For The Week Of 01/10/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds.
I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late."
His friend looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach.
I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the ass and say 'WHO'S HORNY????!!!' and she acts like she's sound asleep! Works every time!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Celebrity Patents -Very Interesting
Speed Wobble -Pretty Interesting
Ghost Riding -WTF?
Gerald Ford -RIP
Your Birthday-Great Free Stuff
Snow Drift-Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Airline Passengers!
For the cattle car airlines, where you seat yourself according to boarding pass number, instead of assigned seating (e.g., Southwest Airlines): While at the bar before boarding your flight, dip the corner of a napkin in your drink (beer works well, a Bloody Mary even better). Unfolding the napkin as you walk onto the plane, place it on the seat next to you as you sit down. Now, close your eyes and suppress a smirk as the fellow cattle on your flight stop and see the open seat next to yours, as well as the apparent urine (or blood) stain that is apparently soaking into the napkin, and continue their journey towards the increasingly dismal ass end of the plane. Now you’ve nobody to fight with for the armrest, or, at least, you can be more selective on who shares the armrest. Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Jane
I love my boyfriend to make his entrance from behind, but when he is working away it can become quite painful. How can we, together, solve this sore problem?

A:

You don’t exactly specify where or how you get sore when your guy’s going at it doggie style, so here’s a few general suggestions. First and foremost, use lube. It’s nothing short of miracle goo, sent down by the sex gods to help us mere mortals through those tight spots. Lube should help if he’s rubbing you raw or if you feel sore around the entrance of your love tunnel. However, if the pain is deeper, say, he’s popping you in the cervix or pounding away at your uterus or even your G-spot, experiment with different iterations of the rear-entry approach. Your vaginal canal actually angles toward the back of your body. Oftentimes, the angle of a guy’s erection will match the tilt of his honey’s tube when they’re going at it rodeo style; but perhaps the angles are off for you and your guy when he’s bringing up the rear. Try changing the trajectories a bit to see if you can’t hit upon a smoother approach. Kneel on the bed with him standing behind, or you both stand, and try bending at various degrees to see if that helps. Perhaps your best bet, though, is to lie flat on your stomach with a pillow under your belly and your legs closed. It’ll still be easy for him to get in there, but he won’t get in as deep. Also, there’s an off change that you could have a tipped uterus, meaning your ute’s just slightly off kilter. Sometimes women with this problem have trouble with certain positions. Check with your doctor about this, though, as it is not terribly common.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Mr. Robot!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "movie.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "movie.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A mother and son accused of stealing a snake from a pet store were arrested when they returned to the store and asked for books on how to care for the animal, police said. Store clerks recognized the suspects from surveillance video taken during the theft and stalled them until police arrived. The video showed the 15-year-old taking the 30-inch baby boa from its cage, wrapping it around his neck and hiding it with his jacket, while his mother acted as a lookout, police said. The video appeared to show the head of the red-tail boa sticking out of the boy's jacket collar, police said. Mother and son were arrested Dec. 22. The snake, worth $300, was recovered from their home and returned to the Petland in this Cleveland suburb, police said. Sebrina Hill, 35, faces theft charges and is scheduled to appear in court next month. Her son was booked and placed in the custody of relatives, police said
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"All Bat and No Balls "-carrie
Runners-up
"THE FLAT AND THE BAT"-shel
"Batter UP"-Robert
"Honey, I couldn't find your glove but I did find your bat"-Spooky



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