For The Week Of 02/13/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Commericals -Super Bowl
Faces Of Meth -Stay Drug Free!
New Contest -Great Photoshop Technique!
SE Asia-Photography
World's Longest Turd -Gross
Micro Games -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Bill P!
Ever get your car booted for taking the good spot? Often they put the boot on and that's it: no ticket on the window or anything. They just expect you to call to pay the back fines and get the boot off. But you can free your Kia from its iron confines by using a compressor to deflate the tire. Once all of the air is out, the boot slips right off. Now fill the tire back up and drive off victoriously into the sunset.

contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Ryan
I can not understand how women say sex is still fulfilling even when they don't get off. However, if a guy gets blue balled, he's in a world of hurt. What’s up with this?
A:
Thanks for asking this question. This is one of the fundamental differences between men and women and the cause of much misunderstanding on both sides. What follows is an oversimplified explanation, but basically it boils down to the fact that there are big differences in male and female physiology and male and female sexual and emotional response. From a physiological point of view, because of the way male sex organs are constructed, there is a physical imperative for a man to ejaculate once aroused. Once a guy gets close to coming, his penis is completely engorged with blood, his testes have started contracting in preparation for ejaculation, and the gateways of his internal plumbing have already started opening in anticipation of a flood of spunk. All kinds of stuff is happening internally in order to propel the sperm around the pipes and out into the world, which requires a lot of force. Your semen has to travel through about two feet of tubing just to get from your balls to the end of your cock. So a lot of pressure builds up in there. The next time you bust a nut, take a moment to marvel at the feat of physics and engineering that your body pulls off to produce the hydraulic spectacle of a cum geyser. Female ejaculation aside, the mechanics of a woman’s orgasm are a lot different. When a woman cums, her orgasm produces internal, rhythmic muscular contractions of the uterus and vagina that, from a biological and procreative perspective, are meant to suck sperm up toward the ovaries so she can be inseminated. If a woman gets aroused to the point of almost coming, but doesn’t have an orgasm, the experience may feel physically unsatisfying to her, but it isn’t going to be physically uncomfortable the way it would be for a man. So if a woman doesn’t have an orgasm, but says that sex is fulfilling to her, what the heck is she talking about? Well, the truth is that most of the time men and women want and expect different things from their sexual encounters. While both men and women enjoy the physical pleasure of sex, for most men the goal is primarily achieving a physical release, whereas for women, the goal is less straightforward. Women get more into the emotional aspects and implications of sex. For them, being physically intimate is a way of being emotionally intimate. Many women say that having sex makes them feel emotionally “bonded” to their partner. This also explains why men and women often behave quite differently and have different sets of expectations after having had sex, and why men are usually more comfortable with having casual sex or one-time encounters. Of course, this is a broad generalization - men can also be very emotionally engaged during sex, and sometimes some women just want to get off. But most of the time, most men and most women are coming from different places as far as sex is concerned. Understanding those differences can help you both get your respective needs met while avoiding confusion and hurt feelings. If you feel brave and you have female friends or acquaintances who are open to talking about sex and will be real with you, try asking them honestly about this and other differences between men and women. You may not like hearing what they have to say, and vice versa, but you’ll learn a lot. And who knows – you may end up getting laid or finding out some valuable tips that will help you the next time.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Open Parachute!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "skydive.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "skydive.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
WASHINGTON (AP) - Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a companion during a weekend quail hunting trip in Texas, spraying the fellow hunter in the face and chest with shotgun pellets. Harry Whittington, a millionaire attorney from Austin, was "alert and doing fine" in a Corpus Christi hospital Sunday after he was shot by Cheney on a ranch in south Texas, said Katharine Armstrong, the property's owner. He was described as in stable condition by Yvonne Wheeler, spokeswoman for the Christus Spohn Health System in Corpus Christi. Armstrong in an interview with The Associated Press said Whittington, 78, was mostly injured on his right side, with the pellets hitting his cheek, neck and chest during the incident which occurred late afternoon on Saturday She said emergency personnel traveling with Cheney tended to Whittington until the ambulance arrived. Cheney's spokeswoman, Lea Anne McBride, said the vice president was with Whittington and his wife at the hospital on Sunday. The shooting was first reported by the Corpus Christi Caller-Times. The vice president's office did not disclose the accident until nearly 24 hours after it happened. Armstrong said she was watching from a car while Cheney, Whittington and another hunter got out of the vehicle to shoot at a covey of quail. Whittington shot a bird and went to look for it in the tall grass, while Cheney and the third hunter walked to another spot and discovered a second covey. Whittington "came up from behind the vice president and the other hunter and didn't signal them or indicate to them or announce himself," Armstrong said. "The vice president didn't see him," she continued. "The covey flushed and the vice president picked out a bird and was following it and shot. And by god, Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good." Whittington has been a private practice attorney in Austin since 1950 and has long been active in Texas Republican politics. He's been appointed to several state boards, including when then-Gov. George W. Bush named him to the Texas Funeral Service Commission. Whittington owns property in Travis County worth at least $11 million, the Austin American-Statesman reported last year, not counting a downtown block at the center of a long-running dispute with the city over a condemnation issue. Armstrong, owner of the Armstrong Ranch where the accident occurred, said Whittington was bleeding and Cheney was very apologetic. "It broke the skin," she said of the shotgun pellets. "It knocked him silly. But he was fine. He was talking. His eyes were open. It didn't get in his eyes or anything like that." "Fortunately, the vice president has got a lot of medical people around him and so they were right there and probably more cautious than we would have been," she said. "The vice president has got an ambulance on call, so the ambulance came." Cheney is an avid hunter who makes annual hunting trips to South Dakota to hunt pheasants. He also travels frequently to Arkansas to hunt ducks. Armstrong said Cheney is a longtime friend who comes to the ranch to hunt about once a year and is "a very safe sportsman." She said Whittington is a regular, too, but she thought it was the first time the two men hunted together. "This is something that happens from time to time. You now, I've been peppered pretty well myself," said Armstrong.
 
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"Hey, that prick stole my brush!" -Steve
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