For The Week Of 02/27/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


A man goes to church to pray for his gambling addiction to be cured. God answers his prayers, but says he must gamble one more time, and whatever he wins, he must give half to the church.

The man agrees, and heads to the nearest casino.

He sits down at a blackjack table.

He gets a 2 and 5. He has 7

"What should i do God" he asks
"Take a hit" God replies.

The man takes a hit, he gets a 5, he has 12.

"What should i do God" he asks
"Take a hit" God replies.

He takes another it, he gets a 4. He has 16

"What should i do God" he asks
"Take a hit" God replies.

He takes another hit, a 3. He has 19

"What should i do God" he asks
"Take a hit" God replies.

The man takes a hit, he gets an Ace! 20!

"What should i do God" he asks
"Take a hit" God replies.

The man takes a hit, ANOTHER ACE! He has 21!

At this point Gods screaming 'UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Optical illusions -Great Collection!
Biscuit City -Too Much Time!
Movie Quiz -Fun Times
Weed Operation-Damn!
ID The Creep -Fun Times
The Bar -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Video Game Rentals!
Ever scratch your Halo disk in a fit of rage? You be back to your clan war in no time with this simple trick. Head over to Blockbuster, rent the exact same game, and just Swap your scratched disk for the rented one and return the case. For just the price of a one-day rental, you'll be back to your clan war in no time.

contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Jackie
I recently had sex for the first time, and it really hurt. Is this normal, and what can I do to make it less painful?
A:
Experiencing pain the first time you have sex is quite common. There are a variety of reasons why this may have happened in your case. Maybe your hymen (a thin membrane of tissue that partially blocks the vaginal opening) was still intact. Or, perhaps you weren't sufficiently aroused. When you're turned on, the vaginal canal lengthens and expands (so your man's penis can fit), and you produce lubrication (to prevent uncomfortable friction from his thrusting). It's also possible that you were just nervous (after all, it was your first time), which would cause your vaginal muscles to tighten, making penetration more difficult. The great thing about sex: The more experience you have, the easier -- and more enjoyable -- it becomes. So, when you do the deed again, make sure you indulge in lots of foreplay. Try to relax and just focus on how great your guy is making you feel. It will also help if you add water-based lube to your vagina for easier penetration. Make it part of preplay by having him lube you, then return the favor and apply it to his condom-covered erection right before he enters you. Once he's securely inside of you, start off nice and slow. In other words, you don't want him thrusting full throttle the second he penetrates you. It's important that you communicate to him what feels good and what doesn't. You can let him know what you need by saying things like, "A little slower," "Not so hard," "Just like that" and so on. Since your natural lubrication will wax and wane throughout the session, keep the lubricant at hand so you can reapply it any time you start to get a little dry. Also, you might want to try a woman-on-top position, which will put you in control of the depth and rhythm. Once you get used to the ins and outs of sex, it should be a lot more comfortable -- and fun. However, if the pain still persists after several sack sessions, you might want to get checked out by your gyno.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Crash Horror!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "crash.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "crash.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
KDKA) McKeesport KDKA’s Ralph Iannotti reports that a man went into a local store and asked the clerk to warm up - in the microwave - what appears to be a severed male body part. Customers going in and out of the Giant Eagle Get-Go mini market on 5th Avenue in McKeesport didn't know what to think when they saw police activity on the scene. A man walked in and asked a female clerk if she could use the store microwave to warm up something he had wrapped in a paper towel. Concerned about an unusual odor from the oven, the clerk opened the microwave to check on the item and out tumbled what appeared to be a severed human penis, wrapped up in the paper towel. Police were called immediately and the man ran out of the store empty handed. “Hopefully, they're looking for the person this belongs to,” said Sandy Furman, of McKeesport. “I think that's the one they ought to look for - the one who may be hurt,” said Denny Adler, of McKeesport. “It's shocking that I'm not (surprised). It's just the nature of the beast.” As McKeesport police continue to look into the case, sources say that county homicide detectives have been notified of the incident in case a crime was committed outside McKeesport
 
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"don't be tailgating my ass!" -Jason
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"QUICK ROBIN...TO THE BUTT-MOBILE!!!!"-LIkes
"It’s a bird! It’s a plane! NO… It’s just fucking retarted"-Danny



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