For The Week Of 02/28/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.

When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well, "he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.

So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.

I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Lost America -Eye Candy
Flappy Bunny -Flash!
Cooking Skills -Lean Basic Skills!
Things My girlfriend And I Have Argued About -HIlarious
Would YOu Fuck her -OMG
Alpine Skiing -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Hotels And Motel!
Need a place to crash but out of cash? Tell a lie and save $$$. Go to your local Holiday Inn and inquire about prices, when told of the $100+ room rates ask to see the manager, when this person comes out tell the person that your mother just passed away with cancer and that you need a place for ____ nights, ask for a discount and unless your talking to a bitch/bastard, its human nature to be compassionette.
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Micheal
What can I do to shorten the length of time between ejaculating and being able to ejaculate again? It takes me hours to 'recharge' and always has. If it matters any, I am in my early twenties.

A:
It's the refractory period that is causing you grief here. That is the time after ejaculation during which men are not able to achieve another erection. It may last from a few minutes to a few hours depending on the man. Usually, teenage boys have very short refractory periods that get longer as they get older. Having a long refractory period is not really considered a problem. Unless of course, it's happening to you. And while some doctors may be willing to give you Viagra, you are not really having an erectile dysfunction here.

The best solution for you may be to learn to separate orgasm and ejaculation. Ejaculation and orgasm are two distinct physiological events, although in men they often occur so close together, that we just assume ejaculation is orgasm. Not true. In fact, many men learn to control their ejaculations so they can experience multiple orgasms without worrying about the refractory period. It's the ejaculation that keeps you from having sex immediately again not the orgasm.

There are a couple of books available on the topic of delaying ejaculation. Male Sexual Endurance by Robert Birch, The Multi-Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia and Douglas Araba, and How to Make Love all Night by Barbara Kessling. I have not read any of these, I just wanted you to know they are out there. There are also probably several books on Taoist sexual practices which emphasize, in part, delaying ejaculation.

What it all comes down to is learning to control those responses you thought were inevitable. You stimulate yourself to the point where you are about reach orgasm, then you stop for 20 seconds until the urge passes. You learn to breathe deeply and relax your pelvic muscles. You do this several times. In order to do this successfully, it is important to develop awareness and control of your pubococcyegeus muscle. This group of muscles also know as the PC muscle runs from the pubic bone to the tailbone and surrounds the genitals. Women are encouraged to do PC exercises otherwise known as Kegels to enhance sexual performance, control incontinence, and restore muscle tone after child birth. But men can do them too! You can find your PC muscle by stopping the flow of urine. The muscle you use to do this is your PC muscle. Once you find it, the next step is to exercise it by tightening and relaxing it. Practice your breathing while you do this. Inhale and contract at the same time. Hold your breath and the contraction, then release. It's that easy. The best part about it is that you don't have to leave your desk to do this workout. Try it the next time you're bored in a meeting. It's a great way to stay awake. Doing your Kegels will tone the muscles making them more flexible and better able to transmit sensations. Kegels will also teach you to control your PC muscle during sex which many people swear by for having great sex.

To achieve multiple orgasms, some men contract their PC muscle to stop ejaculation. They contract during moments of high arousal and gradually build to orgasm. Then they squeeze their PC muscle long and hard and have an orgasm without ejaculation allowing them to continue having sex. Of course there are also men who believe contracting their PC muscle will cause ejaculation and the trick is really to keep the PC muscle completely relaxed. You will have to figure out which way works best for you. As you practice these techniques, you can try positions that give you less muscle tension for instance with your partner on top. This may make it easier to focus on your PC muscle.

Give this a try before looking into drugs or questionable herbal products. Check out the books available for more detailed information. There are so many people men and women who swear by these techniques that it's worth a shot. You may just find yourself a Kegel enthusiast too.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


The Unkown Yo-Yo Boy
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "yoyo.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "yoyo.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES

ISTANBUL (AFP) - Two Turkish prison inmates who drilled a nine-centimetre (3.6-inch) aperture between their cells enabling them to have sexual relations in prison that produced a child, received four-month sentences for damaging public property. The lawsuit against the Gorilla Foundation and its president, Francine "Penny" Patterson, the longtime trainer of the well-known gorilla, was filed this week in San Mateo County Superior Court. It seeks damages totaling more than $1 million.

Convicted murderer Seylan Corduk, 40, and Kadriye Fikret Oget, 27, serving time for planting a bomb in a market, managed to drive the hole through their concrete communal cell wall, according to court records quoted by the newspapers Vatan et Hurriyet.

The guilty pair each originally received one-year sentences plus a 218-million-Turkish-lira fine (128 euros, 169 dollars).

But the court reduced the penalty to four months and 72 million lira "in view of the neglible nature of the damage caused."

 
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Where will you be when your Diarrhea comes back
!"-Lion
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