For The Week Of 01/14/02
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
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A guy went home from work one night and heard a voice. The voice whispered to him: "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." The man was disturbed about what he heard and ignored the voice. The next day when he got home from work, the same thing happened. The voice whispered to him: "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." Again the man ignored the voice although he was very troubled by the event. Every day, the man was tormented by the same voice when he came home from work: "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." Each time the man heard the voice, he became increasingly upset. Finally, after two weeks, he succumbed to the pressure. He quit his job, sold his house, got together all his money and headed to Vegas. The moment the man got off the plane in Vegas, the voice told him, "Go to Harrah's." So he hopped in a cab and rushed over to Harrah's. As soon as he set foot in the casino, the voice echoed, "Go to the roulette table." The man did as he was told. When he arrived at the roulette table, the voice firmly told him, "Put all your money on 17." Nervously, the man cashed in his money for chips and then put them all on 17. The dealer wished the man good luck and spun the roulette wheel. Around and around the ball caromed. The man anxiously watched the ball as it slowly lost speed until finally it settled into number . . . 21. The voice said, "Damn..."

Skeleton Fun -All tied up.
Ghost sighting! -On the upperleft corner of the door (gotta let the eyes adjust to the eyes, stare for a minute).
Become a poet -Goth Style!!
Back To Terminator -6 degrees to Arnold!
Mickey Sex -Wierd japanese people!
Beat A traffic ticket!
The first thing you should always do, no matter what the facts are, is PLEAD NOT GUILTY and ask for a court date. You can do this by certified mail, going to the clerks window or going to the court room. You are innocent until proven guilty so make them prove your guilt. Don't do it for them. There are numerous ways they can screw up and your ticket will get dismissed. Also with a little preparation and help you can win at the hearing or before. This will give you time to calmly consider your alternatives and make a better informed decision. It is also the first step in saving money on a fine. The next thing you should do is delay the proceedings by getting as many continuances as you can. Continuances are usually fairly easy to get for things like - you're out of town, can't get off work or you are sick etc. Each continuance increases the chance that the officer won't be there which will result in your ticket being dismissed. This happens 30% to 50% of the time depending on the court. I'd take those odds in Vegas any day.

Q: submitted by Reba

I have a very troublesome problem on my hands and was hoping you could give me some advice. I'm an 18 year old female who attends college, but still lives at home. One night my father asked me to go out into his car and get something out of it for him. While I was in there looking for what he wanted, I stumbled upon a brand new watch with a christmas card signed by a woman, a hotel business card, and a bottle of Viagra. All of this was hidden, so he has no idea that I found it. My parents have been married for over 25 years and are both 60 years old. The evidence that I found pretty much leads me to the conclusion that my father is a dirty old man and is cheating on my mom. I'm hesitant to tell my mom what I found because I know it would devastate her and ruin her life. What do you suggest I do...forget I saw it, tell my dad I know, tell my mom, or wait until I find any further evidence? I don't want to be blamed by ! them for anything that might happen if I do bring it up. It sickens me to look at my father now though and I'm not sure how to deal with these feelings. Please give me your advice, JD!! Thank you so much!

This sure is a tough one..i'm sorry that you had to find that stuff. this is one of the caveats of growing up...realizing the world, including our parents, are not perfect. what makes this extra difficult is that your parents have been married for so long and have lived probably most of their adult life together. i think you did the right thing by not flying off the handle and staying calm to let yourself think about what you should do. now i know that the evidence seems conclusive but there still may be lots more to the story. i think you should definitely not confront your mother about this for a myriad of reasons. if she were to find out about it she should hear it from your dad, you don't know the whole story, and it could back fire and she could end up resenting you for telling her. this is why i think you should confront your dad about it. i think you should arrange some private time with your dad and tell him what you found. doing nothing will just eat you up inside and your dad will continue on giving your mom the opportunity to find out about these things the same way you did. there could be some explanation or maybe there is an arrangement between your parents that you do not even know about. some people have stayed together for a lifetime just for the sake of their kids; they lead what seems a perfectly normal married life but in actuality they live totally separate lives. now i'm not saying that this is the case in this instance but it could exist in varying degrees. if it does turn out that he is just flat our cheating on your mother then i think you should give him some advice of your own. you should point out to him how much it would hurt you mother to find out about these things the same way you did and that he needs to either stop what he is doing or he needs to confront your mother about it. i know it is going to be a difficult discussion but i think it is your only option. just remember that you are not a kid anymore and are talking to your dad as a person..a person that cares about both parties involved. please drop me a follow up email to let me know how it goes. good luck..stay strong. ;-)


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Sling Shot!

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Never Getting Laid!

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Jacksonville police on a burglary stakeout arrested a homeless man they saw having sex with a dog in a park. Officers said they were in Kooker Park on Haines Street late Thursday when they saw a man lure a small brown dog into the park with a bag of food. The officers were less than 5 feet away when they said the man undressed, grabbed the dog and began having sex with it. When they confronted the man, he told them, "I can't get no girl," according to a police report. During the arrest, police said they found a crack pipe in the man's pocket. Troy Tyrone Merchant, 34, was charged with indecent exposure and possession of drug paraphernalia. He remained in the Duval County jail yesterday on $2,500 bond.


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"That's what I call putting your money where your mouth is." -JR
"There she goes again...pissing all her money away." -Matt
"Money doesn't grow on trees, it grows on bushes." -ben
"how did that song go... Money for nothing and her clit for free." -JB

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