There once was a magical frog who lived in a huge forest. The forest was so big that he had never seen another animal as long as he lived. One day he was walking to the stream when he happened to come across a bear chasing a rabbit for his lunch. He stopped them and called them over and said "I'm a magical frog. Seeing as you are the first two animals I've ever seen in my life, I'll give you each three wishes. You may have one wish at a time, and the bear may go first, because he is the biggest." The bear thinks about it for a while and finally says "I wish every bear in this forest besides me was a female." The frog snaps his fingers and says "It is done. Every other bear in this forest is now female. Rabbit, what's your first wish?" The rabbit quickly says "I want a crash helmet". The frog thought this was a bit weird, but said nothing. He snapped his fingers and a crash helmet appeared in front of the rabbit, who then strapped it on without thinking twice. The frog turns to the bear and says "What's your second wish?" The bear says "Well.. I wish every bear in the NEXT forest was a female." The frog snaps his fingers and says "It is done. Every bear in the next forest is female. Rabbit- Your next wish?" The rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. This was too much for the bear, who thought the rabbit was wasting his wishes. "What the hell are you doing? Why don't you wish for all the money in the world and go BUY a motorcycle??" The rabbit replies "No, I want a motorcycle NOW" So the frog snaps his fingers and a motorbike magically appears in front of the rabbit, who proceeds to hop on and gun the engine. The frog then asked the bear what his last wish would be. "Gee," said the bear, "this is going GREAT! I wish every other bear in the WORLD besides me was a female!" The frog snaps his fingers and says "It is done. Every bear on earth besides you is female. Rabbit, what's your last wish?" The rabbit said- "I wish the bear was a fag".

Q: submitted by J.B.

Here's my problem in the short form. Me and this girl, who recently moved a few states away have grown very, VERY close over the phone. We have spoken of our feelings but there are two problems. First, she's married. Unhappily and growing to hate her husband every day all the more. He doesn't appreciate, respect, spend time with her, or be there the way a husband should. She has tried to work it out, but he continually fails to see her needs, wrapped up in nothing but his, usually video games of all things(and she is so fine, the dude must have turned gay to turn her down). We've said that she will try to work it out, but i'm worried i'm leaving her an out to not try hard enough. What you think on that one? Second problem is she has an STD, genital warts to be specific. She got it from him and feels stuck with him now, like she is being punished. I've told her if we ever hooked up that it wouldn't bother me, and it wouldn't. Love isn't about things like that, it's soo much more.Your thought on this would help a lot as well. Sorry for the long e-mail, just be glad i DID give you the short form of it(lol). Keep up the good work and giving the great advice that you have for us poor fools out here. -

A:
sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. lots of people go through their whole life never even coming close to figuring out how to love someone. it sounds like you really care about this girl and more importantly you know how she should be treated. i do, however, think you need to try and stay as objective as possible when talking about her current relationship with her. if you do indeed care for her as much as i think you do her happiness would be what is most important to you. if you are trying to influence her to split up with her husband b/c she is unhappy right now you might be doing her a disservice. everybody experiences tough times in their marriage and it is part of growing the relationship stronger. i think it becomes a dead end when one, or both, of the people involved give up trying for an extended period of time. i think the best thing you can do is exactly what you are doing now...just be there for her. it is VERY important that she has someone that she trusts to vent to. i wouldn't stress about leaving her an out. she is married and in another state. i think those are two things to keep her from acting on a whim and ensures that she has time to think about any decisions she might make regarding you guys. just be there for her and everything will fall into place. if it was meant to be i guarantee it will happen..just don't try and force it. it is also great that you don't make her feel like she is stuck with him b/c of an std. it is an unfortunate thing that often happens to people that trust a person close to them. you are right on target by realizing that love is greater than things like that, much greater in fact. if i can tell that you are a very caring person from an email i am sure that this girl knows exactly how special of a person you are. just continue to support her like you are and "let the water flow the path of least resistance." my guess is it will flow just where you want it to. ;-)

-JD