For The Week Of 02/07/2011
Happy with all the porn you are taking off Sublime… time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

One day he comes home and confesses to his wife that he has these... urges. Urges to put his penis in the pickle slicer. "What!?" says his wife. "You didn't, did you?" Of course he didn't. But he did have these urges. As time goes on, every now and then he confesses that the urges haven't diminished. And so, one day he arrives home and admits: "I'm sorry, honey. I did it. I put my penis in the pickle slicer." "Oh my God!" she exclaims, "Are you ok? what happened!?" "Well, I got fired." "No, no! I mean with the pickle slicer!" "Oh. Well... She got fired, too."

SITES OF THE WEEK
How To -Understand Rap!
Broke And -Don't Know It!
Honest Answers -Bad Advice!
Babes Wearing -Star Wars Shirts!
Fat Ugly -Or Slutty!
Epic Coaster -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Properly Stir a Cocktail Drink

If your delivery on request of "Stirred, not shaken." leaves a bit to be desired, this guide will help you brush up on your cocktail stirring skills (as well as highlight when and why you should stir instead of shake). Culinary blog Serious Eats has a helpful guide to stirring cocktails. Their guide outlines why you opt to stir instead of shake, why you want a glass mixer instead of metal, how to properly chill your mixing and serving glasses, and more. Hit up the article here for step-by-step instructions. Need some help picking a cocktail? Grab a mobile cocktail app and see what you can squeeze out of your home bar. While you're at it learn how basic formulas are the foundation of good impromptu cocktails.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submitted by sg

What feels best for women: thrusting, or grinding pubic bone to pubic bone for clitoral stimulation? For thrusting, there would be clitoral stimulation but manually.

What should I do?

A:
A combo of both is ideal, but I prefer the grinding. I can cum every time with that. Thrusting takes a long time, and it's hit or miss for me. I'm a clit girl though. There are those that prefer the g-spot.

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

A Cup of What

Free Porn Tube

Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
ITHACA, NY -- The Cornell University Police Department shut down the second annual “Epic Snowball Fight on the Arts Quad” Wednesday, apprehending a student, confiscating tin shields and knocking over a six-foot snow penis.

Chief of Police Kathy Zoner said CUPD officers did not plan on breaking up the event but had to do so in response to a call-in complaint. The officers decided that the event had to be stopped because it was “putting both people and property at the potential for injury and damage,” Zoner said. As a police car approached from the western end of the quad, the hundreds of Cornellians who had pelted each other with smiles dropped their slushy weapons with disgusted frowns. “Fuck the police!” someone shouted. “Hit the cops!” yelled another. Soon, some had rearmed, and a snowball glanced off the police car windshield. Then another. A third landed with a thud. An officer stepped out of the car and was promptly hit in the chest.

For 15 minutes police worked their way through the crowd, but the students — who were packed around Olin Library as tightly as the snowballs they hurled back and forth — continued to fire.

One officer, who thought a snowball had been directed at the police, “identified an individual who he thought was involved,” Zoner said. That individual, Tony, M. Eng. ’11, who declined to give his last name, said police took him and told him to place his hands on the police car. Tony said the officer took his information and asked if there was “anything in your backpack to worry about.”

“Of course not, officer,” replied Tony, who added that he did have his financial engineering textbook. Upon his release, he was told the officer would run a background check for prior incidences of misconduct. “I just threw a snowball randomly into the crowd … They said I hit their feet,” Tony said after being released by the officers. “They upset me a lot.”
 
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Winner
"My cunnilingus skills destroy chicks. No, really." -Earl

Runner-up
"You'll have to excuse me...I have permanent lockjaw." -Clark



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