12-22-2008 |12-29-2008 |01-05-2009 |
|01-12-2009 |01-19-2009 |01-26-2009 |02-02-2009 |02-09-2009 |
|02-16-2009 |02-23-2009 |03-02-2009 |03-09-2009 |03-16-2009 |
|03-23-2009 |03-30-2009 |04-06-2009 |04-13-2009 |04-20-2009 |
|04-27-2009 |05-04-2009 |05-11-2009 |05-18-2009 |05-25-2009 |
|06-01-2009 |06-08-2009 |06-15-2009 |06-22-2009 |06-29-2009 |
|07-06-2009 |07-13-2009 |07-20-2009 |07-27-2009 |08-03-2009 |
|08-10-2009 |08-17-2009 |08-24-2009 |08-31-2009 |09-07-2009 |
|09-14-2009 |09-21-2009 |09-28-2009 |10-05-2009 |10-12-2009 |
|10-19-2009 |10-12-2009 |10-26-2009 |11-02-2009 |11-09-2009 |
|11-16-2009 |11-23-2009 |11-30-2009 |12-07-2009 |12-14-2009 |
|12-21-2009 |12-28-2009 |






[ back to sublime main ]