For The Week Of 01/25/2010
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Anna said she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, “Mum! I have someone for you to meet.” Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend away. Their first night there, she undressed as he did. There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in his birthday suit. Looking her over, he asked, “Why the black panties?” She replied, “My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I'm still in mourning.” He knew he was not getting lucky that night. The following night was the same: she stood there wearing the black panties, and he was in his birthday suit--but now he was wearing a black condom. She looked at him and asked, “What’s with the black condom?” He replied, “I want to offer my deepest condolences.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
30 Second -Rule.
Sitcom -Babes!
The Real Ecort -Diaries!
I Knew Wiki Was -Good For Something!
Top 10 Movie -Losers!
Tiger Woods Outrun -Game of the Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How To Get Your Girlfriend Back!
Tip #1: Play it cool. Act like you are okay with her decision to leave. Don't behave like a pathetic, blubbering mess of desperation. Be the person she wants to be with. Tip #2: Live your life. When she sees that the grass is greener on your side of the fence, she will want to return to you. Tip #3: Ignore her, but not completely. Don't answer the phone on the first ring if she calls, and try to seem like you are busy if she suggests meeting. Don't let on if you are moping around the house for her to love you again. Tip #4: See other people. Jealousy is a powerful emotion. Once she sees you with other girls, she may start feeling territorial. Tip #5: If you run into her at a party, act casual. Smile a lot (but don't seem smug). Make her laugh. Remind her of the person she used to want to be with. Don't act like an ex. Act like an old flame she never should have left. Tip #6: Woo her--that is, if the casual act isn't speeding things along quickly and you've already made some headway. If you know she's a sucker for romance, wait until the time is right and begin showering her with gifts and attention. Be creative, not clingy. Only begin Operation Woo Her Back once you have your foot in the door. Don't go straight from violent breakup to guitar strumming outside her window. Tip #7: Maintain contact with your mutual friends. That way, when she asks them, "How is doing?" they'll be able to say, "Oh, he's great. We hang out sometimes, and he's tons of fun. Why did you ever leave him?" Tip #8: The key is to be visibly cool. You may be dying inside, but be suave on the outside. Tip #9: If she left you for a good reason, show her that you have changed. Don't tell her you have changed; demonstrate how you are different. Tip #10: Give her some time. You may feel like you have to get her back right this instant, but you'll be surprised how absence makes the heart grow fonder. Do not call her when you are drunk in the middle of the night and bawling your eyes out. Don't go to her door and throw yourself on your knees. Don't write her long, serious letters. That's a huge downer. She's not going to date you out of pity, and she does not want to be with a broken man. Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by: Tony

Ok so me and my gf have been doing what seems like the same thing in bed everytime we have sex. Such as, the lights go off first, then the clothes, then somtimes we do oral (she has gag reflex's though so she cant deep throat), and we have been using the same 3 positions for sex for what seems like forever. Either the typical me on top, her on top or its doggy style. Though we both seem to enjoy this, I want to surprise her and do something to spice things up a little. Somthing that we both would enjoy and somthing thats different. What can I do?

A:
Dear Tony, Its always nice to spice things up with your chick. If you read the sublime times, Ive put up a wiki for different sexual positions up on the sites of the week that you can reference. The most common positions in any relationship are the ones you've mentioned. Don't worry, everyone uses those all the time. I myself prefer to be on bottom with legs up. It allows for my parter to penetrate me deeper. Also try having sex in different parts of your residence if you can. Try the backyard! Make sure of course theres privacy there and no children running around of course. You dont want to go to jail for being obscene. Good Luck Babe!

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


PSA: Don't Be A Douchebag!
 
 

Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
DENVER -- A United Airlines flight from Washington D.C. to Las Vegas made an emergency stop in Denver on Saturday evening after a man onboard reportedly tried to open an exterior door while in flight. FBI spokeswoman Kathy Wright said theman was taken into custody, questioned and released for a medical evaluation, she said. "At this point, there are no indications that this is anything other than an unruly passenger," Wright said. Authorities will decide on charges after reviewing the incident, according to Wright. Jeff Green, spokesman for DIA, said United Flight 223 landed at around 5:10 p.m. at the airport after the pilot radioed that there was a disturbance onboard. Suzanne Treviño, spokeswoman for TSA, said pilots made the request to divert to DIA at around 4:50 p.m. She added that a male passenger attempted to open the door of the plane while it was in flight. Wright said said the man tried opening one of the front doors of the airplane and may have tried to open the cockpit door before passengers restrained him. Wright said the man's last known address was in New York. Passengers told Las Vegas television station KTNV-TV after the plane landed that the man said he was from California and was on the wrong plane. Wright said authorities will review the incident and decide what charges to file. A passenger, Casey Coleman, told 7News that flight attendants directed all of the females to the back of the plane and all of the males to the front. Coleman said a flight attendant ordered over the intercom for the men to hold down the passenger. Denver Police spokesman John White said officers met the plane at a gate at DIA and took the man into custody. White said the man could face federal felony charges.
 
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