For The Week Of 02/11/02
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A commercial traveller was driving through the Scottish Highlands when his car broke down. There was a cottage near by so he went up to it and knocked on the door. The door opened to reveal a burly Highlander. "My car has conked out," said the traveller, "Where can I spend the night?" "Why, right here of course!" said the Scot, "Come in and avail yourself of our world famous hospitality." The traveller duly entered the humble but cosy residence."Jeannie," shouted the host in the direction of the kitchen, and in response to his call his beautiful daughter appeared. "Jeannie, make a meal for the gentleman and remember to uphold our great tradition of Highland hospitality." The traveller was soon tucking into an appetising meal, the girl had indeed spared no effort to extend Highland hospitality to the guest. "And now," said the Highlander, "I'm afraid I must go out and milk the cows, but just make yourself at home and take full advantage of our world famous Highland hospitality." No sooner had the door closed behind him than the traveller set about seducing the lovely daughter. In no time at all he had her on floor and was on the job. Suddenly the door opened and there stood the Highlander. He took one look at what was going on and his face turned purple with rage. He dropped his two buckets of milk with a boxer and gave verbal vent to his wrath. "After all I have been saying about the Highland hospitality," he roared, "Arch your back woman, and take the poor man's balls off the cold floor."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Movers -Jump Around (Wait for it to load).
Cyber Babe! -Make the perfect babe.
Samuri Rabbit -Tale of honor!!
Learn how to touch a babe -Courtesy of Maxim!
Five finger cut -Game of the week!
SUBLIMER SEXCAPADE OF THE WEEK
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My friend and I joined the service together and went through basic together. He was not one to be full of life but liked to sleep a lot. The shortest man in the company had hemorrhoids really bad and was always wanting to show everyone. He was really twisted. At any rate we caught my friend sleeping one Sunday afternoon and the short fellow backed his ass over my friends face. Of course the man had washed his fanny and really did not expect anything to happen because my friend slept really sound. Someone yelled fire and my friend jumped at the sound. Of course you know the rest of the story. On his way up and out of the bed, my friends face went directly into the short mans fanny. At that moment the world stood still for just that split second. The moments that followed were filled with people running in every direction and trying not to get hit. Each one was laughing so hard and my friend was completely filled with anger and rage. After a while he settled down and began to laugh. That afternoon brought many of us together because of a stupid stunt and we managed to get through the remaining years of the war. We lost a couple of the guys and some of us visited the families after we came home. The short guy still remembers the face of my friend just before the lights went out.
–Submitted by Andy V., Orlando, Fla.


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ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by Jwac

This kind of question isn't exactly up your alley, but then again, maybe that is why you can give me the best answer. My roommate and I have been friends since the first day of high school and since then he has become like my brother. Well, we in college at a university where the hottest parties and girls can be found on any given day. Great right? Sure it is, but my roommate isn't living up the life with me and these amazing people. The reason is because of his girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, she is a nice girl, I personally know that I would think highly of her if I didn't have the bias of being best friends with her boyfriend. SHE RUNS HIS LIFE. Now, freshman year in college, I was able to just say screw it and not think anything of going to a party without him. Sure I'd go out and have fun, but one of the things that makes parties great is the good times with good friends. Whenever he is drinking or appearing to have any kind of "fun" when his girlfriend is present, she flips out, makes him come to bed with her, or they get in one of their ridiculous arguments. No, it is not any of my business, I could give a shit what they fight about. The only thing I really care about is getting my buddy out with me so we can experience life in college. She has to know where he is every hour of the day and even though he devotes his entire weekend to her, she complains that they don't spend enough time together. JD, I am comfortable enough in my heterosexuality to know that its ok for me to miss my best friend being around and yes getting jealous at the fact that he is ditching me all the time for someone that has him on the worst of leashes. I don't know, I'd appreciate any comment you have on this. What should I do or is this just me acting like an ass who needs to let his friends make their own decisions.

A:

-JD

 
clip OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Sucker Punched!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "boxer.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "boxer.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


You got knocked the fuck out!!!


Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
In January, after the California restaurant chain Carl's Jr. began televising a commercial chiding competitors' chicken-nugget meals (the ad: executives examining a chicken in a futile attempt to find a body part called the "nugget"), the animal rights group United Poultry Concerns objected, not just because the chicken was mishandled but because the examination hurt the chicken's feelings (treated the chicken "derisively," United's chief Karen Davis told the Los Angeles Times). (A few days later, seemingly in support of Davis, Australian neuroscientists Charles Watson and George Paxinos announced the startup of their project to compile a comprehensive atlas of a bird's "sophisticated and complex" brain, emphasizing features in common with humans' brains.) [UnitedPoulty Concerns press release, 1-17-02; Los Angeles Times, 1-16-02]

 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
""welcome to cell block six. here is your complimentary flower and your bar of soap is right over there on the floor!!" -harley
Runners-up
"Come... to Butthead!." -Chris
"Hey Stanford, what's up? I'm only gonna show you half a nip. You like that? You know you do." -Bass
"roses are red, violets are blue, i'm not that fat so fuck you!" -Pat




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Archived Issues:
|06-18-2001 |06-25-2001 |07-02-2001 |07-09-2001 |07-16-2001 |
|07-23-2001 |07-30-2001 |08-06-2001 |08-13-2001 |08-20-2001 |
|08-27-2001 |09-03-2001 |09-10-2001 |09-17-2001 |09-23-2001 |
|10-01-2001 |10-08-2001 |10-15-2001 |10-22-2001 |10-30-2001|
|11-05-2001 |11-12-2001 |11-17-2001 |11-24-2001|12-03-2001 |
|12-10-2001 ||12-17-2001|12-24-2001|12-31-2001|01-07-2002|
|01-14-2002|01-21-2002 | 02-04-2002|




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