For The Week Of 01/22/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Don't laugh!" said the patient, Ed. "Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient." "Okay then," Ed said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest penis the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery. Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure. "I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now...what seems to be the problem?" "It's swollen," Ed replied.

SITES OF THE WEEK
Eat -For 30 Dollars Per Month!
Things My Boyfriend Says -Hilarious!
Niagara Falls -Exploring
Running From Camera -Art
Ninja style-Japanese Competition
Double Maze-Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Movie Theatre!
Want to see the latest piece of shit from Hollywood gratis? Here’s the deal: Just call a theatre near you, and ask to speak to the manager. Tell him/her that your most recent bank statement indicates that the pimply faced chimp at the box office double-swiped your credit card the last time you and your buddies saw a movie there. Since those dumbasses do it all the time, the manager will willingly comp you movie passes. Nick Philadelphia, PA Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Bored
How can I get my girlfriend out of the same old sex routine? She wants it the same night of the week, same position, same everything, because it saves time in her busy schedule.

A:

Dear Rog, This is actually a pretty common problem. When you guys get very, em, busy, you want sex because it relaxes you. Unfortunately, that’s not often the case with women. Stress is the number one way to put the kibosh on a woman’s sex drive. Lucky for you, she hasn’t lost it all together. She’s just making it a snore. Here’s what you do: # First, make sure she’s not actually a mandroid. Listen to her stomach for the grinding of gears. Or next time you give her the finger, make sure she’s not made of metal on the inside. If you’ve got an actual human on your hands, you might just be able to work with her. # Get her to relax. If she’s so busy, help reduce the things she’s gotta do. Cook (or order) dinner on the appointed nookie night. Or convince her to take a wee break and park her in front of a funny movie, preferably with some booze. (If she’s a real workoholic, park her there with the food you ordered, and watch while you eat. At least she’ll feel like she’s multitasking.) The less stressed she feels, the more willing she may be to try something different. # Shake up her routine. Don’t wreck her carefully planned world, but do encourage her to change it up a bit. Plan something fun on one of your off nights; make it a surprise, even. Warn her in advance so she’ll have time to plan and rearrange her schedule (this is called being supportive, guys), and then show her an awesome time. Remember, laughing and liquor are always good elements. Apply liberally. The trick is to get her to see that she can still get done what she needs to get done, but she can be a little more spontaneous about it. Eventually, it should catch on.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Ghost Riding
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "movie.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "movie.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
BETHLEHEM, Pa. (AP) - An elderly man who wrote in a letter to the editor about Saddam Hussein's execution that "they hanged the wrong man" got a visit from Secret Service agents concerned he was threatening President Bush. The letter by Dan Tilli, 81, was published in Monday's edition of The Express-Times of Easton, Pa. It ended with the line, "I still believe they hanged the wrong man." Tilli said the statement was not a threat. "I didn't say who - I could've meant (Osama) bin Laden," he said Friday. Two Secret Service agents questioned Tilli at his Bethlehem apartment Thursday, briefly searching the place and taking pictures of him, he said. The Secret Service confirmed the encounter. Bob Slama, special agent in charge of the Secret Service's Philadelphia office, said it was the agency's duty to investigate. The agents almost immediately decided Tilli was not a threat, Slama said "We have no further interest in Dan," he said. Tilli said the agents appeared more relaxed when he dug out a scrapbook containing more than 200 letters that he has written over the years, almost all on political topics. "He said, 'Keep writing, but just don't make no threats,'" Tilli said of one of the agents. It wasn't Tilli's first run-in with the federal government over his letter writing. Two FBI agents from Allentown showed up at his home last year about a letter he wrote advocating a civil war to unseat Bush, he said.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"William Hung's cousin"-Brundle
Runners-up
"It’s amazing what a little airbrushing can accomplish."-Jeff
"Yea, but can he cook."-RS
ROLLING STONES idea of a gay "double vision"-HB



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