|JOKE OF THE
this guy is driving along the highway
and gets pulled over. the officer comes up to the car and asks if he
knows why he was pulled over. "yeah i was speeding the man said.
okay," the officer says," can i see your license and registration
please? no sorry, i don't have it on me," the driver says. "can you
show me proof of insurance? yeah", the man says," it's in my glove
box next to my gun. you have a gun in your glove box?" says the
officer. " yes i do," says the driver. " is there anything else you
want to tell me?" the driver thinks and says, " yeah i have the gun
so nobody steals the weed under my back seat and the cocaine in my
trunk. really" says the officer, " hold on a minute." the officer
goes back to his cruiser and calls for backup which quickly arrives
including the head lieutenant. the lieutenant approaches the car and
says to the man," do you have any identification i can see? yeah,"
the driver says and readily pulls out his! license and registration.
" open your glove box," says the lieutenant. the driver does this
and pulls out his insurance card. the lieutenant gets the card and
looks at it. he then proceeds to check the back seat and sees
nothing. "open you trunk" the driver does this and the lieutenant
finds nothing. hey goes back to the front of the car puzzled and
says, "I'm a little confused, my officer called me for backup and
said you had no identification, you had a gun in your glove box, you
hide weed in your back seat and cocaine in your trunk, and that
doesn't appear to be the case?" the driver looks up at him and says,
"i bet that son of a bitch told you i was speeding too!!!!!!!!"
|SITES OF THE
Schitt -Family History. |
|Stripper -Or Dress Her! |
|Good Wife -How To
Food -Tasty! |
|Tip and Trick of
the Week |
|Leave Work Early! |
Taking off early from the
office, but don’t want your boss to know? If you use Microsoft
Outlook to send e-mail at work, chances are this trick will provide
you the perfect alibi: Compose a new e-mail message to your
boss—whatever’s suitable (“Hey Bob, can we talk about X, Y, Z
tomorrow?”). Before you hit “Send,” go to the overhead menu and
choose “File,” then “Properties.” In the window that opens, choose
“Send Options,” and in the next window, click “Microsoft Exchange
Server.” If you can get this far, you’re golden. In the new window,
choose “Send this item.” Change the radio button from “Immediately”
to “In X minutes,” then type 30, 60, 120—whatever time you want the
e-mail sent. Close out all the boxes and hit “Send.” Your boss will
get your e-mail later, and think you’ve been working hard all night
long. P.S. You might want to test this out by sending yourself a
time-delayed e-mail first.
contributions or suggestions to
Q: submitted by
This may not be the typical question you get but
since you are a "doc" I thought you might be able to help me. My
problem is that I am skinny as hell and even though I work out I can
not gain muscle. I've tried every pill at GNC and nothing helps. I'm
ready to just give up all together. Please tell me that you can help
me. By the way I LOVE the site!
you are in luck on
this one! i've been into working out since i was 15 and i think i
have gotten it down to the perfect balance of effort and results. as
you get older time management becomes a serious issue and i think
working out 5 times a week is just not feasible for many people. i'm
going to describe a regimen that should put on plenty of muscle and
is a good way to bulk up. the single most important thing in gaining
weight is EATING. this may seem obvious enough but many people over
look it. you need to eat at least every 3-4 hours. anymore time in
between and your insulin will not be behaving like you want it to.
you HAVE to eat when you wake up and you HAVE to eat before you go
to bed. i have a met-rx with two servings of egg beaters mixed into
it and a banana. i know there could be better things but this is
something that does not take long to prepare and will do the trick
for bulking up. for your meals through out the day always eat a
protein and a carb..never just a carb. try not to eat fast food all
the time b/c it has too much fat to digest and there is no way you
will be able to eat every three hours. as for your workout regimen
you are going to work out hard, heavy and fast. on monday do two
exercises for a total of 4 sets for chest, 2 sets of one shoulder
exercise, 2 sets of one tricep exercise and calves. on wednesday do
two exercises for a total of 4 sets for back, 2 sets of one bicep
exercise and forearms. on friday do 6 sets of squat, 2 sets of
stiff-legged dead lefts and calves. all exercises are to be done in
the 6-8 rep range with the exception of calves and forearms for
15-30 on them. you may notice that you are probably doing far fewer
sets per body part than most people in the gym but most people in
the gym look exactly the same year after year! since you are doing
fewer sets you can push yourself much harder. as a great one once
told me "you can tap a stick of dynamite all day long with a pencil
and it does nothing, but hit it with a hammer and watch out." there
is a lot of truth to this statement. just look at the contrast in
physiques between a long distance runner and a 40 yard dash
sprinter. also stick to dumbbells and barbells as much as possible.
since your body is forced to balance them, as well as move them,
they are much better for growth. as for supplements...just take a
good multi-vitamin if you don't eat vegetables and take creatine,
its the only supplement that causes noticeable results. if this
doesn't work there is always steroids that you can get over the
internet. j/k ;-).
clip OF THE WEEK
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Keep on Racing!!!
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:email@example.com?subject=stimes_video.
|In March, the Saskatoon
(Saskatchewan) StarPhoenix, citing several witnesses inside
the Pine Grove Correctional Centre, reported that some
formerly heroin-addicted female inmates so desperately crave
methadone that they routinely consume the fresh vomit of
inmates currently on methadone treatment because enough is
still present in the regurgitation. The newspaper uncovered
the practice while investigating the death of an inmate in
February. Said a source, "The whole building knows (that the
inmate choked on vomit). That's how she died." [Saskatoon
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Pink and Britney prove they still have the moves that count!."
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