|JOKE OF THE
Jerryís at the urinal in an airport
restroom when a guy with no arms sidles up next to him and pleads,
"Hey, buddyĖcan you help me out here?" Though he feels uneasy, Jerry
bravely unzips the man, takes a deep breath, and reaches in to pull
out the guyís penis. Much to his horror, itís hideous. Itís moldy
and bluish green, covered with pus-filled scabs, and it reeks
something awful. Imagining the kudos heíll get on Judgment Day,
Jerry holds the manís unit while he finishes urinating, shakes it,
then puts it back in the manís pants and zips him up. The guy tells
Jerry, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it." "No problem," says
Jerry. "But I gotta askóWhat the hellís wrong with your johnson?"
The guy pokes his arms back out of his sleeves and says, "I donít
know, but I sure as hell ainít touching it."
|SITES OF THE
|Pick Up Chicks
|The Thought Project -Cool!
|Hack A Day -Not Bad! |
|2004 In The Army
-May They Rest In Peace |
|Beer Dude -Game Of
The Week! |
|Tip and Trick of
the Week |
|Letís say you want to return
your broken digital camera, but youíve lost the receipt. Scrape
together enough cash to buy another of the exact same camera, and,
once purchased, replace the new camera in the box with the old
broken one. Go to the store within a half-hour of buying the new
camera, and simply ask for a refund. If they ask why, tell them you
changed your mind, or bought the wrong model. Works on just about
Q: submited by As
there a way to convey to my girlfriend that I need some time to
myself without making her think I'm unhappy in the relationship? ?
comes up a lot because most women don't crave solitude as much as
guys do. Blame it on the feel-good hormone oxytocin, which
skyrockets when women hang out with people they love. So keep in
mind that the reason she might get upset is because she honestly
can't relate, and therefore misinterprets your request as a red
flag. To keep the emotional backlash to a bare minimum, reassure her
in no uncertain terms that you love her and want to be with her.
Then say that being alone once in a while is something you've always
needed to get your head around things and rejuvenate. (Saying
'always' will help convince her that this is really about your
personality, not the current situation.) Explain that it helps you
to be a better boyfriend because it makes you more grounded and
focused. These are touchy-feely words, I know, but they have serious
drama-defusing powers. Use them, and she might actually encourage
you to do your own thing instead of fighting it all the way.
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you
a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or
sent in by you guys.
to view clip: right click video and
choose "save target as" option. save the file "skydive.wmv" to your
desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "skydive.wmv"
icon on your desktop to watch the movie.
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:email@example.com?subject=stimes_video.
condoms A Taiwanese company has introduced a new service
allowing men to order tailor-made size condoms. SakuNet
International makes 55 different sizes of condoms from just
three inches long to 9.4 inches, reports Sina News. The
company says the most popular condom sold in Taiwan is 4.2
inches long and 1.9 inches in diameter. Company manager Huang
Wanting says uncomfortable condoms can easily break or slip,
adding to the risk of infection or pregnancy. Men can log onto
the company's website and download and print out the length
measurement card so they can order the most appropriate
condom. Huang says that since they introduced the service,
there have been more than 20,000 downloads of the measurement
card, and they have sold 5,000 dozens of condoms in different
sizes. To avoid embarrassment, the measurement card has no
numbers on it to indicate an actual size, but unified serial
numbers. The serial number for the largest, (9.5 inches long,
2.5 inches in diameter) is G22, and the smallest (3 inches
long, 1.6 inches in diameter) is J33. |
CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!
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make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits
"this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime
"DON KING OF THE
"Class, you will notice the
difference between the Asian and African elephant is the African
elephant has larger tusk and has more soul"-Bathair
contributions or suggestions to mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org?subject=stimes_caption