For The Week Of 01/07/2013
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

An old man enters a confessional and proudly exclaims, "Father, I have to tell you what happened to me last night. I'm 90 years old, and I made love to two 18-year-old women for eight hours!" The stern priest replies, "That is a sin. I will have to give you a penance." "Father, you can't give me a penance." "Why not?" "Because I'm Jewish." The perplexed Father asks, "Then why are you telling me?" "I'm telling everyone!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
The Blind -Film Critic!
Fresh Photons -Science Stuff
I Found -Banksy's Notebook!
Abandoned -Amusement Park
A Platinum -$1 Trillion Coin?
Asmosnos -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
DropSpace Automatically Syncs SD Card to Dropbox

Android: If you like to automate backups and files generated by your phone or tablet that don't normally save to your Dropbox folder consider using the free utility app DropSpace. Of course Dropbox already has an Android app so why would you want to use a third-party app that syncs with Dropbox? Well, if you like using Titanium Backup or Tasker you can easily automate your backups by setting up those apps to automatically backup to your SD card and DropSpace will then automatically sync this file with Dropbox without you having to alter the file folder structure to fit everything within the native Dropbox app. Also there is a free plugin for Tasker users that adds DropSpace as an action for a task created within that application. Setup is simple, just select which folders should be kept synced with Dropbox and how often DropSpace should sync. One small feature that will be considered a drawback for some and a plus for others is that when files are added to your Dropbox account they won't automatically sync to your SD card, but if there exists a newer version of a file already on your mobile device you can choose to have that file update to the newer version. This is designed so that your phone won't automatically download large files temporarily placed in Dropbox to share with a friend and so you can delete files on your phone without accidentally deleting them from your Dropbox. While not for everyone this app has promise if you're specific about your device backups and/or are a heavy user of Tasker.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Blacksheep

"I've never been able to [orgasm] - not on my own, not with my boyfriend; never. The closest I MAY HAVE came was when he and I were having phone sex. I felt something building up although I wasn't touching myself - just listening - and his dad's girlfriend called him for something so he had to stop before I could see what would happen. I have tried touching myself when I'm alone, especially when I'm already turned on, but usually to no avail..sometimes, maybe because I'm not doing it right (just rubbing my clit,) I feel like it'll actually distract me from the initial feeling and I'll give up altogether.

Other times, I'll touch myself when we're in bed and it will feel ten times as much better but I still don't feel it going anywhere. I don't necessarily think anything is building up. He'll do plenty of things that feel good..but it doesn't lead anywhere for me.

What do I do? I've told him it's harder for me as I don't want him to feel bad, and I don't think he's doing anything wrong. Maybe I have too much stress though I'm not sure. I really want to be able to...for my sake and his as they're supposed to feel incredible."

A:

"... Almost every woman has the ability to orgasm. Key words there are; "has the ability" It doesn't mean that every woman orgasms, it just means that the ones who don't, still can. All you have to do is; find out exactly what gets you aroused and what exactly gets you off. That goes for both physical and mental stimulation.

You need to ask yourself specifics such as; what is it exactly that stimulates me? Is it both penetration and clit stimulation? Do you like to have parts of your body caressed, sucked, or licked, maybe you need your nipples pinched. Do you like; teasing and prolonging the point of pleasure, do you like anticipation, your neck kissed, your ass grabbed....the same goes for oral and penetration; ask yourself what it is exactly, that you like about oral and penetration. What pace or rhythm do you; like the slow build up, or a medium pace, maybe you like it hurried, or maybe just slow. Then I'd suggest you to explore what stimulates you mentally. Is it intelligence, romanticism, do you have any fantasies, do you like to be surprised, do you see yourself getting interested in any kinks?

You have to ask yourself all of these things. I honestly believe that almost every woman can come (medical conditions aside) they just have to figure out what exactly gets them off. Some don't figure it out until they're 30 or even older. So I say just explore your sexuality, open up to whatever you desire, and once you figure out all of your quirks, then tell your b/f, guide him, direct him through it so he can try and please you. Stress could play a part if you have trouble climaxing. Again, you would have to figure out exactly what's stressing you out. It could be various things, but only you know for sure, what it really is.

I wish you the best of luck, orgasms are a wonderful thing that everyone should enjoy. I hope you figure it all out and experience how great that release can be."

-Kal

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Red Hot Nickel Ball in Water


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
CHINA -- Sick and tired of his son playing video games and not listening to him, a father in China decided to take matters into his own hands... well, sort of. Instead of sending his son off to addiction camp or stripping him of internet and gaming rights, Mr. Feng (冯先生) chose to hire an online "hitman" to school his son.

Feng's 23 year-old son, "Xiao Feng" (小冯) started playing video games in high school. Through his years of playing various online games, he supposedly thought himself a master of Chinese online role playing games. According to his father, Xiao Feng had terrible grades in school because of his gaming habit; he couldn't even land a job. He, however, says he simply couldn't find any work that he liked. Feng was annoyed that his son couldn't even tough it out for three months at a software development company. Unhappy with his son not finding a job, Feng decided to hire players in his son's favorite online games to hunt down Xiao Feng. It is unknown where or how Feng found the in-game assassins—every one of the players he hired were stronger and higher leveled than Xiao Feng. Feng's idea was that his son would get bored of playing games if he was killed every time he logged on, and that he would start putting more effort into getting a job.

Despite being sick of getting killed every time, Xiao Feng decided to stick up to his father and tell him how he felt. He was quoted as saying, "I can play or I can not play, it doesn't bother me. I'm not looking for any job—I want to take some time to find one that suits me." Hearing his son's earnest plea, Feng said that he was "relieved". It's unsure if Feng has called off his assassins or if Xiao Feng has found a job. One thing's for sure; Feng's way of deterring his son from playing games might be one of the best ideas to come out of China recently, particularly as reactions to "gaming and internet addiction" have been very extreme.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"I wonder if silicone would make a good stuffing..." -Bart

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"Pictured: two pairs of juicy premium Butterballs." -Kiley



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