For The Week Of 03/28/2011
Happy with all the porn you are taking off Sublime… time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decide to go to college. Bubba goes first, and he is advised to take maths, history and logic. "What's logic?" says Bubba. "Well, let me give you an example," says the professor. "Do you own a tractor?" "Sure do," says Bubba. "Okay. Then I assume, using logic, that you have a yard." "That's real good," says Bubba, in awe. "Logic also tells me that since you have a yard, you also have a house. Is that right?" "Gawly!” says Bubba. "And since you own a house and a house is tough to take care of by yourself, the odds are that you have a wife. Right?" "Betty Mae! This is incredible!" "Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume you are heterosexual. Is that right?" "You are absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thang I ever heerd of. I can't wait to take this here logic class!" Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, goes back into the hallway where Cooter is waiting. "So what classes are ya takin’?" says Cooter. "Maths, history and logic," says Bubba. "What in tarnation is logic?" "Let me give you an example," says Bubba. "Do you own a tractor?" "No."

"Then you’re gay."

SITES OF THE WEEK
The Customer's -Not Always Right!
Posing -With Friends!
White Whine -First-World Problems!
My Bad Parent -Bad Parenting!
Helpful Figures -Bizarre Tax Guide!
Flash Angry Birds -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Kindlefish: Google Translate Optimized for the Kindle

The Kindle, a beloved companion for global travelers, seems ideal for language translation. Unfortunately, Google Translate, with its 50+ language translation powers, doesn't work on the Kindle.

Enter the Kindlefish web app, which turns the Kindle into a near-universal language translator.

Developed by road warrior Seattle Flyer Guy (a "travel and mileage nut"), Kindlefish enables users to tap into Google Translate via the Kindlefish URL. Kindlefish was designed to eliminate mobile Google Translate's clunkiness, offers three default output languages you can save, and provides easy-to-read translated text (even including Asian languages and others with non-Latin alphabets).

The Kindle browser, however, is notoriously slow & Kindlefish can also be susceptible to accuracy issues related to Google Translate and poor support for non-English input. The Kindle DX may also have a particular issue, although there's a workaround that the developer created for DX users. Those obstacles aside, if you travel a lot with your Kindle or ever wished you could use Google Translate from it, this web app is for you.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submitted by sg

How can I give my girlfriend stronger better orgasms. After sex and foreplay she tells me she orgasmed 2-3 to maybe 4 times. But when she always tells me that shes done masturbating she tells me about her outrageously strong orgasms. I flat out asked her if I've ever given her an orgasm like that, and she simply said "You've given me plenty orgasms but not strong like the ones I have by myself" I talk to her through sex and foreplay so i could give her the best orgasms and most times she tells me she cant go on because shes "done". But apparently these orgasms arent nothing like what shes giving herself. Any advice?

A:
1. Incorporate toys into your sex play together.

2. She knows how to do it best for herself, which probably explains this. Either try to get her to tell you JUST HOW to do it, or maybe she should stop masturbating for a wile (gasp!) and then you'll be better than her non-hand.

3. Are you stimulating her g-spot with a "come hither" motion with your fingers inside her? Just a thought about what you could add to the mix.

4. Since she's satisfied by you, why freak out about all this?

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Zidane Fake Out


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The story you are about to read is true. The names have not been changed because otherwise it wouldn’t be that interesting. The Fairfax County police on Tuesday arrested a man named Kevin Lee Cokayne and charged him with dealing drugs. Kevin Lee Cokayne (Fairfax County Sheriff's Office) The police were looking to acquire Cokayne, so they went to a house on Franklin Farm Road in the Herndon area and found Cokayne in a rented apartment in the basement, according to a search warrant affidavit filed in court . As the undercover detective walked downstairs and discovered Cokayne, the detective asked if he could search the apartment. That was no good for Cokayne, who told the detective, “I don’t see why you want to waste your time for an eighth of weed. It’s a misdemeanor,” according to the affidavit. So the cops got a search warrant for the home of Cokayne. But apparently Cokayne was selling marijuana, not cocaine, the court documents indicate. Police found a safe with marijuana, a wooden box with marijuana, two jars containing marijuana, a smoking device with marijuana, a digital scale, and “records and documents for Kevin Cocaine [sic],” a search inventory reveals. Cokayne, 24, was charged with two felony counts of distributing marijuana. On what appears to be his Facebook page, he has a picture of an eight-ball. We could not make this up.
 
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