For The Week Of 01/07/02
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

It's 2:30 am when the red phone in President Bush's bed room rings. He sleepily answers it and the security operator says that they have Osama on the line. Bush quickly wakes up and says to patch bin Laden through. Osama: I just had the most wonderful of dreams! New York City was in ruins... All of its highest towers crumbled! On all that was left standing were tapestries and banners that said "Allah is Great!" Bush: Oh... I see... Well, I also had a dream. In my dream Afghanistan was turned into a wonderfully productive place. Its cities were heads of commerce and culture. It lead the world in science and art... And there were also banners everywhere... Osama: What did these banners of yours say? Bush: Oh... the banners.. I don't know.. they were all in Hebrew.

SITES OF THE WEEK
Ghetto Scooter -Ride in style.
Agent Pussy! -Flash Adventure.
Fart-o-matic -Make your own!!
Pickup Lines -How many have you used!
Payback -Its a bitch.
TIPS & TRICKS
Watch a Free Movie!
Wanna watch a free flick. Go with two of your buds to a movie theatre and buy two tickets. Now two of you guys go in and one of you come back with both of the ticket stubs. Wait a bit and then go in using the tabs.. and you got yourself a free movie... Hey might as well stay for another show, On the house!.
ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by Pete

I need your advice on a problem that I'm sure many thousands of other SD fans can understand. I'm a 34 year-old male, happily and faithfully married for 6+ years now, but my wife's sexual attitude has taken a turn for the worse over the years. Now I'm afraid I might stray and that's why I'm writing. Before we got married, she was great - we had sex in public places, we tried toys, we watched videos together, all kinds of kinks -- everything was beautiful. Soon after we tied the knot though, she told me that she wasn't a big fan of wet kisses, that she didn't like receiving oral sex, and so forth and so on. Nowadays I have trouble even getting a good hug. I've tried all kinds of twists - night out on the town, nice lingerie, cooked her dinner, candlelight, everything… But it's almost always the same even though I try to do different things. Sure, the sex can be fulfilling at times, but I'm continually fantasizing about the earlier days when she let me do crazy things like shave her and give her oral, etc. I think that the problem stems from her being a tight and light hottie to a slightly voluptuous mom with two little kids. At least that's what she says when we try to discuss this issue. She doesn't see herself as a hottie anymore, and rarely does she act like one. My repeated overtures are too often dismissed - which leaves me nothing but frustrated and anxious - which only worsens things. Besides the regular self-relief, what else can I do?

A:
I love to get a question like this because it gives other sublimers an opportunity to see what a real man is. Married for six years with two kids and is doing everything he can to stay loyal to his wife. I think you hit the nail on the head for the reason she is not as sexually liberal as she used to. I talked to a number of married women on this one and they all agreed that putting on a couple of pounds and having two kids will definitely cause women to feel unsexy and insecure at times. I think you were going down the right path by setting up romantic dinners, flowers etc, but I think you need to do one more thing. You need to constantly remind your wife how beautiful and sexy she is to you. If you are constantly letting her know how much she turns you on and how lucky you are to have such a beautiful wife it will only be a short time before you guys are doing things like pulling over for a quickie in the back seat of the car. If this doesn't work then you need to sit down and talk to her. This time letting her know how important this is to you and that it is an issue that needs to be resolved. Getting her to agree to see a therapist could very beneficial. Not so much the advice but rather having a third party mediating can be very helpful. The main thing is just to keep trying until the problem is resolved. Good luck and drop me an email update when you get a chance.

-JD

 
Clip OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Dance Way!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "cap.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "cap.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


Never Getting Laid!


Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Most of the boys born in a Nigerian city since September 11 have been named after Osama bin Laden. Hospital officials in Kano told the Vanguard newspaper there has been a huge increase in the number of infants named after him. Paediatric nurse Jamila Shehu said at least seven out of 10 babies receiving post-natal care are called Osama. She said: "Osama babies are being brought in daily for postnatal care. This is, indeed, a season of Osama babies." A worker at the government civic registration centre said bin Laden appears to have become "a kind of hero to the people". The actual number of "Osama" babies in Kano, in the Muslim north, could be even higher, he said, as not all new-borns are registered at the centre. Kano was one of several cities and towns in mainly Muslim northern Nigeria where people celebrated the September 11 attacks. Sadiq Ahmed, father of an infant Osama, said: "Osama bin Laden is my hero. "My wife gave birth to our third child on September 15 and I named him Osama in honour of Osama bin Laden who has proved to the world that only Allah is invincible, by exposing America to shame despite its claim of being the strongest nation on earth. I want my child to imbibe his courage."

 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the caption that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Ed & Ted's land of the inbread..our motto: "Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear" -Sean
Runners-up
"move your hand, you god damn cockblocker" -Ayotola
"a case of bud--- fifteen bucks a cheap motel room--- twenty bucks getting her drunk and fucking your best friends girl WITH him---priceless ." -Schmitty

Archived Issues:
|06-18-2001 |06-25-2001 |07-02-2001 |07-09-2001 |07-16-2001 |
|07-23-2001 |07-30-2001 |08-06-2001 |08-13-2001 |08-20-2001 |
|08-27-2001 |09-03-2001 |09-10-2001 |09-17-2001 |09-23-2001 |
|10-01-2001 |10-08-2001 |10-15-2001 |10-22-2001 |10-30-2001|
|11-05-2001 |11-12-2001 |11-17-2001 |11-24-2001|12-03-2001 |
|12-10-2001 ||12-17-2001|12-24-2001|12-31-2001




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