For The Week Of 1/21/2008
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Three quarterbacks, Peyton Manning, Tony Romo and Tom Brady, go to heaven to visit God to watch the Celtics play a game. God decides who will sit next to him by asking the boys a question... God asks Peyton Manning first: "What do you believe?" Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans." God can't help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat to his left. Then God turns to Tony Romo and says, "What do you believe?" Tony says, "I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I've always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields." God is greatly moved by Tony's sincere eloquence, and he offers him a seat to his right. Finally, God turns to Tom Brady: "And you, Tom, what do you believe?" Tom replies, "I believe you're in my seat."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Sex -Basics!
Horrifying -Bugs!
Vagina -Couch!
Geek Girl -Panties!
Controversial -Board Games!
Curve Ball!-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How To Be A More Effective Asshole
1. Never respect anyone unless you're sure they could physically beat you up. This includes your own mother, police officers, teachers, the president, your boss and the Pope. 2. Criticize everything, no matter how mundane or pointless it may be. Example: "These fries aren't very fucking crispy!" 3. Always cut people off, whether youíre talking, driving, or having sex. 4. Flick cigarette butts at everythingóall the time. Even if you don't smoke. 5. Call everyone you meet by the nickname "Chief." (Always roll your eyes when you say it.) Example: "Yeah, right, whatever you say Chief!" (ROLLS EYES) For extra emphasis, roll your eyes, say "Chief" and flick a cigarette butt at the same time. 6. Always precede the word "man" with either "little," "Mr.," or "old." Examples: "I donít think you needed that skateboard Little Man, and thatís why I backed over it with my Camaro." "So, Old Man, why donít you get up out of that wheelchair and MAKE ME!?" "No, I donít have my license and registration, Mr. Man." (Notice: This is especially useful when speaking to someone you know can not beat you up.) 7. Noogie every small child you meet until they cry--including newborn babies.
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ASK TINA

Q: submited by Tommy
I'm a month away from turning 28 and Iím still a virgin in every sense of the word. The most I've ever done is made out and even that was a decade ago. I never had intercourse and have never given or received oral sex. Is it too late to lose my virginity or even meet that special someone?

A:
For as long as youíve got the hardware, the odds of losing your virginity are in your favor. In fact, some women might even find it charming that you donít have an extended roster of women under you belt -- a very difficult thing to find nowadays. While it may be embarrassing to first approach the subject with a potential new mate, rest assured that her reaction will probably be one of surprise and understanding instead of ridicule. What you should focus more on, however, is the reason why you havenít been intimate with a woman in a decade. An issue of confidence might play a role, and is perhaps something that should be explored further through the help of a professional. Through exploring the avenue, youíll get the tools needed to approach women, build your self-image and move your relationships to the next level of intimacy.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Fat Kid Guitar Hero!

 
 

Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Robber on probation can keep $1M jackpot
By MATT PITTA, Associated Press Writer
Fri Jan 18, 1:17 PM ET
BARNSTABLE, Mass. - The luck keeps rolling for a convicted bank robber who won a $1 million lottery prize: Though he violated his probation by buying the ticket, a judge says he can keep the money. A lawyer for Timothy Elliott, 55, called the violation minor, and the Massachusetts lottery commission previously has said there was no basis for withdrawing the prize. Barnstable Superior Court Judge Richard Connon on Friday approved the probation department's agreement that he could keep the winnings. The only change is that Elliott now must pay a monthly $65 probation supervisory fee, previously waived because he had been indigent. Elliott declined to comment Friday. He lives in Bourne under the supervision of the Department of Mental Health. Probation department spokeswoman Coria Holland would not comment further on the case. In October 2006, Elliott pleaded guilty to unarmed robbery for a heist at a bank on Cape Cod and was placed on five years' probation. The terms required him to not "gamble, purchase lottery tickets or visit an establishment where gaming is conducted ..." The jackpot was won on $10 ticket for the "$800 Million Spectacular" game that Elliott bought at a supermarket in Hyannis. He already has received the first of 20 annual $50,000 checks from the lottery commission.
 
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