For The Week Of 01/11/2016
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said, "Stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. 'Don't move until I tell you to." she said, "Just pretend you're a statue." "What's this, honey" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Joneses bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too." No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to bed. Around 2 in the morning, the husband got out of bed went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
"Here," he said to the statue, "Eat something. I stood there like an idiot at the Joneses for two whole days, and nobody so much as offered me a glass of water."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Virtual -Tori Black
A Typical -Porn Shoot
100% Proven -Sex Tips
The Drunkest -Man Alive
The 10 Weirdest -Sex Toys
Bullet Phaze -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
Search Is Back Is An Advanced Facebook Search Tool

It can be difficult to find that exact post you remember seeing on your timeline. If you need advanced search tools for Facebook...well, Search is Back! This third-party tool combs through through your own timeline or through the public one. The broad categories are people, events, posts and shares, and photos, each with further filters. Within “people”, you have further parameters like gender, interests, relationships, location, company, school, and more. Type your keyword, hit search, and it takes you to Facebook to show the relevant results. It’s basically giving you the features that make Graph Search really useful, but puts them in an easy-to-understand interface.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Theten

"It's been 3 months since I've been single, I've been at school talking to girls n even talking to them on dating sites, so far I've been attracted to chicks who are way oversized, and ones who look like men with long hair, I've been tired of that, recently I've been seeing a girl who is very chubby, she seems to like me, she gave me oral sex, she is pretty sweet, but me I don't care if the girl is skinny or chubby, rich or poor. I feel like I deserve better, what should I do?"

A:

"if you truly dont care whether if women are chubby or skinny then why think you are too good for them just have som fun slap them thighs and ride the waves."

-Lovestoeat

Source
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

The Simpsons LA-Z Rider Couch Gag


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
KOOTENAYS, BRITISH COLUMBIA -- Creston RCMP are asking the public to be on the lookout after residents in the Kootenays spotted an adult cheetah on Thursday. The big cat was seen wandering alongside Highway 3A between the small communities of Kootenay Bay and Crawford Bay on the east side of Kootenay Lake, around 4:30 p.m. Area residents and staff at Crawford Bay School were notified Thursday about a cheetah spotted on a nearby highway, said Principal Laury McPherson. “We all knew by the time the Christmas concert started, which was at 6 p.m.,” she said on Friday. McPherson said students at the elementary and secondary school will stay indoors during recess and lunch. She said the children are generally excited about the chance to see a cheetah in the area where wild animals, such as bears, are not uncommon. “Some of the little ones are a little bit worried because a cheetah is exotic. So we’ve talked about what you do when you encounter a cougar or a cheetah, like making yourself large.” Police and B.C. Conservation Services have been trying to find the animal, but so far have not been able to.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"Modern dresses aren't just getting shorter on the bottom." -Davy

Runner-up
"Some poor girl, like, lost their bra on the street. Gee it's cold out..."-TJ



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