For The Week Of 01/23/2012
Happy with all the porn you are taking off Sublime… time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Two weeks ago was my 44th birthday and I wasn`t feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and probably have a present for me. As it turned out, she didn`t even say good morning, let alone any happy birthday. I thought, well, thats wives for you, the children will remember...The children came in to breakfast and didn`t say a word. So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.. As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good morning, Boss, Happy Birthday". And I felt a little better that someone had remembered. I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, its such a beautiful day outside, and its your birthday, let`s go to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thats the greatest thing Ive heard all day, lets go!"

We went to lunch we didn`t go where we normally go; instead we went out to a private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, its such a beautiful day, we don`t need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Lets go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you dont mind, I think I`ll go into the bedroom. "Sure!" I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake...followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.

And I just sat there...on the couch...naked.

SITES OF THE WEEK
Cooking -With Skrillex!
Deniro Faces -On Facebook!
Drunk -Ron Swanson!
Abandoned -Love Hotels!
Mapstalgia -Video Game Maps!
Musaic Box -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
iBoostUp Cleans Out Your Macs File Clutter in a Minute

Mac OS X: iBoostUp cleans out the crap on your drive and fine-tunes your system for better performance. It's simple, it's quick, and it's free. iBoostUp's interface is pretty simple and straightforward. (You can see a quick look at the app in action in the video above.) You're initially brought to a status page that gives you a system overview plus a look at which scans you've run and when. You can click on any of the scans to run them, or access additional options via the sidebar on the left. The Quick Scan option is what will interest most people, as it can save a good chunk of hard disk space in about a minute. It will clear browser cookies, however, which you may not want to delete. You can tell iBoostUp to leave the cookies (or anything else) alone if you want, of course. Your other primary options include Disk Optimizer, which seems to be about the same as running a permissions repair in Disk Utility, and Network Optimizer, which will test your network response times and recommend how you can improve them (if possible). Overall, the app just handles a few maintenance tasks, but it's a lot faster and simpler than tune-up behemoths like Onyx.

If you want something a little less complicated that can speed and clean up your Mac in a minute or two, iBoostUp is worth a look.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submitted by Constantine

Lately, I have noticed an issue I'm having... When I'm bored, I immediately find myself feeling very, very horny. In a sense, I constantly feel stimulated, and equally feel like I'm getting no release. I can have sex, masturbate, and I still feel like I'm at this teased state of arousal... Like I could be ready for sex at the drop of a hat. Honestly, this is driving me nuts. I've been this way a month or more now, with no end in sight. Any insight here?

A:
Welcome to being an adult male dude. Nothing to worry about.
Wait a few years and the "fevers" will pass. In the meantime, find a girl that can keep up.

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Insane Train Stunt


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
ALLENTOWN, PA -- A 24-year-old man accidentally shot himself in the leg Tuesday afternoon after initially telling Allentown police he was shot by an unknown assailant, police said.

Rakiel Rodriguez, of Allentown, walked into Sacred Heart Hospital around 1:30 p.m. with a gunshot wound to his leg, Captain Keith Morris said. Rodriguez initially told police that was getting out of his car in the 500 block of Liberty Street when he heard a shot ring out and he was struck, Morris said. He said he flagged someone down and was taken to the hospital. His wounds are not considered life-threatening.

Rodriguez told police he shot himself, Morris said. Police are still investigating the case and no charges have been filed.
 
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Winner
"Weirdest one-man bachelor party ever." -Samson

Runner-up
"Taking part in a traveling strip circus was a bad idea." -Thom



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