For The Week Of 01/05/2009
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

There was a shoe sales man sitting in his store when a beautiful woman comes in. He looks at her and can't stop staring. While helping her try on a pair of shoes he glances up her skirt to find she isn't wearing any panties. He started thinking and something slipped out. The man said "I'd like to fill your pussy with ice cream and lick it all out!" Hearing this the woman runs out to tell her husband. She says, "Honey, this shoe salesman said he'd like to fill my pussy up with ice cream and lick it all out!" "Now go kick his ass!". The husband replied "Dear, anyone that can eat that much ice cream, I ain't fuckin' with!".

SITES OF THE WEEK
Disneyland -Orgy!
Crazy -Birds!
THC Breath -Strips!
Hilarious -Signage!
25 Sexiest -Photo Shoots!
Mario Adventure!-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How To Put Tire Snow Chains On
Step1: Before You need to use the snow chains check to make sure they are not tangled or twisted. Note the side that may have cleats so that this side can be faced up when installed. Step2: When ready to use the chains slowly drape the chains OVER the top of the tire making sure the middle section of the chains are on the TOP middle of the tire. Step3: Straighten up the chains so that they are evenly distributed over the tire and on both side of the tire. Step4: Check to see that the chain hook is on the backside and the loose end with no hook is on the nearest end towards the rear of the automobile. Step5: Hook the chain on the back side first and then on the front side, adjusting as needed to make sure all sections are evenly distributed. Step6: Fasten the chain tightener on the front of the tire in a triangular pattern so that the chains are well secured in an even manner. Step7: Drive a short distance and double check the chain installation to make sure the chains are tight enough or if it looks like they need a last minute adjustment.Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by:Phil

My girlfriend and I are virgins and don't think we're ready for sex yet, but we do indulge in a lot of foreplay and do enjoy it too. If I fingered her, would it cause her pain and would she bleed, as she is still a virgin? And is it true that virgin females can't experience an orgasm when oral sex is performed on them?

A:
Dear Phil, Putting your fingers inside a woman may not cause your girlfriend to bleed, but depending on how aroused she is, it may be slightly uncomfortable at first, so be gentle and start slowly. As for your other question, that is completely false; a woman who has never had intercourse can still orgasm from oral sex.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Skier Gets Blindsided
 
 
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
DANBURY, Conn. On the day that Donald Peters died, he unknowingly provided financial security for his wife of 59 years and their family. Peters bought two Connecticut Lottery tickets at a local 7-Eleven store on Nov. 1 as part of a 20-year tradition he shared with his wife Charlotte. Later that day, the 79-year-old retired hat factory worker suffered a fatal heart attack while working in his yard in Danbury. On Friday, his widow cashed in one of the tickets: a $10 million winner which, in her grief over her husband's death, she had put aside and almost discarded before recently checking the numbers. "I'm numb," Charlotte Peters, 78, said at Connecticut Lottery headquarters in Rocky Hill. Donald Peters usually bought the tickets for 10 weeks at a stretch, so the winning ticket he bought Nov. 1 for the Dec. 2 drawing was among several that Charlotte Peters put aside as she, their three children and two grandchildren coped with his sudden death. "I was in the grocery store and I had it checked and they told me I was a winner," she said. "I had no idea how much it was." She said she thought she had won $6 million but was surprised to learn from lottery officials she'd won $10 million. Charlotte Peters has 60 days to decide whether to take a $6 million pre-tax lump sum payment or stretch the winnings into 21 yearly payments of almost $477,300 each. She does not yet know what she will do with the money. "I've always wanted a Corvette, but I don't think I'll buy one. I'll stick to a small car. I might go to Mohegan Sun," she said, referring to the casino in Connecticut. "I'm going to go home and sit and think." The Peters children think their father would have appreciated the irony. "He'd be very mad, he just passed away and she won a lot of money," said Brian Peters, one of the couple's three children. "He'd say, 'Figures!'"
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"Yard sale at the Clinton's" - Jack
Runners-up
"This is where they end when full of sperm" - Alain



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