For The Week Of 03/26/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I`ve won 8 of them!" Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I`ve won 19!" "Oh that`s good, but in the last 36 races, I`ve won 28!", says another, flicking his tail. At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don`t mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I`ve won 88 of them!" The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Comic Book -Unintentionally Funny
Big Brother -license Plate Registration Recognition!
Wrecked Exotics -Hurts To Look At!
AFDB -Testimonials
Whale-The Real Time
Desktop Defense-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Free Stuff!
To get free stuff or huge discount coupons, write letters to big-name companies complaining that you (or your wife—works better) are dissatisfied with their product. Be careful to cite the UPC code from the product in question and mention that it’s usually so good, as you are a regular user of their goods and/or services. This works better as an e-mail, and is successful on eight out of 10 products, providing they’re food or clothing. (Ball up that letter to Ferrari right now…dumbass.) Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Fitch
Why do all woman suck? Either they aren’t attractive and love you or are extremely attractive and think they’re God’s gift to men. Where’s the happy medium?

A:

Funny, most guys want to know why women won’t suck. Seriously, sometimes dating and relationships just don’t work. Even poor old Brad couldn’t make it last (if you’re reading this and need some comfort, Mr. Pitt, drop me a line). There are no surefire tricks, but there are some things you can do to get things going: 1. Hone your sense of humor. It’s true. Women love guys who can make them laugh. (Without being required to pull a finger, thanks.) 2. Go for a slightly older girl. In general, as women mature, they look at guys in terms of overall attractiveness. Sure, looks still matter, but an older hottie considers smarts, talent, humor (see above), togetherness, as well as open-mindedness and a willingness to communicate just as, if not more, important than your mug—though I’m sure you’re Brad Pitt–calibre in the realm of attractiveness. It’s just that older women generally have less time and patience for the games that younger women are more apt to play. 3. Look a little deeper. It’s true, sometimes ugly is just ugly, but a girl doesn’t need to be supermodel quality to be hot. Sometimes the most unassuming woman is actually a wildcat-in-waiting. Lucky you if you’re the one who lets the cat out of her cage. As you go forth and wow the ladies with your funny, open-minded self, remember that dating’s not about what you deserve; it’s about finding someone you enjoy being with. Keep an eye out for hotties while doing the things you like most, be it hiking, surfing, playing music, and so on. Then try being friends with a few gals who share your interests and let things grow from there. If you don’t have interests, cultivate a few of those first.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Scorpion Kick!

 
 



Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
INCINNATI (AP) - Customers at some suburban pizza parlors are getting something extra with their pepperoni and mushrooms - wanted posters for parents accused of failing to pay child support. The idea came to Cynthia Brown, executive director of the Butler County Child Enforcement Agency, while she was ordering pizza. "It suddenly dawned on me that most people running from the law don't eat out, they order pizza," said Brown, whose county is north of Cincinnati. Enforcement agencies across the country use a variety of methods to locate support scofflaws and collect past-due payments. Virginia has issued subpoenas to cellular phone companies seeking addresses and phone numbers. California's Kern County seizes and auctions parents' vehicles, with proceeds going to the children, said Kay Cullen, a spokeswoman for the National Child Support Enforcement Association. State child support agencies collected more than $23 billion in child support for 17.2 million children in 2005, but the cumulative past-due child support since the agencies were first formed more than 30 years ago is $106 billion, Cullen said. "While we have made progress, putting the wanted posters on pizza boxes is an example of the innovation and commitment that we need," she said. Other Ohio counties put posters on their Web sites and work with local Crime Stoppers programs, and a few contract with companies that can track people through rental and cell phone records, according to the Ohio Child Support Directors Association. Some include fliers in water and sewer bills. Butler County has printed posters with mug shots of its 10 most-wanted parents, placing them in post offices and other government buildings and sending them to Ohio's 87 other counties. The lineup, chosen by prosecutors, is changed twice a year. The Butler County sheriff's office served 1,224 nonsupport warrants last year, said sheriff's Sgt. Todd Langmeyer. The county has about 350,000 residents. Brown approached several restaurants and chains with her idea of affixing the posters to pizza boxes, but so far only three pizzerias are participating. Since the first pizza posters appeared in August, they have led to one arrest, Langmeyer said. "It's a good idea any time you can put the faces out there," he said. The owner of Karen's Pizzeria hasn't heard any complaints about her participation in the poster program. "Some customers joke about it and say they're glad they aren't on it," Karen Willis said. "Most seem to think it's a good idea." An attorney who focuses on fathers' rights cases called the tactic "horrible." "It's just a way of shaming people," said Maury Beaulier, whose firm is in Eden Prairie, Minn. Many circumstances can cause people to get behind in support payments, but that doesn't make them deadbeats, he said. Widespread public shaming also can devastate the children, said Michael McCormick, executive director of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children. "Think how children feel to see a parent on a wanted poster and know their friends might see it," he said. Brown said her agency tries to work with parents by trying to help them find work and seeks most payments through civil court. Criminal charges are a last resort. Conviction on a felony count of failing to pay child support brings a prison sentence of up to 18 months, with fines usually set in the amount of the support owed. "We aren't trying to penalize these people," Brown said. "We are just trying to help the kids who have a right to be supported."
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Peek a boob!"-Al
Runners-up
"everyone smile and say nipple!"-Shiela
"dinner and a show, without the dinner"-Jason
"Look mom, no tanlines-!!"-J



contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com



Show your support..Suggest SublimeTimes to a friend!
Friend's Email:
Your name: NOTE: Please put a name your friend will recognize
 

Archived Issues:
|06-18-2001 |06-25-2001 |07-02-2001 |07-09-2001 |07-16-2001 |
|07-23-2001 |07-30-2001 |08-06-2001 |08-13-2001 |08-20-2001 |
|08-27-2001 |09-03-2001 |09-10-2001 |09-17-2001 |09-23-2001 |
|10-01-2001 |10-08-2001 |10-15-2001 |10-22-2001 |10-30-2001 |
|11-05-2001 |11-12-2001 |11-17-2001 |11-24-2001 |12-03-2001 |
|12-10-2001 |12-17-2001 |12-24-2001 |12-31-2001 |01-07-2002 |
|01-14-2002 |01-21-2002 |02-04-2002 |02-11-2002 |02-18-2002 |
|02-25-2002 |03-03-2002 |03-10-2002 |03-18-2002 |03-25-2002 |
|04-01-2002 |04-08-2002 |04-15-2002 |04-22-2002 |04-29-2002 |
|05-06-2002 |05-13-2002 |05-20-2002 |05-27-2002 |06-03-2002 |
|06-10-2002 |06-17-2002 |06-24-2002 |07-01-2002 |07-07-2002 |
|07-15-2002 |07-22-2002 |07-29-2002 |08-05-2002 |08-12-2002 |
|08-19-2002 |08-26-2002 |09-02-2002 |09-09-2002 |09-16-2002 |
|09-23-2002 |09-30-2002 |10-07-2002 |10-14-2002 |10-21-2002 |
|10-28-2002 |11-04-2002 |11-11-2002 |11-18-2002 |11-25-2002 |
|12-02-2002 |12-09-2002 |12-16-2002 |12-23-2002 |12-30-2002 |
|01-06-2003 |01-13-2003 |01-20-2003 |01-27-2003 |02-03-2003 |
|02-10-2003 |02-17-2003 |02-24-2003 |03-03-2003 |03-10-2003 |
|03-17-2003 |03-24-2003 |03-31-2003 |04-07-2003 |04-14-2003 |
|04-21-2003 |04-28-2003 |05-05-2003 |05-12-2003 |05-19-2003 |
|05-27-2003 |06-02-2003 |06-09-2003 |06-16-2003 |06-24-2003 |
|06-30-2003 |07-07-2003 |07-14-2003 |07-21-2003 |07-28-2003 |
|08-04-2003 |08-11-2003 |08-18-2003 |08-25-2003 |09-01-2003 |
|09-08-2003 |09-15-2003 |09-22-2003 |09-29-2003 |10-06-2003 |
|10-13-2003 |10-20-2003 |10-27-2003 |11-03-2003 |11-10-2003 |
|11-17-2003 |11-24-2003 |12-01-2003 |12-08-2003 |12-15-2003 |
|12-22-2003 |12-29-2003 |01-05-2004 |01-12-2004 |01-19-2004 |
|01-26-2004 |02-02-2004 |02-09-2004 |02-16-2004 |02-23-2004 |
|03-01-2004 |03-08-2004 |03-15-2004 |03-22-2004 |03-29-2004 |
|04-05-2004 |04-12-2004 |04-19-2004 |04-26-2004 |05-03-2004 |
|05-10-2004 |05-17-2004 |05-24-2004 |05-31-2004 |06-07-2004 |
|06-14-2004 |06-21-2004 |06-28-2004 |07-05-2004 |07-12-2004 |
|07-19-2004 |07-26-2004 |08-02-2004 |08-09-2004 |08-16-2004 |
|08-23-2004 |08-30-2004 |09-06-2004 |09-13-2004 |09-20-2004 |
|09-27-2004 |10-04-2004 |10-11-2004 |10-18-2004 |10-25-2004 |
|11-01-2004 |11-08-2004 |11-15-2004 |11-22-2004 |11-29-2004 |
|12-06-2004 |12-13-2004 |12-20-2004 |12-27-2004 |01-03-2005 |
|01-10-2005 |01-17-2005 |01-24-2005 |01-31-2005 |02-07-2005 |
|02-14-2005 |02-21-2005 |02-28-2005 |03-07-2005 |03-14-2005 |
|03-21-2005 |03-28-2005 |04-04-2005 |04-11-2005 |04-18-2005 |
|04-24-2005 |05-02-2005 |05-09-2005 |05-16-2005 |05-23-2005 |
|05-30-2005 |06-06-2005 |06-13-2005 |06-20-2005 |06-27-2005 |
|07-04-2005 |07-11-2005 |07-18-2005 |07-25-2005 |08-01-2005 |
|08-08-2005 |08-15-2005 |08-22-2005 |08-29-2005 |09-04-2005 |
|09-11-2005 |09-17-2005 |09-24-2005 |10-03-2005 |10-10-2005 |
|10-17-2005 |10-24-2005 |10-31-2005 |11-07-2005 |11-14-2005 |
|11-21-2005 |11-28-2005 |12-05-2005 |12-12-2005 |12-19-2005 |
|12-26-2005 |01-02-2006 |01-09-2006 |01-16-2006 |01-23-2006 |
|01-31-2006 |02-06-2006 |02-13-2006 |02-20-2006 |02-27-2006 |
|03-06-2006 |03-13-2006 |03-20-2006 |03-27-2006 |04-03-2006 |
|04-10-2006 |04-17-2006 |04-24-2006 |05-01-2006 |05-08-2006 |
|05-15-2006 |05-22-2006 |05-29-2006 |06-05-2006 |06-12-2006 |
|06-17-2006 |06-26-2006 |07-03-2006 |07-10-2006 |07-17-2006 |
|07-24-2006 |07-31-2006 |08-07-2006 |08-14-2006 |08-21-2006 |
|08-28-2006 |09-04-2006 |09-11-2006 |09-18-2006 |09-25-2006 |
|10-01-2006 |10-08-2006 |10-16-2006 |10-23-2006 |10-30-2006 |
|11-06-2006 |11-13-2006 |11-20-2006 |11-28-2006 |12-04-2006 |
|12-11-2006 |12-18-2006 |12-25-2006 |01-01-2007 |01-08-2007 |
|01-15-2007 |01-22-2007 |01-29-2007 |02-05-2007 |02-12-2007 |
|02-19-2007 |02-27-2007 |03-05-2007 |03-12-2007 |03-19-2007 |






[ back to sublime main ]