For The Week Of 01/10/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A lady places a personal ad in the paper that reads, “Looking for a man who won’t beat me, won’t run out on me, and is good in bed.” Days later her doorbell rings, and she opens the door to find a man with no arms or legs. “I’m here in response to your personal ad,” he says. “I don’t have arms, so I can’t beat you. And I don’t have legs, so I can’t run out on you.” “But I need a good lover too,” she replies. “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Card Stacker -amazing!
Drunk Dial -Potential of Being Cool!
Death And Taxes -Visual Breakdown!
Kenny Mohammed -At The Philharmonic
First Domains -Ever Registered
Chuck -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Exams!
Next time you take an exam and reach a page covering subject matter you don’t know too well, stealthily remove the staple from the test by bending back the folds of the staple and remove that page from the test. Then, carefully reinsert the staple into the test. When the professor grades it, he’ll assume he neglected to give you the missing page, and either let you retake that portion of the test, or just give you full credit for it. I’ve done this three times this year!
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Jessy
I can climax during penetration but not during oral sex. I enjoy what my boyfriend is doing, and it always feels like I might orgasm, but I never do. Help!

A:
It's possible that your guy just hasn't mastered the kinds of mouth maneuvers you need to get off. So, indulge in a little erotic experimentation by asking him to vary the speed, pressure and types of moves he makes. For example, he can flicker his tongue back and forth across your clitoris, then slowly run it up and down your entire vulva. Another titillating technique that many women swear by: Have him use the tip of his tongue to trace circles or figure eights. If, after trying various techniques, you still can't reach oral gratification, you probably do need internal stimulation to climax, so clue your man in. The next time you feel like you're heading to the O zone when he's going down on you, ask him to incorporate penetration. Say something like, "I want to feel your fingers inside me." Have him move one or two fingers in and out, simulating intercourse. Or, go for some G-spot action by asking him to make "come-hither" strokes with his finger against your upper vaginal wall. If fingering doesn't fully get you off, another option is to add toys to his down-there routine. Using a vibrator or dildo to mimic doing the deed as he simultaneously licks you might be all it takes to unleash your oral orgasmic potential. The bottom line: Communicating what you need to climax will lead to better between-the-sheets satisfaction for both of you.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Blindfold Talent?
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "tsunami.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "tsunami.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
BWalking into a cafe with his four colleagues, Mack Yu, a real estate agent in his 20s, is not just out for a drink. With prints of paintings by Picasso, Dali and Delvaux hanging on the walls, the cafe looks no different from others in this South China city, except its name, Sex Cafe, which draws curious young men like Yu to take a look inside, albeit blushing a little and tentative. "The cafe is awesome," said Yu, who was surprised to find he could borrow books related to sex and surf Internet connections which provide addresses of websites giving advice on sexual health. "Our service is to bring convenience for customers by combining sex education, sex counselling and free condoms into a one-stop shopping experience," said Tao Lin, director of the city's family planning centre, whose idea it was to turn the original sex education centre into a cafe. "Backed by the local government, the cafe isn't run for profit, but for the social benefits of local residents," said Tao. Although China is opening up very quickly and perceptions are changing very fast, buying condoms and asking for help on sex issues remain embarrassing to many people. "But a sex education cafe could make a difference," said Tao. "People won't feel embarrassed to come here in the name of grabbing a cup of coffee." "There is a demand, there is a way. Citizens need proper guidance and advice about sexual issues," said Tao, adding: "People should take the initiative to learn about sex and our cafe will serve as a platform." The percentage of females of child-bearing age is 44.98 per cent of the registered population, significantly higher than that of Beijing at 30.36 per cent, Tianjin at 29.78, Shanghai at 29.47 and 23.81 in Guangzhou. Another concern is that over 53 per cent of the floating population, which makes up some 83 per cent of the city's total population, are young females, making it more difficult for the local government to control population numbers and maintain sexual health. Against this background, the cafe will be a useful channel for local citizens to obtain free and high quality condoms and emergency contraception. Doctors and counsellors are on hand to answer questions about sexual issues and marriage problems.
 
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Winner
"Next week on Pimp My Ride...!"-PQ
Runners-up
"grand theft auto, iraq style"-Mike
"Tyrone to the Police Officer " I just found it on the road" -Greg



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