For The Week Of 01/24/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to Please give us feedback too!


The residents of a southern town keep falling down a deep hole in the middle of the sidewalk on Main Street and always end up dying because the nearest hospital is 40 miles away. The mayor calls a town meeting to address the issue and asks for suggestions. “We need our own hospital!” says one local. “That’s beyond our budget,” answers the mayor. “Anyone else?” “I gots a perfect idea,” says another hick. “Just dig the hole next to the hospital.”

Lemmiwinks -Hilarious!
Personal Ads -Sad But Funny!
Digibless -This Cannot Be Real!
Liars -Spot Them
Jet Engines -Informative
Sherlock Holmes -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
For the cattle car airlines, where you seat yourself according to boarding pass number, instead of assigned seating (e.g., Southwest Airlines): While at the bar before boarding your flight, dip the corner of a napkin in your drink (beer works well, a Bloody Mary even better). Unfolding the napkin as you walk onto the plane, place it on the seat next to you as you sit down. Now, close your eyes and suppress a smirk as the fellow cattle on your flight stop and see the open seat next to yours, as well as the apparent urine (or blood) stain that is apparently soaking into the napkin, and continue their journey towards the increasingly dismal ass end of the plane. Now you’ve nobody to fight with for the armrest, or, at least, you can be more selective on who shares the armrest.

Q: submited by Rich
Okay, be honest: How much do a man's looks really matter to women?

The short answer: Not as much as you might think, really. The next time you're out amongst a bunch of couples, take a good look at who's dating whom. I bet you'll see plenty of beautiful women with men no one would call handsome even on their best hair day. That's because we're a lot more concerned with whether or not a man is smart, funny, trustworthy, and sweet than if he could pass for a Tommy Hilfiger model. Of course, when we're out on the prowl, the best-looking men catch our eyes the fastest, but that's attraction in its most superficial, fleeting form. And even then, the average-looking guy who makes us laugh, has something intelligent to say, and shows just the right amount of interest without being pushy is the one we'd rather talk to.


This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Don't Piss Off The Boss

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MEMPHIS, Tenn. - State Sen. John Ford testified in a juvenile court hearing that he keeps two homes, living with two different women whose children he fathered. Ford's testimony was part of his defense in a child support case. The Memphis Democrat heads a Senate committee that guides the state's child welfare policies, and for the past year he's tried to make use of a law he authored that keeps court-ordered support lower when a father is financially responsible for other children. In a Juvenile Court hearing last year that is set for a follow-up hearing on Tuesday, Ford said he lives some days with ex-wife Tamara Mitchell-Ford and the three children they had together. On others, he stays with his longtime girlfriend, Connie Mathews, and their two children. Ford and Mitchell-Ford went through a bitter divorce in 2002 that led to Mitchell-Ford's jailing after she plowed her car through Mathews' Collierville home. Ford said he pays nearly all bills for both families. They stay in houses he owns and where he also lives, though neither home is in his South Memphis Senate district. "You have two homes?" Referee Felicia Hogan asks during the tape recorded hearing from November. "Well, that's unusual." "Not necessarily," Ford shot back. "I know people who got five." Hogan responded: "For child support purposes that's unusual, let me put it that way then." Ford is battling a suit by a third woman, Dana Smith, who is trying to increase his court-ordered support of a 10-year-old girl he fathered. Smith, a former employee under Ford when he was General Sessions Clerk, won a 1996 sexual harassment verdict against him. Ford contends that any increase for Smith should be tempered by his financial obligations to his other five minor children. None of those children is subject to child support orders. In the hearing, Ford argued all five children live in his household — a household that encompasses two homes — and because of that he is exempt from rules requiring strict proof of his financial support of them. Hogan rejected Ford's request, saying he must produce evidence of bills paid if he wants credit to lessen any modification of Smith's child support. Mitchell-Ford told The Commercial Appeal newspaper last week said she can verify at least some of Ford's contentions. She said she is six months pregnant, and the father, she said, is John Ford, now 62. "John is over here every single day, if not staying here," she said. Ford did not respond to messages left at his Nashville and Memphis offices. Mathews could not be reached. Ford's comments were part of a hearing more than two years after Smith first petitioned Juvenile Court to increase the senator's $500-a-month support. Ford's income has risen dramatically in recent years. Evidence presented in the hearing showed Ford's gross income reached $356,899 in 2003 and $255,752 in 2002. Ford said most of that comes from his private insurance and real estate consulting business, though specific sources remain a secret. At Ford's request, Hogan ordered state's attorney Joseph Little to keep confidential receipts and documented expenses Ford was ordered to hand over. Disclosure "would expose all of my business interests and everything. It would put me in imminent danger of a lot of different things I don't want to explain in here," Ford told the court.

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