For The Week Of 03/20/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


One day Fred and Pete are out duck hunting with Fred's new dog "Riley". Fred tells his buddy that Riley is the most amazing dog he has ever seen when it comes to hunting ducks.

"How so?" asks Pete.

"Well, I look at Riley and I say "Riley, go get 'em" and he hauls off into the marsh, then comes back and tells me how many ducks are out there by the number of times that he barks at me."

"Bullshit!"

"Okay, watch!" Fred tells Riley to "go get 'em" and about 10 minutes latter, Riley comes back and barks 6 times. Just about that time 6 ducks fly out from the marsh.

Fred tells Riley to "go get 'em" again and he comes back a while later and barks 4 times. 4 Ducks fly out from the marsh.

Pete says – "Holy shit! This dog is unbelievable. Can I buy him from you, name your price!"

"I don’t know Pete, I kinda like the dog, I don't think I can sell him."

"How 'bout $5,000?"

"SOLD!"

A few weeks go by and Fred runs into Pete down at the local feed store.

"How's my dog been treatin’ you?" says Fred.

"Aw, I had to shoot that damn dog 2 days ago."

"WHAT! Why did you shoot the dog?"

"Well, I took him out last weekend to the marsh for duck hunting and sent him off to the marsh just like you would and he was gone for almost an hour. He came back a runnin' as fast as he could out of the marsh with a stick in his mouth, went up to my leg and started humpin' me like I was the prom queen or somethin' and shakin' that stick all about. I thought he had rabbies or somethin', so I shot him."

"You dumb ass, he was tryin' to tell you that there were more fucking ducks than you can shake a stick at!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Dont Date Him Girls -Take This Site Down!
Steak And Bj Day -Gotta Celebrate that!
WW2 -In Color
AutoMated Bar-Gotta Have One At The House!
Louis Wain -Progression of Mental Health
Funky Truck Arizona -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Department Stores!
If you have a hot date tonight, but smell like a coal miner's sock, don't blow your cash on cologne - you need your Hamiltons to impress your lady friend. Just head over to the fragrance counter at your local department store and try out a "sample." And for your second date? If you can't afford cologne, we don't think you'll have to worry about that.
contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by J
How can I compensate for the short shaft that I have? What can I do to satisfy my girl?
A:
Well, I’d have to say that some lingual loving is right at the top of most women’s list of satisfying sexual experiences. A little tongue-lashing or the old tongue-finger combo is a sure winner. However, I suspect you want to delve deeper than that. You say your shaft is short; how’s the girth? If you’re doing fine in that regard (about 5 inches in circumference is the average), your woman might well have no problem. Many gals like the feeling of fullness, but can’t stand the sometimes painful banging on the cervix they get from an extra-long dong. But if you still feel that she’s not getting it like she likes it, there is an astounding variety of dildos and vibrators that might fulfill whatever pleasure she’s seeking. Try doing some toy shopping with your honey. You can even do it from the privacy of your own home by shopping on the Internet at places like Good Vibrations, Adultshop.com, or Toys in Babeland. Finally, the most foolproof way to make sure she’s getting satisfied is to ask her. Let her know how important it is to you, and ask her to be honest. While you’re at it, don’t forget to tell her what you like, too. Communication is one of the best sexual stimulants there is.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Extreme Biking!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "bike.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "fire.asx" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
PORT RICHEY - It was 8:20 a.m. Tuesday when a Port Richey police dispatcher got the call. A resident on Sunset Boulevard reported seeing an injured dolphin near Harbor Pointe at channel marker 17, at the mouth of the Pithlachascotee River. The animal was bleeding. Preparing for the worst, officials sprang into action. The dispatcher called Florida Marine Patrol at 8:24. A veterinarian from the Clearwater Marine Aquarium was called at 8:30 At 8:45, the Port Richey Police Department's marine unit arrived in wet suits and went down the river using two boats borrowed from a civilian. At 9:15, the Port Richey Fire Department was called. Police Sgt. David Brown said the scene "gave the appearance the other dolphins were trying to help by nosing, or pushing, the injured dolphin to the surface. Closer inspection by veterinarian Janine Cianciolo told a different story: A female dolphin was surrounded by two male dolphins. She was bleeding because the trio had been horsing around. The injury was minor, leading the Fire Department to cancel the call at 10:47. "What looked like dolphin distress turned out to be a mating procedure," Brown said. "It wasn't a dolphin in distress call. It was a Mother Nature call. I'm sure the dolphins were saying, "Go away, leave us alone.' " Council member Phyllis Grae, who lives nearby, said the dolphin behavior was something she has seen before. "They love to mate on those waters," she said. "We see that a lot. I guess it's calm and serene."
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"The Jerk II...Coming soon to a theater near you!!" -Rokcy
Runners-up
"Cracker wanting to be an OREO."-Tmils
"Amidst growing concern, the African government recently passed a new law requiring all “Dickheads” to now wear condoms in public"-Pete
"Can you find the probation officer? "-Davis
"I told you cousin Earl was adopted."-Rich
"cream always rises to the top!."-Ralph
"and the said the people left in new oreleans were idiots.."-Jason



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