For The Week Of 02/12/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began His round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a Terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU. The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that the he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital. He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant.... Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition. The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished Your round of golf didn't you! "I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last!" "For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care. And you'll be her care giver!" The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed The doctor snickered and said, "Just Fucking with you. She's dead. What'd you shoot?"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Baby Is Not Mine -Awesome Story
Joe Vs. Carlos -Ned??????
Kamasutra -Daily
Beer Goggles -Formula!
Death Parrot-Done By West African scammers!
Tangerine Panic-Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Golf!
Since you’ve got access to your opponent’s nonhandled ends and most of your competitors are customarily blotto, it’s almost too easy… When your opponent’s in control of the ball, “accidentally” bump against his lines to jar the ball loose. Just make sure the rod isn’t in a sensitive area when you’re doing it. (We know, funny stuff—unless it’s you.) When your opponent’s gotten over that distraction, wait until the ball’s deep inside your territory, or when he’s not manning his defense for just a moment, and gently turn his last bar until his goalie’s horizontal. You shoot…you score! And, to make all this fun low-cost fun, when playing foosball at a bar, place crumpled-up newspaper in each goal. Make sure to push the paper down far enough that the manager can’t see it, and you can foos all night long! Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by jack
I have a crush on this girl I work with. We get along really well, and we flirt when we see each other (find ways to touch each other, she blows me kisses, etc.). These things make me think she might like me too, but it could just be her personality. Also, she’s 22 (I’m 20), which I find intimidating. Should I go for it, or just forget it?

A:

Here’s the thing: Flirting, mutual or otherwise, is neither a promise nor a contract. It’s just kind of a clue. Sometimes it’s an invitation, other times it’s just harmless fun. Figuring out which is the trick. I have a feeling this girl might just have a flirty personality, but check out how she acts with other dudes in the office. If she’s playing kissy face with them too, she’s probably just having fun. But, if you’re the only one she’s winking at, then her actions might be more of a personal invitation. Do you chill together after work? Share lunch breaks? Even better. As I always say, dating is the ultimate risk/reward situation, in which you never get rewarded if you don’t take at least a little risk. Ask her out to something low key and noncommittal and see if she bites. If so, your chances are pretty good. If not, then just have fun with it. Remember, if you’re flirting with an older woman and holding your own, you’re already ahead of the curve.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Daft Punk A Cappella
 
 




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
BEIJING — A Chinese business executive was sentenced to death for swindling $385 million from investors in a bogus ant-breeding scheme, a court official said today. Wang Zhendong, chairman of Yingkou Donghua Trading Group Co., lured 10,000 investors between 2002 and 2005 by promising them returns of up to 60 percent on their stake in two companies that existed only on paper, the Xinhua News Agency said. Only $1.3 million of the swindled money had been recovered when the case was filed last June with the Intermediate People's Court in Yingkou, a port city in northeastern China, Xinhua said. Prosecutors told the court that one investor committed suicide after realizing he had been duped, Xinhua said. On Tuesday the court sentenced Wang to death, said an official in the court's case office who gave only his surname, Yin. Fifteen managers of the company were given prison terms ranging from five to 10 years and fined from $12,800 to $64,000, Xinhua said. Fake investments and pyramid investment schemes have become common during China's transition from a planned economy to a free market. Chinese leaders have tried to eradicate the scams, fearing widespread losses could add to already percolating social unrest. The death penalty is used broadly in China. Though usually reserved for violent crimes, it is also applied for non-violent offenses that involve large sums of money or are deemed to have a pernicious social impact.
 
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"Pinocchio was pissed when he found his girlfriend cheating on him with a real boy.!"-Ian
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"Pinocchio was pissed when he found his girlfriend cheating on him with a real boy."-BigDaddyBrown
"ohhh Paris some say you are too phoney, but you are all woman to me!!!"-Johnny
"a little prick and it all over."-Gary



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