For The Week Of 02/02/2009
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear vaseline over the spot where the seal should be. Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike to her house, where she is outside waiting for him. "No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word." She tells him, "Our family had a fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven't done any since, but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them." Steve sits down for dinner and it is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody is saying a word. So Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend, throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. A few minutes later he grabs her mom, throws her on the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, and her mother is a little happier. But still there is complete silence at the table. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs his jar of vaseline. Upon witnessing this, his girlfriend's father backs away from the table and screams, "OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY, I'LL DO THE FUCKING DISHES".

SITES OF THE WEEK
Sex -Haiku!
Exotic -Pets!
Top 50 -Blonde Jokes!
Petter -Vs. Chicken!
Greatest -Guitar Solos!
Perfect Balance!-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How To Give Women an Orgasm through G Spot Stimulation
Step1: To give women orgasms though their G spots, it’s first important to put her at ease. Many women are actually reluctant to have you fiddling with their G spots because of many reasons. One, she’s not really sure where her G spot is exactly herself. Two, she’s afraid that she’ll pee on you during g spot stimulation. And three, she may think that YOU don’t want to have to do anything with her G spot! On point one, tell that if you’re willing to explore her G spot and bring her to a wild orgasm, she should be open to it too. On point two, the best way to address this is to ask her to relieve herself in the bathroom first or not drink for about an hour or two before you guys engage in sex. On the third point, just re-assure that you are indeed interested in bring her to a different kind of climax. Step2: Engage in a lot of foreplay and oral sex. These activities will put you both in the right mood and even physically help you locate her G spot. As she’s sexually stimulated, blood rushes to her G spot and engorges it a bit, making it easier for you to find her spot. Step3: Before location, focus on position. Ask her to sit on an armchair and have her legs propped on either side of the armrests. She may feel a bit too exposed that’s why foreplay and oral sex are important. You don’t need to literally ask her to do this position. You can guide her to an armchair and perform oral sex on her, putting her in perfect position at the same time. Step4: Another position you guys can try is simply having her lie back on a soft pillow and hoisting her hips up with pillows. This enables you to more comfortably insert your finger into her, palm up. This also opens her up for oral stimulation later. She may also try to squat while you reach down and insert a finger insider her. Step5: Whatever the position, bring your woman to orgasm via G spot simulation by applying firm pressure on her G spot. You can crook your index finger, or middle finger, or both, as if you’re calling someone when you’re inside her. Feel for a slightly engorged and rough spot on her vaginal wall. Once you find her G spot, tap at it, make circular eight motions and flick it like a switch and see which one brings your woman to an orgasm the hardest and soonest.Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by:Juan

I have a suspicion that getting erections will increase one's sperm count because the body is preparing for sex and thus produces more sperm. Is there any validity to this theory?

A:
Dear Juan, While your theory certainly appeals to intuition, the fact is that unused sperm does not accumulate in a reserve. Instead, they are either reabsorbed or passed out of the body in the form of urine. While the amounts may vary from man to man, the body keeps a finite cap on the amount of sperm it produces and retains.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


WTF Pancake Commercial
 
 
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Three senior citizens were allegedly caught red handed trying to steal from a Stockton Costco store, according to authorities. Dora Mae Lewis, Sandra Denise Williams and Susan Diane Lockette Gibson loaded their cart with liquor bottles and other items and attempted to walk out of the store without paying, according to the Stockton Police Department. When security confronted the three senior citizens, the situation became ugly. "One of the females became combative with the employees that were trying to stop them," said Pete Smith from the Stockton Police Department. "She began swinging a full liquor bottle at one of the employees." As the confrontation escalated in the parking lot, another suspect allegedly tried to return the stolen merchandise back in the store. Police say the three ladies are now facing robbery and burglary charges.
 
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