For The Week Of 02/05/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Four nuns go to heaven and as they get to the pearly gates St. Peter presides over them and says, "Now usually we ask people here if they have any last sins they want to confess before going before Him, but since you are nuns, you have presumably lived a rather sin-free life. Nonetheless, this is your time to confess anything you have hanging over your head." So the first nun walks up and says, "Well, I have to confess that one day, while cleaning out the priests' quarters, I walked into one of the rooms without knocking and, well...I saw the priest's penis." Ashamed, she bowed her head and waited for a response. St. Peter replies, "No problem at all daughter of God, just cleanse your eyes in the fountain of purity and all will be forgiven." The second nun then steps forward and says, "I, too, have something similar I must get off my chest. You see, while cleaning out the priests' quarters I also forgot to knock, saw the priest naked, but .... I could not resist....I touched the priest's penis." Completely embarrassed in front of her peers and St. Peter, she bowed and waited for her judgment. St. Peter calmed the nun and replied, "Do not fret child, merely cleanse your hands in the fountain of purity and all will be forgiven." Before the third nun can step forward, the nun behind her starts to pull her and shove her away, attempting to get in front of her. St. Peter, rather surprised with the nun's actions pleads the nun to stop and explain herself. So the last nun says, "Oh St. Peter, I only wanted to gargle the water from the fountain of purity before she put her ass in it!""

SITES OF THE WEEK
K-Fed -Super Bowl Commercial
Morals Of Nursery Rhymes -Rick Gervais
Cyber Crook For the FBI -Good Read
Your black Friend -Get One For You
Weapons Factory-Absurd
Silver Sphere-Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Stay Healthy!
I dunno how many jackasses there are out there that do not know how to use a debit card! Ever try to use it to pay at the pump or at the grocery store and it throws a "fuck you---you broke bastard" message back at you when you know damn well that there should be enough cash in there? I know its called a debit card...but choose CREDIT instead of DEBIT. This will let you use your card up to the very last penny and even overdraft...while with debit you must have at least $40 in your account before you try and use it. Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Dave
Iím an uncircumcised man, and Iím eight inches when I get a hard-on. My spouse wants me to get circumcised. She heard that it would make my erection bigger and thicker. Is this true?

A:

Whereís your lady getting her information from, Jose Canseco? While there are several purported benefits to circumcision, increased erectile size is not one of them. The only thing that could possibly help you out in that department is penis enlargement surgery, which doesnít exactly boast a good risk-reward ratio. (See Too Short and Help! They Mangled My Penis! for more info.) And think about it logically: How exactly is subtracting a wee bit of loose skin supposed to enlarge your natural goods? Besides, big man, it sounds to me like you donít really need the help. The necessity of circumcision is debatable. Its supporters argue its cleanliness. It also can make a guy less susceptible to urinary tract infections, penile cancer, and general p-funk. However, good weenie hygiene should eliminate these problems, anyway. Not to mention, there are scads of men from all over the globe still sporting turtlenecks, and their parts work just fine, as Iím sure you well know. Studies do show, though, that circumcised men are less sensitive than their foreskinned counterparts, helping them last longer during sexówhich, if youíve checked your spam e-mail lately, seems pretty important to a lot of people.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Sky Diver Almost Hit By Airplane
 
 




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
KEWASKUM, Wis. (AP) - Police Chief Richard Knoebel says he wasn't about to take the easy way out when he accidentally drove past a stopped school bus with its emergency lights flashing. For violating traffic laws, Knoebel wrote himself a ticket for $235, docked himself four points on his driving record and paid the fine the next day. It happened in September but didn't make news until after the fine appeared in court records and was reported by a West Bend newspaper. Knoebel says he doesn't mind getting the belated attention, if it serves to raise awareness. "If it brings notice to people that they should be stopping for school buses, I don't mind the notoriety," he said. He said he was on patrol on four-lane U.S. 45 when he was distracted by a stopped dump truck. He saw a car coming from behind and thought it might hit the truck, so he moved to pass the truck before he saw the stopped school bus in the far lane. He said he didn't realize he had passed the bus until it was too late.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Broke Back Accountants"-Rattle
Runners-up
"With rising gas prices, Dave had to consider other means of transportation"-Andy
"Barbaro in hell"-Will
"Bobís Kentucky Derby dream ended when the security guards made him leave the store."-Zach



contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com



Show your support..Suggest SublimeTimes to a friend!
Friend's Email:
Your name: NOTE: Please put a name your friend will recognize
 

Archived Issues:
|06-18-2001 |06-25-2001 |07-02-2001 |07-09-2001 |07-16-2001 |
|07-23-2001 |07-30-2001 |08-06-2001 |08-13-2001 |08-20-2001 |
|08-27-2001 |09-03-2001 |09-10-2001 |09-17-2001 |09-23-2001 |
|10-01-2001 |10-08-2001 |10-15-2001 |10-22-2001 |10-30-2001 |
|11-05-2001 |11-12-2001 |11-17-2001 |11-24-2001 |12-03-2001 |
|12-10-2001 |12-17-2001 |12-24-2001 |12-31-2001 |01-07-2002 |
|01-14-2002 |01-21-2002 |02-04-2002 |02-11-2002 |02-18-2002 |
|02-25-2002 |03-03-2002 |03-10-2002 |03-18-2002 |03-25-2002 |
|04-01-2002 |04-08-2002 |04-15-2002 |04-22-2002 |04-29-2002 |
|05-06-2002 |05-13-2002 |05-20-2002 |05-27-2002 |06-03-2002 |
|06-10-2002 |06-17-2002 |06-24-2002 |07-01-2002 |07-07-2002 |
|07-15-2002 |07-22-2002 |07-29-2002 |08-05-2002 |08-12-2002 |
|08-19-2002 |08-26-2002 |09-02-2002 |09-09-2002 |09-16-2002 |
|09-23-2002 |09-30-2002 |10-07-2002 |10-14-2002 |10-21-2002 |
|10-28-2002 |11-04-2002 |11-11-2002 |11-18-2002 |11-25-2002 |
|12-02-2002 |12-09-2002 |12-16-2002 |12-23-2002 |12-30-2002 |
|01-06-2003 |01-13-2003 |01-20-2003 |01-27-2003 |02-03-2003 |
|02-10-2003 |02-17-2003 |02-24-2003 |03-03-2003 |03-10-2003 |
|03-17-2003 |03-24-2003 |03-31-2003 |04-07-2003 |04-14-2003 |
|04-21-2003 |04-28-2003 |05-05-2003 |05-12-2003 |05-19-2003 |
|05-27-2003 |06-02-2003 |06-09-2003 |06-16-2003 |06-24-2003 |
|06-30-2003 |07-07-2003 |07-14-2003 |07-21-2003 |07-28-2003 |
|08-04-2003 |08-11-2003 |08-18-2003 |08-25-2003 |09-01-2003 |
|09-08-2003 |09-15-2003 |09-22-2003 |09-29-2003 |10-06-2003 |
|10-13-2003 |10-20-2003 |10-27-2003 |11-03-2003 |11-10-2003 |
|11-17-2003 |11-24-2003 |12-01-2003 |12-08-2003 |12-15-2003 |
|12-22-2003 |12-29-2003 |01-05-2004 |01-12-2004 |01-19-2004 |
|01-26-2004 |02-02-2004 |02-09-2004 |02-16-2004 |02-23-2004 |
|03-01-2004 |03-08-2004 |03-15-2004 |03-22-2004 |03-29-2004 |
|04-05-2004 |04-12-2004 |04-19-2004 |04-26-2004 |05-03-2004 |
|05-10-2004 |05-17-2004 |05-24-2004 |05-31-2004 |06-07-2004 |
|06-14-2004 |06-21-2004 |06-28-2004 |07-05-2004 |07-12-2004 |
|07-19-2004 |07-26-2004 |08-02-2004 |08-09-2004 |08-16-2004 |
|08-23-2004 |08-30-2004 |09-06-2004 |09-13-2004 |09-20-2004 |
|09-27-2004 |10-04-2004 |10-11-2004 |10-18-2004 |10-25-2004 |
|11-01-2004 |11-08-2004 |11-15-2004 |11-22-2004 |11-29-2004 |
|12-06-2004 |12-13-2004 |12-20-2004 |12-27-2004 |01-03-2005 |
|01-10-2005 |01-17-2005 |01-24-2005 |01-31-2005 |02-07-2005 |
|02-14-2005 |02-21-2005 |02-28-2005 |03-07-2005 |03-14-2005 |
|03-21-2005 |03-28-2005 |04-04-2005 |04-11-2005 |04-18-2005 |
|04-24-2005 |05-02-2005 |05-09-2005 |05-16-2005 |05-23-2005 |
|05-30-2005 |06-06-2005 |06-13-2005 |06-20-2005 |06-27-2005 |
|07-04-2005 |07-11-2005 |07-18-2005 |07-25-2005 |08-01-2005 |
|08-08-2005 |08-15-2005 |08-22-2005 |08-29-2005 |09-04-2005 |
|09-11-2005 |09-17-2005 |09-24-2005 |10-03-2005 |10-10-2005 |
|10-17-2005 |10-24-2005 |10-31-2005 |11-07-2005 |11-14-2005 |
|11-21-2005 |11-28-2005 |12-05-2005 |12-12-2005 |12-19-2005 |
|12-26-2005 |01-02-2006 |01-09-2006 |01-16-2006 |01-23-2006 |
|01-31-2006 |02-06-2006 |02-13-2006 |02-20-2006 |02-27-2006 |
|03-06-2006 |03-13-2006 |03-20-2006 |03-27-2006 |04-03-2006 |
|04-10-2006 |04-17-2006 |04-24-2006 |05-01-2006 |05-08-2006 |
|05-15-2006 |05-22-2006 |05-29-2006 |06-05-2006 |06-12-2006 |
|06-17-2006 |06-26-2006 |07-03-2006 |07-10-2006 |07-17-2006 |
|07-24-2006 |07-31-2006 |08-07-2006 |08-14-2006 |08-21-2006 |
|08-28-2006 |09-04-2006 |09-11-2006 |09-18-2006 |09-25-2006 |
|10-01-2006 |10-08-2006 |10-16-2006 |10-23-2006 |10-30-2006 |
|11-06-2006 |11-13-2006 |11-20-2006 |11-28-2006 |12-04-2006 |
|12-11-2006 |12-18-2006 |12-25-2006 |01-01-2007 |01-08-2007 |
|01-15-2007 |01-22-2007 |01-29-2007 |






[ back to sublime main ]