For The Week Of 03/22/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man went to the doctor’s office for a full body exam. To the doctor’s surprise, the man had a cork where his asshole should be. “What is this?”, asked the Doctor. “Oh, you’re referring to the cork. Don’t try to remove it… it’s permanent.” “How did it happen?” “Well, few months ago I was having a long walk on the beach when I accidentally tripped over a lamp. And then there was a lot of smoke and a genie came out of it. He says,‘I shall grant you one wish.‘” So I said, “NO SHIT!!”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Rudy Huxtable -All Grown Up!
PhotoShop Heaven -From Our Friends At Fark!
Amazing Pictures From Iraq! -Present Day
WWSKS -What Would Sam Kinison Say!
POOP PALS -WTF!
Yeti -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...RoadBlocks!
If you should find yourself on the lam, driving without insurance, or had a beer, the last thing you want to encounter is a police checkpoint. But with a calm head and reasonable downfield vision, you can escape unpleasant legal entanglements and their even more unpleasant prison sex consequences. As soon as you notice the roadblock ahead, put on your emergency flashers, carefully pull over, kill the engine and remove the keys. Lift up your hood to create the impression that your car is cooked (instead of you) and start walking the other way. While high-tailing it out of there, get on your cell phone and call a friend or a cab to pick you up. Return early the next morning to pick up your car. Repeat until busted.
contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Gem
My boyfriend needs fast thrusting during intercourse to achieve orgasm, but I like it slow. Plus, it takes me longer to climax. What can we do that will give us both pleasure?

A:
Since you need a little more time and tenderness in the sack than your boyfriend, the best way to get mutual satisfaction is to make sure you get off first. Have your man turn you on with lots of foreplay. When you're totally aroused and ready to do the deed, you can keep him from resorting to his usual jackhammer style of lovemaking by taking the woman-on-top position. This pose puts you in control of the tempo, depth of penetration and motion so you can experiment until you get the type of stimulation you need to send you over the edge. Then, try transitioning into doggy style or missionary mode -- positions that will let your man crank up the pace. If orgasm still eludes you, ask your guy to continue to stimulate you orally or manually once he's climaxed. And remember, nothing turns on a guy more than a turned-on woman, so don't feel guilty about taking your time and luxuriating in pleasure.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Human Target!
 
 

to view clip: right click flash and choose "save target as" option. save the file "humantarget.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "humantarget.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
March 20, 2004 -- Virgin Atlantic Airways yesterday flushed plans to install a urinal shaped like a woman's mouth at its new executive clubhouse at Kennedy Airport. On the day a press conference was called by the National Organization of Women to denounce the urinals, Virgin Customer Service VP John Riordan announced the British airline was canning its plans. Riordan, who said earlier this week he expected the response to be "very positive" after the design was unveiled, issued an apology. "Everyone at Virgin Atlantic was very sorry to hear of people's concerns about the design of the 'Kisses' urinals to be fitted into our clubhouse at JFK Airport," Riordan said in a statement. "We can assure everyone who complained to us that no offense was ever intended. The urinals themselves were the idea of a female designer and we were therefore surprised by the reaction." Riordan said the company intended the urinals - which appeared as red lips shaped like a puckered-up mouth - to be "fun and quirky." But women's rights groups and several politicians weren't laughing. "It is a symbolic act of degrading and humiliating women," Rita Haley, president of NOW's city chapter, said at a City Hall press conference yesterday. Councilman Phil Reed (D-Manhattan), who learned of the about-face during the press conference, said he was glad Virgin changed its mind. But he questioned why the decision was ever made in the first place. "There was a mentality that said that was acceptable," Reed said. "What were they thinking? That's really the question that you have to ask. Or was it a publicity stunt just to get their name out there?" Reed said he wants an apology from Virgin owner and self-made billionaire Richard Branson. "I'd like to hear that from the man who flies around telling us that he's so wonderful and so brilliant," Reed said. "If he's hired somebody that stupid, maybe he should fire all of them." Councilman John Liu (D-Queens) said the company has a responsibility to set a standard. "This kind of action taken by a major company does lead to more misogyny in our society, it leads to potential violence against women and that's why this is so harmful," Liu said. "It's all meant in good fun, so they should not have any problems with their own face being on these urinals. I think that's what they should do," he said. The urinals were supposed to be installed in the men's room at the airline's new clubhouse - an upscale, 7,000-square-foot lounge that has a waterfall with a reflecting pool, a bar with a 42-inch plasma screen, a dining area and a bar equipped with four Sony PlayStations. It is open only to passengers on Virgin's new Upper Class suite service.
 
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Winner
"Texas Tickler!"-Jackson
Runners-up
"Ribbed for her pleasure!!!!!"-Lance
"Get your Enzyte today! Side effects include..."-Chase



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