For The Week Of 03/05/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Son asks his mother the following question: "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure." The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. "Dad why are wedding dresses white?" The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Goooooaaaaaaalllllliiiiieeee -Amazing
BillBoards -Top Ten
Girls -Of Engineering
Pride -Greatest KO
Gorgeous George-Prank Calls
Speed Cluster-Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Condom
How long has that condom been in your wallet. Last time you got laid Bush was in charge of the country, Bush Sr. that is. So now you have a huge circle on the wallet. Here is how to take it off. Use your lighter and go over the mark. The leather in the wallet will heat up and then using your fingers just smooth out the circle. Presto, no more condom mark. And for god sakes, replace the condom. Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by F
My new girlfriend loves to have her feet rubbed. Iíd like to, but I donít have a clue how. Can you help?

A:

I consulted my massage therapist and reflexologist friend to help out on this one. Hereís what she says: # Have her sit comfortably on a couch or in a reclining chair and position yourself in front of her, foot level. Start out by wrapping her toes in a hot towel. This not only cleans out the cheese, but relaxes her dogs as well. A few drops of peppermint essential oil in the towel is a nice bonus, as it will make her feet feel all tingly. # Have some lotion or oil on hand to facilitate smooth moves. Rub some between your palms to warm, then, one leg at a time, start with long, steady strokes down her calves toward her heel. Continue up under her foot toward her toes. # Next, work the bottoms of her feet. Use two hands to hold her gunboats up, using your thumbs to press on the heel and ball of her foot. (Go easy on the instep. That tendon is tender!) # Play nice with each wittle piggy by squeezing and pulling on them slightly. Slightly, I said! # Then, work up over the top of her foot by running your thumb between those ropy tendons controlling her toes. # For the finale, hold her by the ankle, then, placing her foot up to your palm as if it were a brake pedal, press her foot toward her, then pull it back. Finish off with a little circular motion. # Remember at all times to keep the pressure firm but gentle (just like that warden back in the pen), and soon her feet wonít be the only thing youíre rubbing.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Kung Fu Stance!!

 
 




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A taxi driver who thought he was witnessing an attempted rape ran over the supposed rapist. But the man turned out to be the woman's boyfriend. The incident happened on Saturday night in Svedmyra, southern Stockholm. The taxi driver, who is in his sixties, saw two men running after a half-naked woman. Believing that they were attacking her he accelerated, knocking one of the men over. It soon transpired that the man was not a rapist, but the woman's boyfriend. "According to the parties, this was not a rape. The woman and her boyfriend had had a row, and in her anger she had run out," said Tommy Jansson of Stockholm police. The 20-year-old boyfriend was taken to hospital, but is not seriously injured, according to police. The taxi driver fled the scene, but later reported what had happened to police in Nacka. Police say they suspect him of serious assault.
 
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Winner
"hey..... it's a geezer and a teaser!"-Rick
Runners-up
"Looks like Captain Ahab has found his whale tail"-Rich
"Pepsi if you wanna bang the next generation"-Phil
"You wanna hear me play the old "two string banjo"-spoilt



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