For The Week Of 01/19/2003
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A married couple is driving down the interstate at 55 mph with the husband behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce.” The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then says, “I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it, because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a better lover than you.” Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his hands on the wheels. She says, “I want the house.” Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph. She says, “I want the kids too.” The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, until he's up to 80 mph. She says, “I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too.” The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, “Is there anything you want?” The husband says, “No, I’ve got everything I need right here.“ She asks, “What’s that?” The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, “I’ve got the airbag.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Mentally Ill Job Resume -Hilarious Paranoia!
Mary Kate Or Ashley -Which One Is For You!
Acid Trip! -Pretty Cool!
Vixen Love -Aol Fembot Tricking Dudes On Aol!
Sex Diet -Great Joke!
Koffie Man -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Street Parking!
Want to create your own first-out quickie parking space in front of the dry cleaner/video store/blood bank, while evading the sticky clutches of nefarious meter maids? All you need is a professional-looking, laminated white sign with the words ON DELIVERY emblazoned in bold red letters. You could make it yourself with the right computer software, but best to consult a professional in important cases such as these. Feel free to add some official-looking logos, authorizing agencies, or racing stripes. When you need to park in a no-no zone for whatever reason—buying some milk, sperm bank deposit—pop the sign on your dashboard and go about your business. The parking cops will most likely notice the sign and disregard your illegal park job, assuming you’ll be returning to your vehicle soon. This works best on vehicles that fit the part, so resist trying it with your new Fiat.
contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Jack
My girlfriend started a conversation that led to a fight. She asked me if I thought other women are sexy. I said "Kind of," then reminded her how pretty and sexy she is. But she pushes it, asking if any women are SEXIER than she is. I say NO, and she called me a LIAR. And that's when we started fighting... Do you think this was childish of her? Or did I make a mistake by being truthful?

A:
Women will sometimes start fights as a means of testing your feelings. It took me ages to realise that I did this myself. Her asking you this question was a childish way of trying to boost her own self-esteem, or of giving her an excuse to bitch about you to her friends. You didn't make a mistake, but I'd recommend you talk to her about it. Tell her that you'll give her whatever she needs, but she needs to ASK FOR IT instead of starting a fight as a means of gauging how you feel. Encourage her to be direct. That way, both of you will win.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Wrestling Is Real!
 
 

to view clip: right click flash and choose "save target as" option. save the file "wrestle.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "wrestle.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
JERUSALEM - Psychic Uri Geller defended his friend Michael Jackson (news) on Sunday, saying the pop singer denied under hypnosis three years ago that he had sexually abused children. Geller, best known for his claimed telekinetic ability to bend spoons, told Israel's Army Radio that he hypnotized Jackson when the two were alone in a recording studio at an undisclosed location. The hypnosis would have taken place before Jackson is alleged to have molested a cancer-stricken boy invited to his Neverland Ranch. "I told him that that if he would let me, I would hypnotize him," Geller told the radio. "He said, 'Okay, let's give it a try.'" He said he asked Jackson about persistent rumors that he had abused children. "He answered me under deep hypnosis that he had never touched a child in a sexual way," Geller said. "He said — and here I'm using his exact words — 'My relations with children are very beautiful.'" Geller said he was convinced Jackson was telling him the truth. "I'm a good hypnotist, and I know who is trying to mislead me ... " he said. "I can see straight into the subject's eyes ... (Jackson) didn't fool me, I'm absolutely sure of it." Geller said he did not seek Jackson's permission to ask about the abuse allegations during the hypnosis, but that he posed the question because he was about to introduce Jackson to his family and wanted to be sure the singer was innocent. Geller was born and raised in Israel and has lived in Europe since 1972. Jackson faces seven counts alleging lewd or lascivious acts upon a child under 14 and two counts of administering an intoxicating agent. He has pleaded innocent.
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Mom, look what followed me home. Can we keep him?"-Rick
Runners-up
"Over the shoulder booty holder."-Dennis
"Who’s the BITCH now??!"-Mike



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