For The Week Of 02/06/2012
Happy with all the porn you are taking off Sublime… time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

The bartender says "You can't have that thing in here! Get out!" The guy says "It's okay, this Alligator is highly trained. Just give me a few seconds and I'll show you." The bartender, intrigued, gives him the go-ahead. The man gingerly lifts the alligator up onto a table. By this point, everybody in the bar is gawking at this strange man and his pet. The man grins around the room. Having a new audience, he clears his throat and says "This is Allie the Amazing Alligator, and he is so well-trained that I can do this," He balls up his fist and gives the alligator a swift crack on the head. "OPEN!" He says. The alligator opens his mouth. Before the bartender can do anything, the man unzips his fly and whips it out. He gingerly places his penis in the front of the alligator's gaping maw. He wallops the alligator once more and says "CLOSE!" And the alligator ever-so-gently closes his terrifying jaws comfortably around his junk. One last time, he raps his head and says "OPEN!" He removes his unharmed manhood, and tucks it safely back into his pants. The crowd applauds, and he takes a bow. With all eyes still focused on him, he says "Now, any of you guys have the balls to do that, I'll buy you a drink and give you fifty dollars." Silence falls over the bar, and everyone looks around for someone who might be willing to take the bet.

After a few endless, uncomfortable seconds, A little dude in the back slowly raises his hand and says
"I'll do it, but you have to promise not to hit me so hard."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Food On -My Dog!
Buy a -Horse Head Mask!
Shit People Say -Database!
Websites From Hell -Dot Net!
EXTREME -ADVERTISEMENTS!
Amorphous+ -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Simplify is a Desktop Controller for iTunes, Spotify and Rdio

Mac OS X: Mini-player apps like previously mentioned Bowtie or GeekTool are great, though they usually only support one or two media players—which isn't great for music junkies that might use multiple programs. Simplify is a simple desktop controller and shortcut customizer that controls iTunes, Spotify, and Rdio. The app is pretty simple; like other mini-players, it shows the current playing track and album art on your desktop. You can play, pause, and skip by clicking on the mini-player, but it also has a number of customizable shortcuts that affect all three players. You also have a few different sizes and looks to choose from, so it blends in nicely with your desktop and the way you listen to music. If you're only using iTunes and Spotify, Bowtie is still probably a better bet, since it's more customizable (not to mention free). However, if you're using Rdio—perhaps due to its better selection—this is a really nice way to keep an eye on and get control over all your media players at once. We wish it were a bit cheaper and had a better method for switching between players without quitting them, but a lot of that is Apple's fault, too.
Hit the link to check it out.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submitted by Jack

I am 41 and have never been able to ejaculate during oral sex. I can controle things very well in all other forms of intercourse, from just a few minutes to a couple hours depending on the amount of time at hand. My gf does a very good job with adminstering oral sex and makes me nearly lose my mind but I just cant ejaculate no matter what she tries. Help!

A:
This is totally a Psyche problem. I too have difficulty cumming in my partners mouth because I know she doesn't really like it and she has had some putrefied expressions in the past when I have. Now she begs me to and I often can't. With other partners I had no problems. What helps me is to close my mind and think about some porn flicks where the chick is smiling and envision that's what my partner is doing with my cum.

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Classic Porn Intro


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
TAIWAN, CHINA -- A 74-YEAR-OLD man died after he accidentally swallowed his dentures during sex with a 62-year-old prostitute in Taiwan, reported Nanyang Siang Pau. The man, known as Chen, had been living with a close female friend in New Taipei City after separating from his wife many years ago. The prostitute said she had sex with Chen for 30 minutes. She said Chen had got up from the bed, paid her and was about to put on his clothes when he suddenly collapsed. "He fell back onto the bed. His eyes were open but he was not moving although I shook his body and tried to wake him up," said the woman, who called the rescue team. Chen was rushed to the hospital where he was pronounced dead. Doctors later found his dentures stuck in his throat.
 
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