For The Week Of 01/29/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper Sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Phone Sex Pranks -Hilarious
Sweep The Leg Johnny -Great Music Video!
Super Poo Catcher -Get Your Dog One
Shrill Shark -Crazy
SD-Loves Goats
Deflector-Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Stay Healthy!
Two minutes in a microwave oven can sterilize most household sponges, U.S. researchers reported on Monday. A team of engineering researchers at the University of Florida found that two minutes of microwaving on full power killed or inactivated more than 99 percent of bacteria, viruses or parasites, as well as spores, on a kitchen sponge. "People often put their sponges and scrubbers in the dishwasher, but if they really want to decontaminate them and not just clean them, they should use the microwave," said Gabriel Bitton, a professor of environmental engineering who led the study. Writing in the Journal of Environmental Health, Bitton and colleagues said they soaked sponges and scrubbing pads in raw wastewater containing fecal bacteria such as E. coli, viruses, protozoan parasites and bacterial spores. Then they used a common household microwave oven to heat up the sponges. It took four to 10 minutes to kill all the spores but everything else was killed after two, they said. "The microwave is a very powerful and an inexpensive tool for sterilization," Bitton said. At least 76 million Americans get sick from food borne microbes every year, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and 5,000 people die from them. Kitchens are a common source of these illnesses. Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Playing nymph
I can't seem to orgasm during sex or foreplay with a partner—only through masturbation. What can I do?

A:

The fact that you can have an orgasm during masturbation is a good sign. It rules out any medical problems and means that you should be capable of climaxing with a partner. It may be easier to orgasm during masturbation because you have complete control and can stimulate your most sensitive area, most commonly the clitoris, for as long as is necessary to reach orgasm. You can also focus on only your pleasure without the distraction of another person. When a partner is involved, you may be so worried—even unconsciously—about his enjoyment, whether you are "doing it right" and whether you will finally reach orgasm that performance anxiety will make it almost impossible to actually climax. Ironically, the best way to orgasm may be to think about it less. Focus more on the pleasurable sensations that you are feeling. Spend lots of time on foreplay, and feel free to stimulate your clitoris yourself during intercourse. Also, show your partner how you like to be stroked and stimulated and choose positions that allow you more control, like the woman-on-top position. The more comfortable and relaxed you become, the easier it should be to reach orgasm with a partner.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Marcel the French Rapper
 
 




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A drunk Toronto man who spent five freezing hours in a stranger’s chimney Thursday morning was simply trying to enter the home after no one answered his knocks at the front door, police say. The 35-year-old man left his friend’s Muskoka Lakes cottage in the middle of the night to “relieve himself,” Ontario Provincial Police said. Stumbling back through the dark, he unknowingly ended up at an empty neighbouring cottage. Imagine his surprise, then, when he found the door locked and no one answering his knocks. “Upset and determined to get in, he climbed onto the roof and slid down the chimney, the wrong chimney,” Bracebridge OPP said. On his way down, the inebriated man became stuck at the bottom of the chimney, where he spent about five hours in freezing conditions before contractors working near the cottage heard his cries for help shortly after 9 a.m. They initially thought someone had fallen into Lake Rousseau, OPP said. “They checked the water, but were surprised to discover the cries were coming from an intoxicated man stuck down the chimney.” After climbing on the roof and finding the victim stuck with his arms above his head, the workers lowered a rope down the flue and managed to pull the freezing man out. This will likely go down in the history books as “one of the strangest occurrences Bracebridge OPP officers, Township of Muskoka Lakes firefighters and paramedics have ever attended,” OPP said. “It’s simply a miracle the victim escaped relatively unscathed without need of medical attention.” Because the man had no criminal intent in entering the home, no charges will be laid, police said.
 
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"......Coming this Spring...... Snakes On Planes 2!!!"-Jeremy
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"uh..honey cancel the Air Jamaica Flight"-Tyler
"Mel Gibson's next film...Not so good."-Rattle
"Ground Control to Major Shlong"-Willy



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