For The Week Of 02/06/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Rufus bought his wife Lula-Bell 12 long-stemmed roses for her birthday. Lula-Bell gave him a big, close hug and a long, deep kiss. Then she whispered in his ear, "I guess I'm just going to spend all night on my back with my legs in the air." Rufus thought about it for a minute and then said, "You don't have to do that, honey. I bought you a vase to put the flowers in."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Hall Of Douchebags -WTF????
Dog Trick -Amazing
Suicide By Leggo -Awesome!
SE Asia-Photography
BookCrossing -Great Service
Yeti Climb -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Bill P!
Here's one for all the other people working paycheck to paycheck. My bank is a pain in the ass about processing my paychecks, and they never are "available" until the next day. If you don't want to wait for the check to clear, cash it out for as much as you can, which is typically how much you have in your account, and deposit the rest (you'll have to wait for the rest). Then you can just re-deposit the cash, which will be instantly "available" since it is put into the computer as cash. For example: Account Available: $300 Paycheck: $800 Write up the deposit slip for $500 dep, $300 cash, Write a second slip for $300 cash deposit When finished, you should have an available $600 instantly. Go buy your new TV. Also, if you tried drawing $350 or so on a $300, it is often a cashier judgement call, so you can often convince a bit more out of them. Yes, this just gets you your money one or two days sooner... but I know I often need it anyway.
Cheers, -Justin

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ASK TINA

Q: submited by C
Is it safe to pierce my below-the-belt area?
A:
Some women who've had their genitals pierced report an increase in sexual pleasure from the friction of the jewelry against that sensitive area. However, before you run out and pierce your privates, there are a few potential problems you need to be aware of. There's always the risk of infection when piercing any body part, so make sure you continually clean the area with mild antiseptic until it's thoroughly healed (when it's no longer red, sore, swollen or tender). The skin could become irritated from clothing or underwear rubbing against it every time you move, and it can even tear if the jewelry gets caught on fabric. If you're dead set on body jewelry, choose a piece made of a nontoxic substance (like surgical steel or gold) that lies close to your skin (nothing dangly) and be extra careful when you towel yourself dry after bathing. You also have to be supervigilant if you're sexually active before your piercing is fully healed. If your partner's semen comes into contact with your open wound, you're more susceptible to contracting HIV. Unless you're absolutely certain he's got a clean bill of health, play it safe by using a condom. There is some prepiercing info you should know about, too. First, you only want to pierce the clitoral hood or inner or outer labia, not the clitoris itself. You need to find the right piercing studio and schedule a consultation before you make any decisions. It's best to get recommendations, but if you don't know anyone who has gone through the process, you'll have to make your own assessments when you meet with the piercer. Be certain that you thoroughly understand the technique (don't be afraid to ask tons of questions) and find out about the sterilization methods. You should also scope out the place. Is the piercing space private, sanitary and organized? Does the piercer seem clean and knowledgeable about the body, specifically the genitals? Do you feel comfortable with this person? And don't forget about the "ouch factor." You have to consider your pain threshold. People who've been pierced say it feels similar to getting a shot. But, everyone's genital sensitivity can vary, and this nerve-packed area can be pretty tender. So, if you feel faint at the sight of needles or don't deal well with discomfort, it's probably not a good idea. If you decide to go ahead with the procedure (you can do it on the spot or make an appointment for a future date), be sure the piercer uses new, disposable gloves and that the needles are from an unopened sterilized package. Also, piercers should never use a piercing gun on any body part except the ears. And remember: If anything is out of order -- or you have a last-second change of heart -- you have the right to call the whole thing off.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Naked Wheelies!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "nw.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "nw.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
An Alberta-born man who tried to defy one of the immutable facts of life taxes by claiming he doesn't actually have a name, is going to have to go back to the drawing board. Cliff Hanna, who now makes his home in Whitehorse, was fined $3,000 for failing to file tax returns for the past three years. Hanna's rather unique defence and his insistence that he was a free man, didn't fly with territorial justice of the peace Garry Burgess. In a sworn affidavit, Hanna claims his name, James Clifford Hanna, was assigned to his birth certificate many years ago in Alberta. And he claims no responsibility for debts or obligations the government may now assign to that name. Hanna says people continue to be defrauded into believing their birth certificate obliges them to obey demands of the Crown. He says there is no record anywhere that he ever accepted the Hanna name. And the fact he occasionally responds to that name when called means nothing. "I respond to 'Uncle' from my niece and nephews, and 'Meow' from my aunt's cats, but it is doubtful that any of these is my true name," he argued in court documents. As far as he's concerned, the name James Clifford Hanna is "hearsay" to him. He concludes, his name is the property of, and creation of the Crown, a bankrupt entity, with no real money. "If you wish to collect debt instruments [Canadian legal tender] ... may I suggest you send your invoice and demand for performance to the ministry responsible in Alberta," Hanna's affidavit reads. The JP would have none of it, handing Hanna the minimum fine plus a surcharge totalling $3,450.
 
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Winner
"Hey, that prick stole my brush!" -Steve
Runners-up
"For getting to those hard to reach places"-Libby
"Jenna Jameson's electric toothbrush!"-David



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