For The Week Of 01/20/2003
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
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A man goes to his doctor and says, “I don’t think my wife’s hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?” The doctor replies, “Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn’t respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you.” The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, “What’s for dinner, honey?” He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again. Still no response, so he moves to five feet. Again, no answer. Finally he stands directly behind her and says, “Honey, what’s for supper?” She screams, “For the fourth time, I said chicken, you deaf bastard!”

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Tip and Trick of the Week

You get charged six ways to Sunday when you use other banks’ ATMs: the machine’s bank charges you, your bank charges you—when they figure out a way to do it, AOL-Time Warner will charge you, too. Instead of paying these ungodly usage fees, go to a supermarket and purchase something cheap, using your debit card. When the cashier asks whether you’d like cash back, simply request the amount (usually up to $80 or $100) you would have otherwise withdrawn from the ATM. Your usage fee should cost nothing more than a pack of Smints.
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Q: submitted by Mike

I have a strange situation. I can get an erection with no problem when my wife sucks me, but not when she strokes me by hand. Is this erectile dysfunction? Should I take Viagra? I'm 41 and in good health, except for athletic injuries.

No, this isn't erectile dysfunction because you CAN raise erections during oral sex. Erection requires relaxation and an erotic focus. Oral sex clearly provides enough erotic focus for you because you can raise erections that way. Meanwhile, way back when this problem began, apparently, hand massage of your penis did not. Perhaps that stimulation wasn't intense enough or erotic enough for you. Perhaps it was just a bad night. In any event, now you've become stressed, convinced that hand massage won't work--so it doesn't. My suggestions: If you'd like to try Viagra as a confidence builder, feel free. It may well help. The usual dose is 50 mg, but you don't have a global erection problem. You have a very specific situational problem, so you might begin by cutting the pills in half and taking 25 mg. Whether or not you use Viagra, I would also suggest consciously relaxing about your situation. You CAN raise erections. You just have a little glitch when it comes to how. To relax, I would suggest a hot shower before sex, leisurely foreplay, deep breathing and a focus on your most erotic fantasies. Don't "try" to think yourself erect. Just get into some fantasies, breathe deeply, encourage your wife to provide pleasure and fantasize. Try what sex therapists call "generalizing." You can raise an erection during oral sex. Great. Ask your wife to get you up that way. Then have her back off the oral and stroke you by hand for a while. If you begin to subside, don't freak out. Waxing and waning of erections is NORMAL in men your age. Just relax and ask her to do you orally again until you return to erection. Then ask her to switch back to hand massage again. Over time, you may be able to generalize your oral erections to hand-based erections. If these suggestions don't provide sufficient relief, then I would suggest consulting a sex therapist. To find a sex therapist near you, contact either or both of these organizations: The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) at (804) 644-3288, or on the Web at, or by e-mail at, or the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex (SSSS), (610) 530-2483, or by e-mail at


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Punta Gorda, Fla., inmate James "Happy" Borland, 41, suffered a near-fatal concussion in December from being roughed up by inmates Lemuel "K-Money" Ware, 32, and Corey Andrews, 32, because Borland had accused Ware of stealing his pet spider and renaming it "Pinky." According to a Florida Department of Law Enforcement report, Borland had demanded his spider back, but Andrews intervened. Ware, who said he had purchased the spider fair and square, felt he had to go after Borland because Pinky (in a small box in Ware's shirt pocket) "told" him to. [Port Charlotte Sun-Herald, 12-19-02; St. Petersburg Times, 1-3-03]

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"Harry Houdini's great granddaughter, Shaved Houdini"-G
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