For The Week Of 01/15/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man is having a few drinks at a bar when he looks over and notices a drunk guy passed out at a table nearby. The bartender tells him the drunk is Mr. Murphy and asks the man if he could drive Mr. Murphy home. Being a good Samaritan, the man agrees. The bartender writes down the address and gives it to him. The man walks over and tries to wake Mr. Murphy but Mr. Murphy is groggy and quite drunk. The man helps Mr. Murphy to his feet and Mr. Murphy falls to the floor in a heap. "Jeez," the man says wondering how anyone could drink so much. He takes Murphy by the arm and practically drags him out to the car. Once there he leans him against the side of his car while he looks for his keys. Mr. Murphy slides down to the ground. The man finds his keys and manages to get Murphy positioned in the car. He then drives to the address the bartender gave him. He opens the passenger door and helps Mr. Murphy out and the guy falls to the ground. Cursing softly now, the man helps him to his feet and practically drags him to the front door. He lets go of Mr. Murphy to knock on the door and the guy falls down again. He helps him to his feet as Mrs. Murphy answers the door. "Hi, Mrs. Murphy? Your husband had a little too much to drink tonight so I gave him a ride home." "That was nice of you," she says, looking around, "But....where's his wheelchair?"

SITES OF THE WEEK
WaterMelon Art -Amazing
The Greatest Drunk -EVER!
Super Conductors -Amazing!
Martin Luther King -Remembered
Bobby Mcferrin-Concert Solo
Vanishing Point-Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Time Cards!
Are you sick of getting docked pay because you always wake up late hungover? Hereís what you can do to make sure you get a full paycheck every week! Most timecard clocks only punch the time and the day of the week on the card. Grab 2 or 3 timecards, and punch all 3 of them every time you get to work on time. Donít fill in the dates at the top of any of them. Once you have 2 or 3 timecards with perfect 8am-5pm hours on them, you can save them for a week when you are late too much. Just swap your card at the end of the week, write in the correct date, and youíre done! Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Saber Tooth
When I give my boyfriend a blow job I have a tendency to graze him with my upper two front teeth. Can you suggest any techniques to avoid this?

A:

Thereís really only one important technique you need to know here. To keep offending choppers from scraping your boyfriendís wang while giving him head, wrap your lips around those puppies as if your mouth were caving in, granny-style. Doing this will not only protect your honey (and perhaps your sex life), it will help to create a greater amount of suction (and therefore pleasurable pressure) because the seal of your lips will be tighter around his johnson. Go ahead, try it on your finger. Make a gasket with your lips like normal (teeth out) and move up and down. The motion creates natural suction. Now wrap those lips around your teeth and move up and down. See how much tighter it feels? There you have it.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Sling Shot!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "movie.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "movie.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
BEIJING - A court has ordered a Chinese television production company to pay damages to a man who received more than 3,000 nuisance messages after his mobile phone number was used in a police TV drama. ADVERTISEMENT The court said the Runshi Rongguang Film Production Co. should have made sure the number was not in use before having a villain say it aloud on-screen, China's official Xinhua News Agency reported. The company was ordered to pay $256 to the mobile phone customer, Chen Bing. Chen, 39, says he started receiving a stream of text messages in July 2004. "It was so annoying, and for a long time I wondered why I was getting all these text messages," he said. Chen discovered that his number had been used in a TV series called "Chinese Police ó September Storm," broadcast between 2004-06 and later released on DVD. A villain spoke the number slowly, to allow another character to write it down. The company said it made up the number from a staff member's birthday and did not mean to cause trouble, according to Xinhua.
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"What a douche!"-Pete
Runners-up
"For those "not so fresh" feelings."-Big John
"wait until i'll squirt"-Hanz
"I Found Nemo!!!"-zach



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