For The Week Of 03/29/2010
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me . . . it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view of her private parts. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test . . . we couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family." And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car!

SITES OF THE WEEK
15 Lies Men Tell Their -Girlfriends!
Ever Gotten A Date -Online!
10 Bizarre Sex Ed -Videos!
Fanboys: A Field -Guide!
What Has Been Seen Cannot Be -UNSEEN!
There Is Only One Level -Game of the Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How To Impress A Lady.
Tip #1: Telling a woman she gives off a ÒhappyÓ vibe will make her feel good. ThatÕs the vibe most people want to give off all the time. It also allows you to then ask her about the things in her life that make her so happy, which will make her feel even better, positive feelings that sheÕll ultimately associate with talking to you. This kind of a comment centering on positivity is another one of our top 10 simple ways to impress women. Tip #2: Whether youÕre apartment-hunting or trying to set your buddy up on a blind date, women are impressed when you ask them for advice. It shows her that you value other peopleÕs opinions -- in particular, her opinion. Be careful not to come off as clueless here, though; you donÕt want to act like you know nothing. You also donÕt want to put her on the spot or make her feel uncomfortable. When asking for advice, get her perspective on a limited set of options. For example, does she think you should move into a townhouse or a loft? This kind of question allows her to easily express an opinion, and hopefully sparks a more extensive conversation. Tip #3: So hereÕs the thing: you want to give her a compliment, but you want it to seem sincere. Thus, you need something a little more original than, ÒYou have incredible eyes.Ó Give this a shot: Compliment the way she looks in her outfit. Say something like, ÒYou look great in that dress.Ó ItÕs a great way of telling her she looks hot without rerunning the same old compliment and it also communicates that youÕre attracted to her in a way that, ÒCool jacket!Ó does not. Tip #4: Another entry on our list of the top 10 simple ways to impress women: Open the door for her. Opening the door for a woman is a classic gentlemanly gesture. The otherwise admirable push for gender equality has largely eliminated acts of chivalry like this one. Do your part to bring chivalry back by opening the door for her. Tip #5: When youÕre getting to know a woman you should do your best to make her comfortable. That means steering a conversation toward a subject sheÕs comfortable talking about -- like her. Just about every woman likes to talk about herself. ItÕs a subject on which she has a lot of expertise, after all. Asking her questions about her past and her favorite things will allow her to open up and feel comfortable, while simultaneously showing her that youÕre interested in more than just her looks.. Tip #6: Nothing says, ÒYouÕre not that important.... Ó like taking a call from someone else or checking a text in the middle of a conversation. ThatÕs why ignoring your phone is one of our top 10 simple ways to impress women. The culture of texting has gotten way out of hand. Too many men think itÕs perfectly acceptable to take a phone call or fire off an e-mail while youÕre on a date or in the middle of a conversation. Well, we have news for you: ItÕs uncivil. When youÕre talking to a woman, let her see you silence your phone or turn it off completely -- show her she has your undivided attention. Tip #7: When deciding whether or not to ask a woman out on a date, you probably evaluate her personality and her looks, among other things like her sense of humor and her intelligence. Well, women do those things too, but they also think about our potential as partners. And one of the things that speaks to our potential is our ability to fit into her social network. Women are attracted to likable, social, charming men, the kind of guys their friends and families will love. So, engage in conversation with her friends even as youÕre working your magic on her. Impress them and youÕll impress her. Just make sure itÕs clear that sheÕs the one youÕre interested in. Tip #8: If youÕre trying to come up with simple ways to impress women, you might think about the kinds of things your grandfather used to do. Women love old-school displays of chivalry. Helping her put on her coat is a great example. ItÕs a kind, courteous act thatÕs not so common anymore. ThatÕs why it will help you stand out. ItÕs also a good way to increase her comfort level with you as it allows you to get close to her without getting too close. Tip #9: Scraggly facial hair styles and even a hint of body odor will kill your chances with women. Women want their men to be well groomed. They want them to look and smell good all the time. That doesnÕt mean you necessarily have to be clean-shaven, but any facial hair you do have should be well maintained. Think about it: You judge them based on the way they look. Why wouldnÕt they do the same with you? Tip #10: It can be tempting to look a beautiful woman up and down, and the more beautiful she is, the harder it is to concentrate on the conversation. Just remember, if she catches you staring at her chest when sheÕs telling you how much her mom means to her, youÕll look like a creep. Tips taken from Askmen Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by: Dan.

Hi Tina, Ok So Im a bit embarrased to ask this question, but when my girlfriend and I have sex, she farts. Not from her ass, but from her vagina. I know its called "queefing", but I don't understand what causes it. Im too shy to ask her or my friends. Figured you could help me out. Also is this something I can prevent?

A:
Dear Dan, This noisy emission is air escaping from your girlfriends vagina. When she is aroused, her vagina expands to allow room for your penis, your thrusting during intercourse pushes air into her, which fills the space in the inner part of her vagina that has expanded. A shift in body position or a deep thrust can force that air out, resulting in the fartlike sound. It's also possible to queef postorgasm, when air is expelled as the vagina returns to its prearoused state. Its completely natural so dont make a big fuss about it. You should be focusing on making her come anyway. Good Luck Babe!

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Masumi Max Making Her Tits Dance!
 
 

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Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A TASMANIAN man bashed and choked his girlfriend until she blacked out after he tried to leave the scene where she engaged him in a threesome. The Supreme Court in Burnie heard the woman brought her female friend along on a camping trip last April and confessed to her partner, Phillip Hilton Bissett, that she was bisexual. She plied Bissett, 44, with alcohol to make him "more receptive" to the notion of a threesome. The court heard the three engaged in some "mild intimacy" but, as the two women became more involved with each other, Bissett decided to leave. He drove off but, drunk, crashed into bushes. His partner ran after him and tried to take the car keys from him. By this stage others in the camping area were looking on. As the woman again grabbed at the keys, Bissett slapped her and pushed her to the ground. She tried to run off, but Bissett punched her to the head, chest and back before choking her until she lost consciousness. The victim suffered bruising and a sore neck but recovered. Bissett spent the night and next day in police custody. He pleaded guilty yesterday to two counts of assault. Justice David Porter said the relationship continued and the pair had since become engaged. "She has been reluctant to see the matter pursued," Justice Porter said. "I am told, and I accept, that there was no violence in this relationship, nor has there been since." The judge said domestic violence cases were normally considered a serious breach of trust in a relationship. "I accept that you are remorseful and that there is little likelihood of repetition," he said. "It must be noted that the events were witnessed or heard by a number of children and young persons." Bissett received a three-month jail sentence, wholly suspended on condition he is of good behaviour for two years.
 
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