|JOKE OF THE
Three mice are sitting in a bar. The
first mouse takes a swig of his beer and says, "I am a bad-ass
mouse; I'm so tough that in my neighborhood we have these big mouse
traps. I walk up to them, grab the cheese, catch the bar and press
it up and down with one arm while I eat the cheese. I'm a bad ass
mouse." The second mouse takes a couple swigs of his beer and says,
"That's nothin'. In my neighborhood, we have that rat poison shit,
and I grab it and eat, throw it in my water, gargle it. It ain't
nothin. I am a bad ass mouse." The third mouse slams his beer, gets
up and starts walking away. The other two look at him and say,
"Where are you going?" The third mouse looks at the other two and
says, "I'm going home to fuck the cat."
|SITES OF THE
|Dating Tips -Get a
Second Date. |
Penetration -Religious Experience.
-People with Too Much TIme!!
|Suv -Future Of! |
|Criplexxx -Hot Handicapped
|Useless Fact OF
THE WEEK |
|The American League of
Physical Culture, the first nudist organization in the United
States, was founded on December 4, 1929. |
suggestions to mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org?subject=stimes_sexcapades
Q: submitted by
Hey JD, i've got an unusual problem and it will sound
weird. My dong is too big. I know this sounds stupid but i am only
young and whenever i have sex with a girl they always complain that
it hurts too much, i have been asked to stop half way through a
number of times and have even had a girl cry while we are doin it.
Apart from this ruining my sex life i feel bad for the girl and it
is embarrassing. I was wondering if you knew any natural ways that i
could shrink my dong. i know this sounds drastic but i have tried
everything else i can think of including goin slow and not puttni
much in, please help.
what you have is a
gift young grasshopper. you just must learn how to master this sword
that has been given to you. seriously though, unless your dick is
thicker than a coke can and over 12 inches you'll be all right. lets
remember that a vagina is elastic enough to pop a baby out. the
problem is if you are on the bigger side you just can not go tearin'
into the pussy like a bag of sun chips when you've got the munchies.
the pussy needs to be warmed up so that it is both lubricated enough
and elastic enough to take a big penis. a pre-intercourse orgasm
(oral, vibrator, etc..) is a no brainer. you need to get that pussy
good and ready. after an orgasm a girl's body is on "pins and
needles" and just ready for some more. this is the time to try to
slip that johnson of yours in. the thing that you need to remember
is that if your dick is really big you are going to be causing lots
of friction so you can not just go in there like a jack hammer.
first put some water soluble lubrication on your dick. then slowly
slide it in at 1/4 of an inch increments..each time taking a few
minutes to kiss your girl's lips, neck and nipples. now if you can
make it all the way in so that your pubic bone is flush with her
clit then you are good to go. if your dick is to long and you can
not do this then have her rub her clit instead. at this point things
should be on cruise control. if a girl has already had an orgasm,
has been teased for 20 or so minutes with a huge cock and is rubbing
her clit the orgasms just come rolling in. remember to keep the in
and out movement very minimal..about a half inch should do. once you
feel your girl has had enough orgasms and you'd like to cum just
increase the distance, slowly, in your thrusts. after a few orgasms
her pussy should be able to handle your extra size no problem. there
you have it..its just that simple. make sure to drop me a line after
you've tried these techniques. ;-)
clip OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you
a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or
sent in by you guys.
to view clip: right click mouse and
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Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:email@example.com?subject=stimes_video.
|BATON ROUGE, LA. A
Louisiana woman is suing Nintendo, alleging her 30-year-old
son suffered seizures after playing video games for eight
hours a day, six days a week. The lawsuit filed in federal
court says the man died last year after hitting his head and
mouth on a table during one of the seizures. It claims the man
never had seizures before buying a Nintendo-64 player in 1999.
His mother is seeking unspecified damages for her own medical
and funeral expenses, for mental and emotional anguish, and
for her son's lost future earnings. A spokesman for Nintendo
is declining comment on the lawsuit. In court records, the
company denies any wrongdoing.
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"When Bud said he had a
grass habit no one could have guessed!" -G
"just think last week i was the enron ceo" -LO
After a rough
first week in prison, Terence quickly became Rocco's bitch."
contributions or suggestions to mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org?subject=stimes_caption