For The Week Of 01/19/2015
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo. After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.

SITES OF THE WEEK
Netflix's Best -Horror Films
The No Pants -Work Commute
Fireworks Under -Frozen Lake
Slippery Babes -Slick Surfaces
Creepy Letters -From Serial Killers
Break the Limits -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
Hovernote Makes it Easy to Take Notes Without Closing Apps

Android: Hovernote makes it easy to take notes on your Android phone without closing the app you're already using. Just open the app to take a quick note, then save and close it when you're done.

Hovernote's icon floats on the screen in all apps. When you're ready to make a note, tap it to open a new note, even if you're in another application. When you're done, hit the minimize button & you'll go back to what you were doing. Hit the menu button to save the note to a folder or share it to other apps like Evernote or email.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by C37

"So, my and my girlfiend have been dating for 3 years now and are extreamly intimate. We absolutely love each other and love pleasing each other. Of course we have been through the normal up's and down's of a relationship, but we relate so well to each other that its practically a perfect match. Recently (developed over the past 3-4 months) we have been having conversations about allowing each other to experience a sexual encounter with someone else...but the thing is I'm not positive I totally want this. We guarateed eachother that if this happened, it would be with only one person each and that would be it. Well, since I have pretty much verbally agreed, she is going to follow through, even though I'm not. She has found a guy and recently admitted to me she's been sneaking behind my back and occasinally texting him at night and snap chatting him as well. I reassure myself that it will only be once, and she reidderates that she strickly loves me and it would simply be for just fun, but should I at all be worried? I guess the only thing that worries me is how quickly she found a guy to do it with (took her about 1 day to find and text the guy, whom she has class with). I think I can be fine with the sex, considering I have somewhat of a history as does she and I truly do love her but should I worry that this will happen again? or she will want to do it again? or that next time she wont ask for my consent?"

A:

"Yeah, I think you may want to be worried some, because she may wanna do it more if she likes the encounter a lot, something that I think may be better is possibly either a threesome or foursome, that way you can say, to her, if you think it's getting to much, that you'd like her to stop and this way, you'd get another experience also."

-Tanner

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Toilet Nightmare


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
ENGLAND -- Here's a general rule worth sticking to. When you call the emergency services, it's best to tell them about something that has actually occurred or is actually occurring. In real life, that is. I only offer this menial reminder because of the tale of David Helens. Helens is a 25-year-old Englishman who seems to enjoy playing Grand Theft Auto. This is understandable. A lot of 25-year-old Englishmen are like that. What is less understandable, however, is why he called 999 (the British equivalent of 911) and reported a shooting. This shooting, you see, was only happening inside the Grand Theft Auto world, rather than outside in the big wide one. As the Mirror reports it, Helens told the 999 dispatcher that his friend Max had been shot in the chest and was bleeding badly. This was nonsense to the max. But Helens went on for 12 minutes describing the horror, which became worse when he himself began to scream. He claimed to be himself in the throes of an attack by an unknown assailant. The dispatcher sent two ambulances to Helens' house. What the ambulance personnel found was zero dead bodies, zero injuries and one apparent nincompoop.

The action occurred on November 8. However, in court proceedings last week Helens pleaded guilty and received a 12-month community order. He must perform 120 hours work, unpaid, and will be supervised as to his behavior for 18 months. Helens' lawyer reportedly explained that her client had been "confused." She said: "It would appear that the phone call made to the emergency services coincided with him playing a violent shooting game on his computer." She added: "He tells me that he has very little recollection of the phone call." The "I don't recall" defense has been used by the pettiest of combatants to Ronald Reagan.

All too often, it's even less convincing than a video game.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION--GET FREE STUFF!

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This Weeks



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Winner
"I know it's redundant, but can I get a lift buddy?"-Jon

Runner-up
"First-class American engineering at work."-Richard



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