For The Week Of 02/01/2010
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly “Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?” The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Hell no they ain’t twins.” “The oldest one’s 9 and the other one’s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?” I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am,” replied the greeter. “I just couldn’t believe someone made love to you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.” He replied, “I want to offer my deepest condolences.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Unhappy -Hipsters.
Hot Chicks -With Stormtroopers!
Films Fav High School -Nerds!
Sammie Naked For -24 Hours!
Rutgers Girls -Hate Getting Spanked!
99 Bricks: Legend of Garry -Game of the Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Ways To Attract Her With Humor.
Tip #1: The purpose of Cocky Comedy isn’t to make a woman laugh -- it’s about making her feel ATTRACTION. Cocky Comedy is just the right mixture of cocky or arrogant and funny. Why this combination? Women aren’t attracted to lower-status men… and the cocky element implies you have high status. Healthy-minded women aren’t attracted to complete jerks either, and the comedy element keeps you out of the “complete jerk” category. Tip #2: Mess with her. Give an overexaggerated compliment that can’t be real but seems way too serious; accuse her of stepping over the line and trying to pick you up in some way; complain about something in an overly serious way. Keep her on her toes and you’ll keep her interested. Tip #3: Want to REALLY dial up the attraction? Bust a woman’s balls just like you bust on your buddies. Call her names like dork, brat and dude. If she WHINES about anything, mock her whining in an exaggerated and playful way. Interrupt her repeatedly, then be overly silent. Bust her balls just like she’s an old buddy of yours, and she’ll be blown away by your confidence and sense of humor. Tip #4: Your gestures, facial expressions and voice tone are all great Cocky Comedy tools. Push her into things as you’re walking. Hand her something but then don’t let go, and don’t grab something she’s handing to you. Steal her food or take the big piece. Swat her playfully with a magazine, napkin or whatever you can find. Thumb wrestle, tickle her… the possibilities here are endless. Tip #5: Men try to force a woman to give him this approval by saying something that’s supposed to make her laugh, and then laughing at his own joke in hopes he’ll get her to laugh too (and so give him the approval he’s looking for). But all this does is communicate to her that he’s desperately seeking her approval… which is one of a woman’s BIGGEST TURNOFFS. Dont try to force her to laugh. Tip #6: Women are attracted to higher-status males. So how does a woman tell if she’s talking to one? If she catches herself seeking HIS approval, and he never seeks HER approval, then she unconsciously knows that she’s dealing with a higher-status man. And she’ll reward that man with mating opportunities. That’s where Cocky Comedy comes in. When you make a woman laugh (which is her seeking your approval), but not laugh yourself (which communicates that YOU don’t need HER approval), you’ll create and AMPLIFY her attraction to you. It’s an unconscious communication she can’t help but respond to. Tip #7: Most guys who naturally use Cocky Comedy aren’t TRYING to be funny, and they’re definitely not seeking approval -- they’re being the CHARACTER. The character is where 90% of the humor flows from. So what is the character? If you catch yourself thinking, “She’s just trying to get me into bed" and “What’s in it for me?" or if you're sarcastically encouraging her bad behavior or imitating her silly quirks, then you’ve got the character. When you do, you’ll find that Cocky Comedy will happen almost automatically, and so will a woman’s attraction for you. Learn the common mistakes to avoid and more... Tip #8: When something works… turn it up Tip #9: Too much funny and she’ll see you as goofy or dorky. Too much cocky and she’ll see you as an A-hole, a jerk or an insecure guy. Don’t mistake an outright putdown for being cocky. Tip #10: Fill your toolbox with OTHER tools too. Although Cocky Comedy is one of the most POWERFUL strategies I’ve come across for creating attraction in a woman, it’s a mistake to think that it’s everything or, for that matter, to think that ANYTHING is everything when it comes to attracting a woman. Cocky Comedy is a lethal tool, don’t get me wrong, but don’t rely on Cocky Comedy to create attraction all by itself. You must overcome your insecurities, polish up your personality quirks and learn to control your body language. Top 10 provided by Askmen.com. Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by: Anonymous

My friend and I have been thinking about fooling around for quite a while now and she has mentioned having sex in a car, so I wondered if you have any tips or positions you we could try. Also the car is really small.

A:
Dear Anon, So many jokes could be told about the car statement right now. This reminds me of Mallrats, the movie. Where Ben Affleck has this thing for having anal in a small yet uncomfortable car, like the back of a Volkswagen. Lol. My biggest concern here is while having sex in a vehicle can be fun and exciting it also poses a threat of going to jail for indecent exposure. First things first, I hope you have tints. They help a lot. Second, You can try going to a beach if theres one near by at night and park there and get your groove on. Parking lots also are good at night, but creepy. You could get mugged if in a bad area. Best thing is on the side of the road on a highway. No one will pay attention to you because they're driving. If it's a small car try putting the passenger seat all the way back and down and you can be on top. If the car has a back bench, you can try to move the front seats all the way forward and have her ride you. If you want to be risky and really have lots of fun, have her bend over on the hood and fuck her brains out. Good Luck Babe!

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Redneck Water Ski
 
 

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STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A Spanish disco is tonight offering free "consolers" to the first 400 girls who pitch up at the door, and promises the lucky recipients they're "going to vibrate". The Cuomo flyer offering free consolerValencia's Cuomo, described by El Periódico as one of the region's best known nightspots, and which attracts thousands of youngsters every weekend, promises a lively night featuring striptease, lesbian action and "sensual male couples". To qualify for a consoler, female candidates must be over 20 and pay the 10 euro (8 with the flyer, pictured) entry fee. Lads will be offered the "consolation prize" of free condoms. El Periódico notes that another Valencia nightspot, Pachá, last year attempted to attract punters with a free boob-job giveaway, but protests and a Health Ministry probe put the kibosh on the idea. While Valencians will doubtless welcome the Cuomo initiative with open legs, the Spanish will have to pull their fingers out if they want to match the Aussies for creative promotions. In 2008, a Melbourne boozer's "No Undie Sundie" plan caused a bit of a rumpus, not least because the establishment had previously landed in hot water for hiring a dwarf "to pour free liquor down the throats of drinkers". ®
 
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