For The Week Of 03/01/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to Please give us feedback too!


Two bored old ladies are sitting on a park bench. One says, “For five bucks I’ll streak through the flower show across the street.” They shake on it. Waiting outside the flower show, her friend soon hears a commotion in the convention hall, followed by loud applause. Then the naked granny bursts out through the door with a cheering crowd behind her. “What happened?” asks her friend. “I won first prize for best dried arrangement!”

Safe For Work Porn -WTF!
Iraq Ready For Democracy -Flash!
Bar Tending Guide! -Great Tips
Dating Site Pics -What They Say About The Person!
Great Billboards -The Truth In Advertising!
Hand Eye Cordination -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Software Companies!
Want to enjoy the conveniences of modern computer software without all the inconveniences of working to pay for it? Scrape together the necessary dough and purchase the chosen program. Carefully open the shrink-wrap and keep it with all its stickers intact. Install the software in your computer, then put everything back in the box and take it to Blockbuster. Every Blockbuster is equipped with a shrink-wrapping machine—all you have to do is slip one of the high-school-register goons a little beer money to have him seal it up for you. If you really want to be thorough, take all the stickers off the old wrapping and affix them to the newly shrink-wrapped packaging. Finally, take it back and get your money. Hah! Take that, Gates! Upgrade every three months, you prick
contributions or suggestions to

Q: submited by Hilary
For some strange reason I don't want a boyfriend. I've felt this way for a couple of months now and I'm starting to wonder if something's wrong with me. Is it okay to want to just hang out with guys and kiss them and have a good time or do I have a problem?

Nope, you're totally normal. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that this is one of the healthiest and most balanced Love Q&A letters I've ever read. You're probably feeling like you should want a boyfriend because that's what your friends want (or obsess about). But as you already realize, dating casually can be just as—if not more—fun than being tied to one boy. Not to play down the awesomeness of having an automatic prom date and the overall good feeling of love, but becoming serious also often means giving up a lot of freedom. You're probably just not ready for that. Now's the time to get to know a bunch of different guys (platonically or romantically). It'll help you figure out the kind of person you want your future boyfriend to be.


This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Always Wear Your Seat Belt!

to view clip: right click flash and choose "save target as" option. save the file "sbelt.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "sbelt.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.

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Ariel Alonso, who lives near Roanoke, Va., was indignant when the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration wrongly accused him of setting up a methamphetamine lab, and asked rhetorically, after the charges were dropped in January, "How do I get my ... dignity back?" The laboratory of Alonso (and his then-partner Jonathan Conrad) was in reality making the so-called "fluid of life," which they goaded customers into buying (at $20 to $40 a dose) by claiming that it is the component of human cells and can cleanse people internally and build new tissue, even though it was just potassium chloride and white grape juice. (That, apparently, is the business plan that gave Alonso "dignity.") [Roanoke Times, 1-25-04]

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks

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" name is Forest Glump....yes Glump.!!"-Terri
"it's got a HEMI"-Todd
"Give me 4 Big Macs and a diet coke"-Jack

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