For The Week Of 03/03/02
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

There once was a magical frog who lived in a huge forest. The forest was so big that he had never seen another animal as long as he lived. One day he was walking to the stream when he happened to come across a bear chasing a rabbit for his lunch. He stopped them and called them over and said "I'm a magical frog. Seeing as you are the first two animals I've ever seen in my life, I'll give you each three wishes. You may have one wish at a time, and the bear may go first, because he is the biggest." The bear thinks about it for a while and finally says "I wish every bear in this forest besides me was a female." The frog snaps his fingers and says "It is done. Every other bear in this forest is now female. Rabbit, what's your first wish?" The rabbit quickly says "I want a crash helmet". The frog thought this was a bit weird, but said nothing. He snapped his fingers and a crash helmet appeared in front of the rabbit, who then strapped it on without thinking twice. The frog turns to the bear and says "What's your second wish?" The bear says "Well.. I wish every bear in the NEXT forest was a female." The frog snaps his fingers and says "It is done. Every bear in the next forest is female. Rabbit- Your next wish?" The rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. This was too much for the bear, who thought the rabbit was wasting his wishes. "What the hell are you doing? Why don't you wish for all the money in the world and go BUY a motorcycle??" The rabbit replies "No, I want a motorcycle NOW" So the frog snaps his fingers and a motorbike magically appears in front of the rabbit, who proceeds to hop on and gun the engine. The frog then asked the bear what his last wish would be. "Gee," said the bear, "this is going GREAT! I wish every other bear in the WORLD besides me was a female!" The frog snaps his fingers and says "It is done. Every bear on earth besides you is female. Rabbit, what's your last wish?" The rabbit said- "I wish the bear was a fag".

SITES OF THE WEEK
Virtual Crack -The Cheapest High Ever.
Princesses -Disney Roundtable Discussion.
Pimp Fiction -About to take Over!!
Brains for Zombies -Umm Tasty!
Male Pregnency -First Ever!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Rental Car Companies!

Let’s say you’ve got to return a rented car. Well, sometimes you’re just too damn lazy to return it! So, park it where you want, call the rental place and tell them the engine stalled on you during traffic. Go on further to say you’re terrified to drive it anywhere, and you’re lucky to be alive! Tell them where you left it, and they’ll come pick it up. To top that off, they’ll actually apologize for the inconvenience.


contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by J.B.

Here's my problem in the short form. Me and this girl, who recently moved a few states away have grown very, VERY close over the phone. We have spoken of our feelings but there are two problems. First, she's married. Unhappily and growing to hate her husband every day all the more. He doesn't appreciate, respect, spend time with her, or be there the way a husband should. She has tried to work it out, but he continually fails to see her needs, wrapped up in nothing but his, usually video games of all things(and she is so fine, the dude must have turned gay to turn her down). We've said that she will try to work it out, but i'm worried i'm leaving her an out to not try hard enough. What you think on that one? Second problem is she has an STD, genital warts to be specific. She got it from him and feels stuck with him now, like she is being punished. I've told her if we ever hooked up that it wouldn't bother me, and it wouldn't. Love isn't about things like that, it's soo much more.Your thought on this would help a lot as well. Sorry for the long e-mail, just be glad i DID give you the short form of it(lol). Keep up the good work and giving the great advice that you have for us poor fools out here. -

A:
sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. lots of people go through their whole life never even coming close to figuring out how to love someone. it sounds like you really care about this girl and more importantly you know how she should be treated. i do, however, think you need to try and stay as objective as possible when talking about her current relationship with her. if you do indeed care for her as much as i think you do her happiness would be what is most important to you. if you are trying to influence her to split up with her husband b/c she is unhappy right now you might be doing her a disservice. everybody experiences tough times in their marriage and it is part of growing the relationship stronger. i think it becomes a dead end when one, or both, of the people involved give up trying for an extended period of time. i think the best thing you can do is exactly what you are doing now...just be there for her. it is VERY important that she has someone that she trusts to vent to. i wouldn't stress about leaving her an out. she is married and in another state. i think those are two things to keep her from acting on a whim and ensures that she has time to think about any decisions she might make regarding you guys. just be there for her and everything will fall into place. if it was meant to be i guarantee it will happen..just don't try and force it. it is also great that you don't make her feel like she is stuck with him b/c of an std. it is an unfortunate thing that often happens to people that trust a person close to them. you are right on target by realizing that love is greater than things like that, much greater in fact. if i can tell that you are a very caring person from an email i am sure that this girl knows exactly how special of a person you are. just continue to support her like you are and "let the water flow the path of least resistance." my guess is it will flow just where you want it to. ;-)

-JD

 
clip OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


College Shaming!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "shaming.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "shaming.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


Dont Drink and Pass Out!!!


Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Zulu traditionalists in KwaZulu Natal province, South Africa, who have routinely tested females for virginity, are trying to create jobs for men to virginity-test other males by performing any of several unconventional procedures. Spraying urine (vs. a straight stream); the lack of a visible penile vein; the looseness of the light underside of the foreskin; and the darkness of a male's knees, are all evidence that the male is not a virgin, said a leader of the pro-testing movement. [The Mercury, 1-31-02]

 
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"Honey…Are we going to make this video or not? I’ve got $500 bucks to make at the Sublime Directory Basement!!" -Jacob
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"When Han's away...Chewbacca will play" -Jude
"Does this make my ass look fat." -walter




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