For The Week Of 03/08/2010
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

One day a hooker went to file her taxes, and under "occupation" she put prostitution. The tax collector explained that prostitution was an illegal occupation. She said she'd have to go home and think about it and that she'd call him back in a hour with her occupation. An hour later she called him and said, "I've got it... I'm a chicken farmer." He said, "How do you get chicken farmer out of prostitution." She said, "I raised over a thousand cocks last year."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Kill Bill Gets Put -To Shame!
Hot Actresses That Wont -Derobe!
Where To Use Your -Batman Voice!
Whats Your Inner -Geek!
Lady Vaga -Poker Face!
Polar Bear Payback -Game of the Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How To Interpret Body Language.
Tip #1: Prepare For Court:Obtain a copy of the subpoena that you were served requiring you to testify at the preliminary hearing, if you haven't already. If you have lost your original subpoena, you can contact the clerk of the court where the criminal matter is being handled and request a new copy by providing the docket number or the name of the individual who is being charged. If you have legal representation, provide your attorney with a copy of the subpoena immediately.. Tip #2: Prepare to attend the preliminary hearing. This is the first chance you will have to take the fifth, so you'll definitely want to be present. Dress accordingly: business professional, which means a knee-length skirt, conservative dress or full-length slacks, button-down shirt, conservative blouse or sweater, and a suit jacket for women; slacks, a button-down shirt or polo, suit jacket or three-piece suit, and tie for men. No sneakers, jeans, t-shirts, tracksuits, dresses, revealing clothing, "club wear," ripped or stained clothing, or anything you wouldn't wear to Sunday mass for either gender. Remember, the courtroom is not the place to be setting fashion trends. The goal is to look as professional as possible and blend in with the rest of the crowd. Tip #3: Arrive at court on the day the hearing is scheduled at least 20 minutes early. Bring along your copy of the subpoena, your photo identification (like your driver's license) and any other documents related to the case that you previously received. Enter the room where the hearing is schedule; you can ask a security guard or clerk for assistance. Find a seat in the gallery and wait quietly. When the bailiff calls the case name and docket for which you were called to testify, approach. Tip #4: Pleading The Fifth: When you are called to the stand to testify, you will hear the prosecutor say something akin to, "the prosecution calls (your name) to the witness stand." Approach the witness stand, which is the box located next to the judge's bench at the head of the courtroom. The bailiff will then ask you if you "swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, under penalty of perjury, so help you God?" Respond with "I do" or "yes," then sit down. Tip #5: Immediately after sitting, turn to the judge and say, "Your honor, I respectfully invoke my rights under the Fifth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution on the grounds that answering questions may incriminate me." The judge may direct you to provide your full name, to which you should comply. Answering any other questions will effectively waive your right to take the fifth, and you will then need to answer any additional questions asked of you while on the stand. Tip #6: Wait until you are excused from the witness stand, then step down and return to the gallery. If you have no other business in court to attend to, you may leave as soon as you are excused. Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by: Jason.

Hi Tina, I wanted to know if the size of womens vaginas vary based on their height or weight? Ive had a thick girlfriend and my ex was quite thin. The thing is my current girlfriend has a big vaginal lips. Like thicker and meater. My ex who was thinner had barely any labia. Is It also bigger inside due to weight and height?

A:
Dear Jason, No, "vagina size" both in length and width, varies internally by the woman's state of arousal, not their physical attributes like height/weight. Usually a relaxed vagina measures about three - four inches and upto five - six inches when aroused. In width, the vagina is usually less than an inch relaxed and can widen up to two inches when aroused. The outter lips varies with the person. I dont think it has much to do with height and very little with weight. Good Luck Babe!

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.
Static Cat V Balloon !
 
 

Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
(March 5) -- When Houston lawyer William Ogletree lost his coat at the Houston George Bush Intercontinental Airport, he didn't kick himself for being careless or rush out to buy a new one. Instead, he decided to sue. Before hopping a flight to Las Vegas on Dec. 30, Ogletree, 62, left his $800 black leather coat at a Famous Famiglia fast-food pizza restaurant at the Houston airport. When he returned to get the coat, it had -- perhaps unsurprisingly -- vanished. Now Ogletree is threatening to sue the city of Houston, Continental Airlines and the company that manages the food court, saying one of them should have "collected the coat, kept it in a secure place and held it for a reasonable period of time for the owner to locate it." "Each of the ... entities are pointing their fingers at the other entities and all deny that they have the coat," Ogletree wrote in a litigation threat letter dated Jan. 18 and obtained by The Smoking Gun. "They were responsible for securing it and keeping it safe." While some would argue that Ogletree alone was responsible for his coat ("Polo with a plaid lining," as he describes it), he alleges that his precious outerwear was a victim of a poorly managed lost-and-found process -- a duty Ogletree claims the airport, airline and management company breached. Though he isn't exactly sure which is responsible. "All of the three entities need to come to an agreement on which party is responsible and notify me," Ogletree wrote. In his letter, Ogletree offered to drop the legal action if one of the entities (any of them, really) would compensate him for the $800 cost of the coat by Jan. 28. Harlan Heilman of the city of Houston's legal department told the Houston Press today that no suit has been filed yet. "We wrote him a letter saying the government is immune from this type of suit," he said. "We haven't heard back." One New York lawyer told AOL News that Ogletree's threatened legal action is baseless. "Just because he left something on someone's real property doesn't invoke any duty for them to protect his personal property," the lawyer said.
 
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