One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. “Why are you eating grass?” he asked one man. “We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “Oh, well, you can come with me to my house,” instructed the lawyer. “But, sir, I have a wife and two kids with me!” “Bring them along!” said the lawyer. He turned to the other man and said, “You come with us, too.” “But, Sir, I have a wife and six kids!” he answered. “Bring them as well!” answered the lawyer, as he headed for his limo. They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.” The lawyer replied, “Glad to do it. You’ll love my place. The grass is almost a foot tall!”

Q: submitted by Jack

I’m really attracted to a friend of mine and would like to get something going, but I’m afraid that if we have a relationship it might not work out and our friendship would be ruined forever What shall I do?

A:
Have a plan. You have to decide which type of relationship you really want. Then you find out if s/he is dating someone else. If they are, you leave it alone. Even if you think you are a much better catch, or that your friend isn’t being treated with the respect that he or she deserves, the fact is that your friend has chosen this person and is committed elsewhere. You don’t want your friend angry at you for crossing boundaries you should respect. But if your friend is free and single, you move to investigation level 2 where you find out if s/he is liking, crushing on, or interested in getting together and dating someone else. You can try showing him or her how much you care through calls and attention, but you never SAY it at this point. You are careful to keep an eye on what is going on with their other interest while you proceed to date other people when you can. BUT If the coast is 100% clear, you jump in and inform this friend that you were thinking about how wonderful s/he is, and that you would have liked to get together on a different level but are worried that you would lose a friendship that is very important to you. See what your friend has to say! Sometimes s/he was thinking the same thing but was afraid just as you are! There are no guarantees in life. And just because you like your friend romantically doesn’t mean that s/he has to feel the same. Expressing your feelings takes some real courage. And sometimes you have to risk the sure thing to go for the bonus prize behind Door #1, ya know?

-JD