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OF THE WEEK
A kindergarten teacher asks her class, “What vegetable makes eyes water?” One boy raises his hand and says, “An eggplant.” “No,” says the teacher. “An onion.” “An onion?” asks the boy. “Ever been hit in the balls with an eggplant?”
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submited by Harold
I'm an 18-year-old male, I’m very healthy, and I stay in shape. I'm very confident about myself, but when it comes to foreplay and intimate kissing my penis is up and ready to go. Is this a natural thing? It's sort of embarrassing to be making out with a female and have my partner poking her in the leg. Could you tell me what’s going on?
It sounds to me like the only problem you have is that you’ve never received a lesson on the birds and the bees. So, here’s a quick rundown: Your penis becomes erect while kissing and touching a woman because it’s supposed to. You’re partaking in an activity called “foreplay” -- an interlude to sex through which your body prepares for intercourse. In other words, you shouldn’t be embarrassed that your “member” is poking her leg. In fact, she’d probably be insulted if it didn’t.
CLIP OF THE WEEK
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Fortune cookies help cops nab suspect
Fri Mar 7, 10:35 PM ET
TULSA, Okla. - Two fortune cookies helped Tulsa police make an arrest after a pair of break-ins Chinese restaurants. Terrence Middleton, 30, was booked Friday on charges of second-degree burglary and attempted second-degree burglary after police responded to a burglar alarm to find him with more than $20 in coins and the cookies in his pockets, Officer Leland Ashley said. Middleton was being held on $15,000 bond. Ashley said police were able to link Middleton to the Asian Express that was robbed because he had possession of the same type of fortune cookies that were at the restaurant. The alarm went off at the Asian Express about 14 minutes after one sounded at the Chinese Chef Restaurant down the street Thursday night, Ashley said. When officers arrived, both restaurants had their front doors broken. At the second restaurant, the cash register had been pulled open. Minutes later, officers stopped Middleton, who was walking down the street, and he dropped various coins and a prison identification card, Ashley said.
Ashley said it appeared there was nothing stolen from the first restaurant, and all that was missing from the second restaurant was $20 in change — and the fortune cookies.
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