For The Week Of 03/11/2013
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A girl was a prostitute, but she did not want her grandma to know. One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and she was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway. Suddenly the girl's grandma came by and saw her. ''Why are you standing in line, dear?'' she asked. Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, the girl told her that the policemen were passing out free oranges. ''Why, that is awfully nice of them! I think I'll get some for myself,'' said the grandma. A policeman went down the line, asking for information from all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he exclaimed, ''Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?'' Grandma replied, ''Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take out my dentures and suck them dry!''

SITES OF THE WEEK
Blockbusters -Before VFX
Einstein's -Calculation Notebook
A Digital -Moshpit Simulation
That Username -Is Already Taken
Every Single -Fucking Website
Cleansing -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
TaskBoard Brings iOS-Style Multitasking to OSX

OS X: While it's not without its shortcomings, the iOS multitasking tray is an efficient way to move between apps. If you like it, TaskBoard can replicate the same experience on your Mac. Once you install TaskBoard, you'll be able to launch the multitasking tray with a custom keyboard shortcut or a five-finger swipe. As you'd expect, you can just click the icon you want to switch to that app. In practice, I found it was tough to use the multitouch gesture without accidentally using four fingers and launching Mission Control, but it's nice to have the option. In my use, TaskBoard made it quicker to navigate between apps than Mission Control, especially when I had a lot of open windows. If you really like it, you can use an app like BetterTouchTool to map it to CMD+Tab or a more intuitive gesture. TaskBoard is a free beta, so it's definitely worth giving a try.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Matthew C

"So, I recently got my first blowjob from this girl, but I didn't really feel anything. I felt her mouth, but aside from that, nothing. It being my first time on the receiving end of oral, I'm just not sure if it was just nerves or if she wasn't that good, but is it supposed to feel like anything more than that?"

A:

"Some women think that putting a dick in their mouth and running their lips up and down the shaft is a blow job. It sounds like that is what you got. A woman skilled in the art will suck in her cheeks to apply pressure to the dick. She will also be playful with her tongue on the most sensitive parts of the penis. Next time she does it, tell her pretend your dick is a Popsicle and she is trying to suck the juice out of it. While she is doing that, she moves her lips up and down the shaft, flicking at the tip of your dick with her tongue. When she can do that effectively, she won't need any hands."

-TrueLoveSwallows

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Hooters Ballgirl


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
EVERETT, WA -- A corrections officer has been charged with providing a 22-year-old female inmate with homemade chocolate chip cookies in exchage for sexual contact, police charge. According to a probable cause affidavit, Abner Canda--a 58-year-old guard at the county jail in Everett, Washington--engaged in several sexual interations with the inmate, who is only identified by the initials “C.D.”

The woman told investigators that, “I showed him my breasts, willingly for some food” last May. After being released from the jail, she returned to the lockup in October and soon had another illicit encounter with the married Canda, who began working as a corrections officer in 2007. Canda, the inmate said, came to her room in mid-November and “kissed me and touched my breasts and also put his hand down my pants and placed his finger inside of [my vagina],” according to the Superior Court affidavit. On a subsequent occasion, Canda performed oral sex on “C.D.”

The inmate told police that, “in exchange for the aforementioned sexual favors, Defendant gave her homemade chocolate chip cookies.” “C.D.” said that she decided to tell investigators about her encounters with Canda because she felt “guilty for doing what I did,” adding that, “I’m ashamed for my actions that’s why I’m saying something.” In light of “C.D.”’s claims, detectives spoke with other female inmates, “at least two of whom suggested that they…had sexual contact” with Canda. One of the women “even claimed that she had been, in her words, ‘dating’ Defendant while an inmate.”

Canda was charged this week with custodial sexual misconduct, a felony, for his alleged sexual encounters with “C.D.” Canda has been on paid administrative leave from his jail post since January.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION--GET FREE STUFF!

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This Weeks



Last Weeks


Winner
"Careful, ladies: one false move and I'll shoot...my wad." -TK

Runner-up
"It is my duty to stare at them titties until this game is over." -Sasha



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