For The Week Of 01/31/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Jerryís at the urinal in an airport restroom when a guy with no arms sidles up next to him and pleads, "Hey, buddyĖcan you help me out here?" Though he feels uneasy, Jerry bravely unzips the man, takes a deep breath, and reaches in to pull out the guyís penis. Much to his horror, itís hideous. Itís moldy and bluish green, covered with pus-filled scabs, and it reeks something awful. Imagining the kudos heíll get on Judgment Day, Jerry holds the manís unit while he finishes urinating, shakes it, then puts it back in the manís pants and zips him up. The guy tells Jerry, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it." "No problem," says Jerry. "But I gotta askóWhat the hellís wrong with your johnson?" The guy pokes his arms back out of his sleeves and says, "I donít know, but I sure as hell ainít touching it."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Pick Up Chicks -Instructions!
The Thought Project -Cool!
Hack A Day -Not Bad!
2004 In The Army -Pictures
Ghost Sites -May They Rest In Peace
Beer Dude -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Retail Locations!
Letís say you want to return your broken digital camera, but youíve lost the receipt. Scrape together enough cash to buy another of the exact same camera, and, once purchased, replace the new camera in the box with the old broken one. Go to the store within a half-hour of buying the new camera, and simply ask for a refund. If they ask why, tell them you changed your mind, or bought the wrong model. Works on just about anything.
ASK TINA

Q: submited by As
Is there a way to convey to my girlfriend that I need some time to myself without making her think I'm unhappy in the relationship? ?

A:
This situation comes up a lot because most women don't crave solitude as much as guys do. Blame it on the feel-good hormone oxytocin, which skyrockets when women hang out with people they love. So keep in mind that the reason she might get upset is because she honestly can't relate, and therefore misinterprets your request as a red flag. To keep the emotional backlash to a bare minimum, reassure her in no uncertain terms that you love her and want to be with her. Then say that being alone once in a while is something you've always needed to get your head around things and rejuvenate. (Saying 'always' will help convince her that this is really about your personality, not the current situation.) Explain that it helps you to be a better boyfriend because it makes you more grounded and focused. These are touchy-feely words, I know, but they have serious drama-defusing powers. Use them, and she might actually encourage you to do your own thing instead of fighting it all the way.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Sky Dive
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "skydive.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "skydive.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Ananova: Tailor-made condoms A Taiwanese company has introduced a new service allowing men to order tailor-made size condoms. SakuNet International makes 55 different sizes of condoms from just three inches long to 9.4 inches, reports Sina News. The company says the most popular condom sold in Taiwan is 4.2 inches long and 1.9 inches in diameter. Company manager Huang Wanting says uncomfortable condoms can easily break or slip, adding to the risk of infection or pregnancy. Men can log onto the company's website and download and print out the length measurement card so they can order the most appropriate condom. Huang says that since they introduced the service, there have been more than 20,000 downloads of the measurement card, and they have sold 5,000 dozens of condoms in different sizes. To avoid embarrassment, the measurement card has no numbers on it to indicate an actual size, but unified serial numbers. The serial number for the largest, (9.5 inches long, 2.5 inches in diameter) is G22, and the smallest (3 inches long, 1.6 inches in diameter) is J33.
 
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"DON KING OF THE JUNGLE?!"-P
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"Class, you will notice the difference between the Asian and African elephant is the African elephant has larger tusk and has more soul"-Bathair
"Big Pimpin'!" -Greg



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