For The Week Of 03/12/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football." A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score." After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7" Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score." Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally shits in the bed. The wife says, "What the hell was that?" The old man says, "Half time, switch sides"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Slipery Nipple -WTF?
No Direction -Bob Dylan
Neave strobe -Trippy
Click On Pictures -Find Out About Yourself
Extreme Earth-The World
Project Two-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Condom
If the wads of toilet paper or styptic pencils are just not doing it for ya anymore, you might want to try ChapStick the next time you nick yourself shaving. It does actually work pretty well on the smaller cuts, however, you probably do not want to use the lip balm on the bigger cuts and I would recommend staying away from the flavored stuff; it leaves a weird color on your face. Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by G
A few weeks ago, I had sex with my girlfriend five times in one night. We were both psyched about it, but the next night, I felt so much pressure to do it again that I couldn't perform. The problem won't go away, and we haven't been able to have sex. What can I do to stop freaking out so much?

A:

Five times! Poor things! I'm tired just reading about it! No wonder you are having trouble getting it up now. You've paralyzed yourself by achieving a score that will be extremely difficult to improve on. Your body and your mind are rebelling because you seem to have forgotten what lovemaking is really all about. So before you start popping Viagra or seeking sex therapy, you and your girlfriend should remind each other that sex between two caring people has to do with quality, not quantity. Plan a night in a big bed with soft lights and music. Take a bubble bath together and share a bottle of wine. Tell each other secrets you've never told before. If you must satisfy your boyish self-competing drive, then see how long you can go without penetration: That's what makes a champion lover in the long run. And most important, it will help alleviate the pressure you feel to perform. Touch every inch of each other's bodies, lick, nibble, whisper and laugh, but stop as soon as the going gets really hot and do not have full intercourse ... not until you are both gasping for it. Then, afterward, stay in each other's arms as you fall asleep. That's how you'll remember, or maybe learn for the first time, why we call the deed lovemaking and why it is a topic for poetry and novels and songs, even for pornography, but not for the Guinness World Records book.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Lucky Bastard!!

 
 




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
GUATEMALA CITY - Mayan priests will purify a sacred archaeological site to eliminate "bad spirits" after President Bush visits next week, an official with close ties to the group said Thursday. "That a person like (Bush), with the persecution of our migrant brothers in the United States, with the wars he has provoked, is going to walk in our sacred lands, is an offense for the Mayan people and their culture," Juan Tiney, the director of a Mayan nongovernmental organization with close ties to Mayan religious and political leaders, said Thursday. Bush's seven-day tour of Latin America includes a stopover beginning late Sunday in Guatemala. On Monday morning he is scheduled to visit the archaeological site Iximche on the high western plateau in a region of the Central American country populated mostly by Mayans. Tiney said the "spirit guides of the Mayan community" decided it would be necessary to cleanse the sacred site of "bad spirits" after Bush's visit so that their ancestors could rest in peace. He also said the rites which entail chanting and burning incense, herbs and candles would prepare the site for the third summit of Latin American Indians March 26-30. Bush's trip has already has sparked protests elsewhere in Latin America, including protests and clashes with police in Brazil hours before his arrival. In Bogota, Colombia, which Bush will visit on Sunday, 200 masked students battled 300 riot police with rocks and small homemade explosives. The tour is aimed at challenging a widespread perception that the United States has neglected the region and at combatting the rising influence of Venezuelan leftist President Hugo Chavez, who has called Bush "history's greatest killer" and "the devil." Iximche, 30 miles west of the capital of Guatemala City, was founded as the capital of the Kaqchiqueles kingdom before the Spanish conquest in 1524.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"Anne Heche Wins Europe Pagent!"-Tracy
Runners-up
"Owen Wilson, just before he found himself a new agent."-Paul
"France has found something they can WIN."-Dan
"We always thought He-man was queer, heres your proof"-Josh



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