For The Week Of 02/22/2010
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A young man, desperate for water, was plodding through the desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find a little old man at a small stand selling ties. The young man asked, "Do you have water?" The old man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5." The young man shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need Water! I should kill you, but I must find water first." "OK," said the old man. "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need." Muttering, the young man staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back. "Your brother won't let me in without a tie."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Shes A... -WHAT?!.
Creepy: Wasps Who Enslave -Spiders!
20 Funniest-Figure Skating Faces!
Leno Takes A Dig -At Conan!
Most Amazing Craigslist Ad -Ever!
G-Switch -Game of the Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How To Cook A Thick Steak In The Oven.
Tip #1: Choosing the right cut doesn't mean you have to go out and buy Filet Mignon, (it would work great but you can cook steak in the oven and consider your budget, too), but you do have to consider the thickness and the weight.If you try to cook a thin steak in the oven you could end up over cooking them. Thick steaks approximately 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 inches thick that weigh between 12 and 16 ounces work best. Tip #2: Marinate Steaks to Cook in The Oven: To cook steak in the oven that has great flavor and is tender it is best to marinate them. This is another timing thing for me but it works. I always take my steaks out of the fridge at least 30 minutes before I have to cook them and allow them to marinate in a half cup olive oil, 4 tablespoons soy sauce and 4 teaspoons Grill Mates Montreal Steak Seasoning. That marinade recipe is for two good sized steaks but you can easily double it if needed. This gives me time to get my cast ironed skillet and oven heated up and gives the steak time to come to room temperature. Tip #3: Sear the Steaks before you Cook Them in The Oven: To cook a steak in the oven that appears to have been cooked on the grill you need to sear it. I prefer to sear mine on the burner by heating the pan over medium high heat and then adding the steaks and turning them after about 4-5 minutes and then searing the other side for an equal amount of time but you could choose to sear them under the broiler. Some people prefer the broiler method because they do not have to turn them. They will sear on both sides because the heat from the broiler and the heat from the pan works together to sear both sides. Either way you are well on your way to cooking a great steak in the oven. Tip #4: Cook Steak in The Oven: To cook steak in the oven you have two choices. You can cook them quickly at 450 degrees or you can cook a steak in the oven at 325 degrees. Either way works great. I think timing is everything when it comes to cooking. If I'm just frying potatoes to go with them I set the oven at 450 degrees and they are cooked to a perfect medium in 10 to 12 minutes. But if I'm making baked potatoes I set the oven at 325 degrees which allows them to cook to a perfect medium in 25 to 30 minutes. You just choose which method works best for you and transfer your pan directly into the preheated oven. Tip #5: Remember: Steak cooked in the oven need to reach an internal temperature of at least 140 degrees Tip #6: When cooking steak in the oven be sure to use an oven mitt to avoid burns. Tip #7: If you plan to marinate longer than 30 minutes you need to do it in the fridge and then allow the steaks to return to room temperature before cooking steak in the oven. Tip #*: Now, Pair With a good Merlot and you are ready to enjoy a Man-Dinner! Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by: Jessica Q.

I am 22 years old and my boyfriend is 23. We've been dating for a year now and recently my boyfiend has been wanting to have anal sex. His penis is around 7 inches and I'm afraid it will be painful. Are there any tips you can povide that will make it easier for me to try this out with him?

A:
Dear JQ, While its always a great feeling to please your other half, remember that you ALWAYS come first. So If you dont feel like trying it then don't, but if you still want to try some back door entry fun then lets get started. First of all you should seriously get an enema done. Seeing as you dont want it to get messy. Then after that try to relax. When having sex try for him to finger your ass one finger at a time and then adding a finger if you can go further on each time. This will help you get a feel for anal sex. Some women find that they get a better orgasm from anal sex than they do from vaginal. Youre going to need a good amount of lube as well. I would try a water-based lubricant and keep the area quite lubricated. If you have a small buttplug try to use that as well to stretch the area so that you can get acustomed to the feel. GO SLOW! Try to take your time. Dont be in a hurry. Go at your own pace! You will enjoy it immensely. Good Luck Babe!

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.
Remix Time: Tiger Woods Apology!
 
 

Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
(02-20) 07:59 PST CONCORD -- A serial bank robber identified with the help of the mother of his children after she recognized his distinctive tattoo - a dark blotch that covered her name at the request of another woman - has been sentenced to five years in federal prison. Terrol Alan Casborn, 33, of Fairfield pleaded guilty in November to charges that he robbed the Mechanics Bank on Concord Avenue in Concord of $19,242 on Aug. 8, 2008. At a hearing Friday in Oakland, U.S. District Judge D. Lowell Jensen sentenced him to five years in prison. As part of a plea deal, Casborn agreed to pay full restitution to the bank and to another bank he robbed twice, the ECC Bank on Sun Valley Boulevard in Concord, which lost $4,508 on Jan. 22, 2009, and $7,231 on Nov. 26, 2008. The Mechanics Bank surveillance video showed that the robber had a large, irregularly shaped "blotch or spot close to the wrist, with what appears to be cursive writing below the blotch, closer to the knuckles," FBI Special Agent Todd Dorman wrote in an affidavit. A ski mask was found near the scene of two of the bank robberies, authorities said. The mask found after the January robbery was analyzed by the San Mateo County sheriff's office crime lab, where criminalists matched the DNA to Casborn, who has previous convictions for resisting arrest, car theft, forgery and passing fictitious checks, authorities said. On April 14, 2009, the FBI interviewed Jolene Allen, the mother of Casborn's four children, Dorman wrote. At one point, Casborn had the name "Jolene," tattooed on the back of his left hand and the name of their daughter tattooed immediately below it, Allen told investigators. "Allen knows that Casborn subsequently had the name 'Jolene' covered by a dark tattoo at the request of another woman," Dorman wrote. Allen recognized Casborn on the two surveillance videos, the FBI said.
 
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