For The Week Of 02/23/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the cashregister, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Miss. White Trash -Bueaty Pagent!
Pepsi's Itunes Giveaway -Dont Lose Ever!
Dudes Playing A Big Joke on A Loser! -Hilarious
Fight Club Broken Down -Return Of Hobbes!
Adventures -Of Really Bad Pornography!
Ultimate Dodge Ball -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Tire Store!
Tired of spending big bucks on tires for your car? Now, as long as you own the car, you should never have to pay for tires again. Most major tire store chains offer some sort of road hazard warranty. You know, the kind of warranty salesman grease you into buying that typically covers you against damage resulting from Nordic swordsmen and little else? Well, when you finally break down and buy new tires, be sure to purchase this warranty along with them, because the company will replace your tires for a nominal fee if you get a nail stuck in the sidewall. (It must be the sidewall for replacement). About once a year, pound a nail into the sidewall of one of your tires and go back to the store for free or nearly free replacement. You can get all four tires replaced by taking one tire each to a different location of the same store. I have a sports car that goes through tires almost yearly, and haven't paid for tires in almost 4 years.
contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Jacks
Where is the famous g-spot?

A:
The G spot is a small spongy pad of tissue a couple of inches up on the anterior wall of the vagina. Stimulation of the G spot produces very intense feelings which are pleasurable for most women but can be too intense for others. G spot stimulation can also help you achieve the illusive multiple orgasm. During G spot orgasms, the uterus bears down rather than lifts up, possibly improving the chances of conception. It is also thought that the intense pressure on the G spot during childbirth helps to reduce the pain by about 60 percent. Experiment with sexual positions and find the ones that hit your G spot. The missionary position will rarely hit the mark. You're more likely to achieve success if the man enters the woman's vagina from behind.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Kung Fu Frat!
 
 

to view clip: right click flash and choose "save target as" option. save the file "board.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "board.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Art Comes to Life: In a 1999 episode of TV's "The Simpsons," Homer became a temporary multibillionaire by accidentally inventing a "tomacco" plant that sprouted tobacco-bred tomatoes that were hopelessly addictive from even a single bite. Inspired (and hoping to draw attention to the show's anti-smoking message), Rob Baur of Lake Oswego, Ore., tried to grow such a plant and has somewhat succeeded, although a forensic researcher believes that only the plant itself, and not the fruit, contains nicotine. In February, he announced that he would auction off the golf-ball-sized fruit.
 
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This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"One false move and I'll fart and blow us all up!!"-Sal
Runners-up
"What Johnny Cash meant with "Ring Of Fire"-Rob
"Happy Birthday- Mr. President!"-nick



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