For The Week Of 03/14/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen this guy's an escaped convict - look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jailand hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Fat Guy Shirts -Funny
Pet Breast Feeding -Nasties!
Exit Mundi -End Of The World!
Best Booty Ever -Video Clip
Hobo Slang -Just In Case
Missile Strike -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Hotels And Motel!
The busy person you are, you dont have time to cook, So you eat a lot fast food. The problem is that they never get your order right, and the customer service is third rate. Well, If you have one of these experiences, call the Corporate Office on their 800 number and let them know the crappy condition of the place and employees. Your prize for being a snitch will be a free meal on them. Now that you have free meal, log on to Sublime and get some free porn!
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Jacki
Why does it take such a long time for my boyfriend to get hard?

A:
While some men get hard-ons from the mere thought of sex, others are a little slower to rise to the occasion. If your guy's arousal pattern has always been like this and it doesn't interfere with your ability to enjoy sex, then it's likely nothing to worry about. You may be able to fire his desire faster by dabbling in some erotic experimentation, such as adding titillating talk, donning lusty lingerie or watching sexy flicks together. But if the development is recent, he can't maintain his erection, and/or the delay is long enough to leave your libido lagging, you need to deal with the situation before it has a negative impact on your relationship, sexually as well as emotionally. The most common causes of erectile difficulties in young men include prescription medications, drug or alcohol use, stress and exhaustion. Luckily, all these culprits are temporary and easily rectified. However, it's also possible that the problem is due to a medical condition or is psychological in nature (performance anxiety, depression), in which case you should try to convince him to see his doc so you can get your love -- and lust -- life back on track.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Safety First
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "milkshake.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "milkshake.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Japan - A Japanese professor claims his country has the shape of its women's pubic hair to thank for its place on the world stage. Professor Asaki Geino has published a thesis where he argues that the type of pubic hair a woman has affects her personality. He says the pubic hair of Japanese women is of the type belonging to those who are good mothers, faithful wives and caring daughters. The professor's thesis classifies women into five types, with most Japanese women having pubic hair like an "inverted triangle". Professor Geinoe said: "This type is characterised by faithfulness and fitness for family life. "Women of this type are good mothers, faithful wives and caring daughters. I don't think I'm wrong when I say that precisely this type of woman helped Japan become the glorious country it is." On the other hand, women most likely to be unfaithful had pubic hair resembling the "mouth of a river". "Usually female pubic hair grows in the form of an upside down triangle, but some women's is oblong or elliptical in shape," the professor told Pravda. "It's not that rare for women with oblong-shaped pubic hair to fall in love at first sight or fall head-over-heels with passion. They also don't like sitting at home on their own." - Ananova.com
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
Kibbles 'n Tits, Kibbles 'n Tits!
!"-Jason
Runners-up
"even the dog knows that there is a bone hidden under " her " bikini bottoms "-R
"Is it still a threesome if the dog licks your ass?" -Scott



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