For The Week Of 01/12/2003
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
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A drunk in a bar barfs all over his own shirt. “Damn,” he says. “I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she’s gonna kill me.” “Not to worry,” says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. “Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.” So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. “Why are there two twenties?” she asks. The drunk replies, “Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too.”

Real Ultimate Power -Ningas will Kill You!
Top Secert Recipes -From All The Major Places!
Stop Clown Porn Now! -Its just wrong!
Dfilm Movie Maker -Make One With SUBLIME DIRECTORY On It And Get A TSHIRT!
Disney Tattoo Guy -WTF!
Fly Girl -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Those cute little raffle and carnival ride tickets are also the most common form of ticket exchanged for meals and drinks at clubs and bars, often given to club musicians as part of their “pay,” or packaged with a cover charge for normal patrons. Take advantage of this by bringing a pocketful of these tickets, available at party supply stores and stationers, in assorted colors. Observe others, and take notice of which color ticket they slip the bartender, then pull from your pocket a matching ticket, and grab a drink. Throw a buck out for karma, and if there’s any heat just say your band’s playing later. While you certainly look lame “buying” a girl a drink with one of these, there’s no point in blowing bucks on whatever you intend to toast your own brain cells with!
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Q: submited by Mike
If you make eye contact with a man in a bar, what's the likelihood that you're properly interested rather than 'just looking'?

If she looks at you more than once, she's probably interested. But there's only one way to find out: use the 'Get in, get out' approach. Here's how it works: Walk up to her and say hi. Ask if you can buy her a drink. Comment on the music. Compliment her on anything she's wearing that looks unique ('I like your shirt,' Cool earrings,' etc.). There's a good chance that she wore it out intentionally to get comments and she has a story to go along with it. Bing! You're in. Let her ramble. Appear to be interested. Ask her questions. Don't feed lines. Then, after 10-30 minutes, regardless if she looks bored or interested, smile and excuse yourself politely (say you have to get back to your friends or something). Tell her you enjoyed meeting her and hope to bump into her again later. Go away for a few minutes. This will give her time to tell all her friends that some cute guy just came up to her and bought her a drink -- yes, we run straight to our friends and brag, even if the guy's unattractive. Then, casually walk back to where you were -- maybe with a friend, or to get another drink-- and plant yourself somewhere she can see you. Glance her way, and if she looks excited or says hi, pick up where you left off. Don't freak out if she appears to be whispering to her friends; she could just be saying that you're the guy who approached her and she wants to know if her friends think you're cute. Just look like you're having a good time and smile or talk with your friend. Every once in awhile, glance in her direction. If she runs away or looks panicked, she's not interested or she has a boyfriend. Save face by going to talk to another woman. Even if we're not interested, we generally don't want to shoot down a nice guy who approaches us. We know it hurts. So sometimes we're just polite to not hurt your feelings (other gals just want to milk a free drink out of you). But I find it extremely flattering when men approach me, and even if I don't initially think they're very attractive, if a guy harmlessly initiates conversation, it makes him look self confident, which is a turn on. Bottom line? Go for it. He who hesitates... well, you know the rest. Good luck!


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Jumping Idiot!

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GREENWICH, N.J. - A man who police say stole two snakes from a pet store was bitten by one of the reptiles as he drove home from the Franklin Township store. The tiger python snakes were not poisonous, and the 20-year-old man, whom police declined to identify, did not seek medical treatment for the bite to his groin area. Police said the man took the snakes last week, slipping them into canvas bags he had rigged in his pants pockets. As the man headed home, one of the snakes wriggled out of the bag, wrapped itself around his leg and bit him. Police recovered the snakes from the man's home. Officers went there because the man had bought an iguana from the store the same day the snakes were stolen. The man was charged with receiving stolen property. Theft charges were also expected to be filed.

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"SpongeShaniqua Round Pants."-Ez Daddy
"Much like Spongebob Squarepants: Whales belong in the ocean, not on land."-Jerkins
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