|JOKE OF THE
A married couple is driving down the
interstate at 55 mph with the husband behind the wheel. His wife
looks over at him and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 15
years, but, I want a divorce.” The husband says nothing but slowly
increases speed to 60 mph. She then says, “I don’t want you to try
to talk me out of it, because I’ve been having an affair with your
best friend, and he's a better lover than you.” Again the husband
stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his hands on the
wheels. She says, “I want the house.” Again the husband speeds up,
and now is doing 70 mph. She says, “I want the kids too.” The
husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, until he's up to 80
mph. She says, “I want the car, the checking account, and all the
credit cards too.” The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge
overpass piling, as she says, “Is there anything you want?” The
husband says, “No, I’ve got everything I need right here.“ She asks,
“What’s that?” The husband replies just before they hit the wall at
90 mph, “I’ve got the airbag.”
|SITES OF THE
|Mentally Ill Job
Resume -Hilarious Paranoia!
|Mary Kate Or Ashley
-Which One Is For You! |
-Pretty Cool! |
|Vixen Love -Aol
Fembot Tricking Dudes On Aol!
|Sex Diet -Great
|Koffie Man -Game
Of The Week! |
|Tip and Trick of
the Week |
|Want to create your own
first-out quickie parking space in front of the dry cleaner/video
store/blood bank, while evading the sticky clutches of nefarious
meter maids? All you need is a professional-looking, laminated white
sign with the words ON DELIVERY emblazoned in bold red letters. You
could make it yourself with the right computer software, but best to
consult a professional in important cases such as these. Feel free
to add some official-looking logos, authorizing agencies, or racing
stripes. When you need to park in a no-no zone for whatever
reason—buying some milk, sperm bank deposit—pop the sign on your
dashboard and go about your business. The parking cops will most
likely notice the sign and disregard your illegal park job, assuming
you’ll be returning to your vehicle soon. This works best on
vehicles that fit the part, so resist trying it with your new Fiat.
contributions or suggestions to mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
Q: submited by Jack
girlfriend started a conversation that led to a fight. She asked me
if I thought other women are sexy. I said "Kind of," then reminded
her how pretty and sexy she is. But she pushes it, asking if any
women are SEXIER than she is. I say NO, and she called me a LIAR.
And that's when we started fighting... Do you think this was
childish of her? Or did I make a mistake by being truthful?
sometimes start fights as a means of testing your feelings. It took
me ages to realise that I did this myself. Her asking you this
question was a childish way of trying to boost her own self-esteem,
or of giving her an excuse to bitch about you to her friends. You
didn't make a mistake, but I'd recommend you talk to her about it.
Tell her that you'll give her whatever she needs, but she needs to
ASK FOR IT instead of starting a fight as a means of gauging how you
feel. Encourage her to be direct. That way, both of you will win.
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you
a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or
sent in by you guys.
to view clip: right click flash and
choose "save target as" option. save the file "wrestle.mpg" to your
desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "wrestle.mpg"
icon on your desktop to watch the movie.
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:email@example.com?subject=stimes_video.
|JERUSALEM - Psychic Uri
Geller defended his friend Michael Jackson (news) on Sunday,
saying the pop singer denied under hypnosis three years ago
that he had sexually abused children. Geller, best known for
his claimed telekinetic ability to bend spoons, told Israel's
Army Radio that he hypnotized Jackson when the two were alone
in a recording studio at an undisclosed location. The hypnosis
would have taken place before Jackson is alleged to have
molested a cancer-stricken boy invited to his Neverland Ranch.
"I told him that that if he would let me, I would hypnotize
him," Geller told the radio. "He said, 'Okay, let's give it a
try.'" He said he asked Jackson about persistent rumors that
he had abused children. "He answered me under deep hypnosis
that he had never touched a child in a sexual way," Geller
said. "He said — and here I'm using his exact words — 'My
relations with children are very beautiful.'" Geller said he
was convinced Jackson was telling him the truth. "I'm a good
hypnotist, and I know who is trying to mislead me ... " he
said. "I can see straight into the subject's eyes ...
(Jackson) didn't fool me, I'm absolutely sure of it." Geller
said he did not seek Jackson's permission to ask about the
abuse allegations during the hypnosis, but that he posed the
question because he was about to introduce Jackson to his
family and wanted to be sure the singer was innocent. Geller
was born and raised in Israel and has lived in Europe since
1972. Jackson faces seven counts alleging lewd or lascivious
acts upon a child under 14 and two counts of administering an
intoxicating agent. He has pleaded innocent.
CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!
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make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits
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"Mom, look what followed me
home. Can we keep him?"-Rick
shoulder booty holder."-Dennis
"Who’s the BITCH
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